KateThoughts

"Your Mind is..."

It's my mind, of course, that concerns me, being the center of my universe and all...

The speech was written and given by David Foster Wallace (February 21, 1962 – September 12, 2008).
The excellent graphics were done by After Skool.

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I'm in that place he mentions at one point when I know that I could think better...I just don't have the energy, and don't really want to.

A Poem about Touch

a reader story from Time Goes By...    Topsy Turvy 

various methods for successful hugging are being created.

This from CBS Sunday Morning is the most recent I've found.  And one that two of my Dear Dear Friends have followed.  WONDERFUL!

Ferangstall

The new word is Ferangstall.

It is Ferocious.  and Ferociousness ......and.......Angst
...................and............Anger
..................................and.........Stalling(? yes, probably..)
.................................................and........................................Drama... certainly...
And All Mine.

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And the toothaches subsided, and then came back like a bad habit. This morning, I had two teeth removed and am on antibiotics, myself, now. And they leave a hole that will show. And I am even more vain than I knew.

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About the last thing that happened at AHC of Glendale was a meeting with a speech/cognition therapist. Part of the time all three of us were there. Then she sent me out for a bit while she & Joel did some tests. Then she had me come back. There are some definite issues with Joel's cognition. She is easily distracted; her short-term memory sucks; she can become mildly or moderately paranoid; and some of these symptoms may not go away. Some may. 
No way to know. Both of us miss Chris, the therapist.

She is back in the hospital, but set to go to another rehab as soon as the right wound vac equipment can be ordered and delivered. Perhaps tomorrow, Sunday, the 14th. Maybe Monday.

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So, I say I don't want guests and what do I get? Unannounced guests. As soon as Kathryn and Marcia heard that Joel had been readmitted to the hospital, they got in their little car and drove 500 miles to see us. Thankfully, they called me from Tucson so I had a couple of hours to settle into the realization that they were really almost here, and to get over the thoughts of the things they could have brought me had they only asked!  (yes, I'm still me)

And also thankfully, they didn't call because I would have thought of a ton of reasons for them not to come. They stayed only two nights - in my bungalow. It worked! I wish I had had the camera in my hand when Joel saw them standing in the doorway of her room.  Priceless.

It was wonderful. They fed me twice and filled the frig with yummy leftovers. We shared a few beers and lots of laughs and I didn't know how much I needed the sight of a familiar face until I saw theirs.
They left again on Friday, seeing Joel again on the way out. So, in addition to taking care of our two dogs, they drove 1000 miles for us between Wednesday morning and Friday night. It was a perfect experience for me, and extremely generous of them. How can Thank You be enough for that?

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As for busy brains, I found this:
 

Time for bed...maybe a tylenol... sweet dreams, kiddos.

 

Sobbing over Unexpected Buddhas

Well, I wanted to title this "Pissshitfuckdamnandhell!" But somehow it doesn't fit exactly right.

Was on FB just now and watched this video that I've see a dozen times already.

When you watch it, listen to the words of the song. You may already know it in theory. Laura, you know it, probably viscerally.
You can listen to Tim McGraw sing it here. "Live Like You Were Dying"

It has felt inspiring several times. This time is different. This time, I'm sobbing

This time, I'm nearly 67 years old.
This time, I'm contemplating a 2nd 100 Days.
This time, I know that I am dying. No, not that way, not by someone's verdict or diagnosis; but just like we all are dying - one day at a time.
This time, I want different things.
This time, I'm indicted by her accomplishments - by those of several I see & respect...
This time, I will learn to do SOMETHING as well as this young woman trains horses.
This time, I'm working on deep core stuff that has stifled me for decades.
This time, I'll make a commitment to myself and give it the WEIGHT that I assign to my commitments to others.
This time I'll learn to quiet my mind.
This time, I'll find out where the fury comes from.  And break it's hold. And change my mind.


And when I die, I'll be spiritually/psychologically conscious and bursting with Joy & Anticipation.

So, I'm dying.
My first task, as I see it, is to define just what I want in the rest of my days.

This is the list I've written in the last week or two: qualities I want:

Happiness
Joy
Lightness
Confidence
Balance
Satisfaction
Worth
Love
Empathy

I'll get there by making and keeping promises to myself. I must change some deep-seated beliefs and dump plenty of old habit energy. I'll stop taking it easy, and start making life easy by doing those things that feed me. I'll create some new habits and believe new things. And my new practices will last the rest of this physical lifetime.

The 'things' list includes these...

Music has to be in it.

Movement has to be in it.

Tai Chi has to be in it.

I don't know what else I might need.

I do know that my computer usage has to drop by about 80%. That'll be no problem; FB will go, mostly. I'll probably be setting timers in the early parts of this transformation. : )
I DO love my computer. And Laura is in here!! 

Today is Tuesday, so it's Karaoke Day at Hacienda de LaLa. Therefore, there will be LOTS of music.

And today and in the next few days, I'll flesh out the rest of what must go and what gets pushed higher on the list of priorities. And pick some dates for this new 100 Days.

And, one day, when Jim asks again, "What is stopping you from doing those things that you KNOW are good & right for you?", I'll be able to say, "Nothing, anymore, my Friend."

Thanks for standing by...

 

Video of the new Mango

 

 

My boy is doing really well. Film quality is my crappy phone. Bottom line; he gets around well and comes to mama more often. Wins for me and he seems fine with it all. Another little Buddha, this one a three-legged. I'm so happy for all my gurus; they come in all sizes, colors, and temperments.   : )

 

Politics and The Law Of Attraction

I haven't been sure I could put these two concepts into the same sentence, much less balance them in my own heart. I have avoided seeing/looking at so much stuff because all I could see was the "pushing against" that is so hurtful and devisive. And it is certainly true that a HUGE percent of the energy expended, and wasted, by politicians (and ALL of us involved in 'keeping up' with them and the issues), is spent in the struggle-the fight against some one or some thing or some party.

And I find this true of almost every political person or subject that I have encountered. Until Now.

Here is my favorite voice of reason, bringing a new perspective, in a conversation with a politician.
Halleluiah! I hope this resonates with you; I'll enjoy your comments if you care to offer them. 
           (takes about 13 seconds to get going...)

 

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...reprise

 

Jim sent me this video today. It is just gorgeous; had to share it.

 

I added it also to my old post of Over the Rainbow renditions. If you love the song like I do, check 'em out again...right here.

I Dreamed a Dream

Two of my favorite singers!!!

 

Getting this up...commenting on it later...

There seems to be a glitch in the video at 16:38. Haven't resolved it; I read the remainder in the Transcript...

Introverts Unite!

Tongue-in-cheek, of course.  I usually mean, 'please leave me alone'.
But Susan Cain, in this TED video, has a few enlightening things to say about introverts, and some suggestions about how we can best contribute, and best be supported within our work/social/creative worlds. A very good 20 minutes I think.

 

Preparing For What You Want - from Abraham

I'm mostly saving this here for myself...
but you might like it, too.

It speaks to me of process - how I need to think and feel in my now.

 

 

Cape Cod ~ The Wedding

I feel like there should be a photo of me here, wiggling my eyebrows up & down like Groucho did... It hardly seems real, even now. I look at the photos and know I was there, but during that whole week I felt - different. Perhaps I'll figure some of it out - or how to express it - while posting this to share with you.

There will be LOTS of photos, and I hope I can share some of the joy, surprise, and actual wonder I felt.

Joel and I first talked about getting married a month or two before this trip. It was casual; no one fell to her knees with anything like a 'proposal'. After all, we've considered ourselves 'married' for over 18 years - since the Commitment Ceremony in Chicago. It just seemed 'cool' to us. Who knows, maybe the feds will decide to get with civil rights and grant us some legal rights before we croak. And wouldn't it be fun to be 'the first on our block'.

We're hardly the senior couple in terms of longevity among our friends, but none of the other couples have taken this particular plunge. Knowing us as I do, we probably will celebrate both anniversaries. We do like a good reason to eat out!

Two things surprised me, and one of them had begun to make itself felt even before we got to this 'wedding' thing. The first is the really deep sense of relaxation I was able to achieve in that lovely family setting in Cape Cod. The second is the vastly deep feelings I experienced during and because of the way that whole wedding thing went. I found that it - the ceremony, the clothes, the fashion show, the simple yet fancy 'style' that the whole week had - touched ancient fantasies I didn't even know were still important.

As for the first surprise: that comes mostly from Jane and her way of walking around in the world that is unique. Joel kept telling me to quit futzing; Jane had 'everything' and would give it all to us. I simply didn't believe her. And so I did my stuff around packing and worrying and list-making, etc.
Turns out Joel was right. Jane is thoughtful, generous, comfortable, relaxed and gracious. As an example, she gave us a guest room that was truly ready for guests! The closet was empty, except for beach shoes and bags that were bought for us. The chest of drawers held ONLY a pair of reading glasses and a DVD in case we couldn't sleep one night. The bedside tables had only flashlights in them! Crazy. And so welcoming.
There will be a few changes made around here to add some of that comfort for the next person who visits here, I can tell you.And that is just one example...

For the second surprise...I realized, when I relaxed into Jane's ideas for the ceremony, that I was - maybe - going to get that wedding I dreamed about when I was a kid. An actual wedding with music and a photographer and stuff. It's not at all that I had been missing something. As my life evolved, I stopped even wanting a wedding in any real sense. And later, I was happy to let our commitment ceremony in Chicago ('94) be that special day. All was perfectly fine.

I haven't been going thru any angst about what didn't happen all those years ago. But, last week, I began to feel like a bride in ways I hadn't in Chicago or in the ceremony we had the next week here in Ruidoso. In funny little ways hard to describe, I was experiencing these days with a very real and very deep joy. And in ways that made me think of that really little girl I used to be. Such a sweet realization.

Some of the joy came from knowing consciously that I had done all my 'work' well. I released one old dream ages ago when a new one came along in Joel.  And I found a new/old one unfolding around me in the nurturing way that everything came together thru Jane. It was very surprising. Makes me smile, even now. I let go of running the show, but kept true to what I wanted by expressing opinions and asking for things - like a bride should.

I realize, too, that I'm not explaining the feelings well at all. But then, I'm really the only one who must understand.

And, btw, the music included: (most links to to YouTube; we played from iTunes.)
As Long as You Love Me, cover by Michael Henry and Justin Robinette

I'll Still be Loving You, by Pam Rose.
This one is the original 'our song' from a million years ago...the Restless Heart version.

The Time of My Life, by the Glee Cast, but I LOVE the Original from 1st movie.

And there were instrumentals, too...forgotten which. Lovely things.

 

This first set of photos is pre-ceremony, some of them the afternoon before... setting the stage and getting dressed.                                                 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 It doesn't need another thing.

 

 

Jane is more than amazing. Without leaving the house, or ordering anything, she began to gather stuff together. What was just an empty (gorgeous) back yard one minute is transformed in the next. The tent was over the golf cart late Wednesday. By that evening, the cart was in the garage and the tent was in the back yard. Before you know it, the curtains off her bedroom doors are hanging in the corners of the tent. Everything went that way.

Then we have to get to fussin' with our own stuff:

 

Bearly's Best Man Boutinniere!
No, he doesn't like clothes, no matter the reason!

 

Isn't she lovely?!

 

 

 

well...half dressed so far.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, it's Time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awwwww....

Download Wedding Vows 

 

Yes, I will.

Happily, she did, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Hard to see in this picture is my 'engagement ring' that Joel slipped on at the end. It is a Giant Plastic Diamond! Fun and funny, and just like my Joie. And a touch that had to come from Jane.

 

 

We even had a wedding buffet; this lovely Key Lime Pie, Champagne Bellinis, petit Deli Sandwiches, and Purple Cabbage Slaw. Yum...

 

 

And a grand send-off!
Our wedding trip was to Provincetown...'nother post for that..

Cape Cod Catch-up #4 Bearly on the Beach

This is another multi-day catch-up...it's not that we're doing all that much; it's just that the computer loses out to so many more pleasant things. :)

 

This is about 2 minutes of Bearly's first day of real exploring on the beach here in Sandwich.
Yeah, I know...some things only really interest a mom. :)
It was cloudy and a little windy - all that we got of the storms that hit Boston and that area. Video was taken on Friday, the 20th. I only know that because the computer knows.

We stayed out a couple of hours or more and walked maybe a mile or more eastward down the beach. He seemed fascinated with all the smells; LOVED seaweed; and was not interested in getting wet. So much for the Life Jacket we brought.

Then, yesterday, Joel and I loaded up the golf cart, motored about 2 blocks out to the beach and spent the day. Even Bearly went for part of it. This was a sit still, enjoy the sun, an just veg out day. Wonderful.

Our home away from the home away from home! Yes, it's a bit like George Carlin's take on "my stuff".

Bearly soaking up rays!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was just a wonderful day. When we got there we were 3 among a few; when we left about 4:00 the beach was loaded with teens, 20 somethings, families and some of the cutest kids you ever saw.

Here is just one.  That was on Friday the 20th... who really knows if I have the dates right. I do have one more thing to tell you about though: the after-dinner-hour that night... But you'll just have to wait for it. We're off on a drive to see more sights.

missing chums w/ similar mindset...

Joel makes jokes these days that NM is the country's BBQ pit: because of the fires all over the state.
I like the joking. And certainly like it much better than all the fearful stuff that is showing up all over my FaceBook, email, and such.

And I don't really have much of a forum for what's rattling around in my mind, anymore. So, I'll put it here, where only a few ever read, and I might not tread on tender feelers...

Just got a FB invitation to a "Pray for Rain" event!... really?
Yes.
I come from "The Bible Belt" - geographically, historically, and spiritually...though I've moved on in every sense. I understand what they mean and I know that it's high-minded stuff to those believers and absolutely essential to their spiritual well-being...

I just don't think that there is an entity/spirit/? who answers prayers in the way that my family thinks. I believe that the Spiritual Center that guides my life is more interested in a happy appreciative heart. If I exist as a result of  - or a part of - a god, then it is so that I can be the senses for a non-physical entity who can not experience things on this physical planet in the way that I, as a physical being, can do. ..or as I, this specific physical being; because I don't experience things the way you do. All my filters are my own, as are yours.

And I believe that EVERYTHING is Spirit...a word I'll use here, for now.

The fires, too. To me, it's just Nature cleaning herself. I do it with showers and shampoo; She does it with powerful weather conditions and such. This video says a lot of the stuff I believe about conditions that seem like disasters to many:

 

The main thing that I take away from this, and similar avatars, is a much lighter heart. I'm much more joyful; much more accessible to my fiends; and drastically better connected to my Source - that Spirit.

And because I don't buy the life and death scenario, I'm much less fearful, too.
Life and Life is what I subscribe to.

And, no; I do not think that people set out to intentionally 'attract' disaster or other experiences seen as 'not good' to themselves - not even for the sake of the 'lessons' that may be there.
I do believe in a collective consciousness.
I do believe in a law of attraction (not to be confused with the stuff in The Secret).
I do believe that if many people in an area become overly fearful of anything, they spend time thinking/praying/talking about it, they add energy to the thing that they fear.

I do believe that our emotional center is that part of us that lets us know when we are connected to Spirit or to something else. If I feel fearful, I'm connected to fear, not Spirit, and will attract more fear and more fearful people; and with enough focus on that fear, I will eventually attract the thing that I fear; all while I surround myself with fearful people who support my fear.

For me, to pray, 'God please make it rain', is to be focused on the lack of rain. And as long as I am there with the lack, I cannot be where the rain is. Nor will I feel good.

As I understand it, the law of attraction says, 'that which is like unto itself is drawn'. I want to draw joy, love, happiness, confidence, love, abundance, love, generosity, love, peace...and much more of all of these.

Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts... 

...and so you don't have to look it up:
This video is of Esther Hicks who 'channels' a non-physical group of entities known as Abraham. Esther doesn't call it channeling, but it scarcely matters. Their web site is linked to the video if it interests you at all.

You may hear of her again here - or others who speak to me in ways that seem to draw me closer to Spirit.
I find that the part of me who wanted to marry a preacher back in high school, now wants to BE one, even though 'preaching' as such rarely feels good now that I know everything is well and nobody really needs it.

(I wonder if, after my croaking experience, I'll find out a real name for that Spirit. My guess is that it is all We.)

 

 

The Music Sanctuary

I have my own room now. I've mentioned it on FB, but I don't think I've shown you here...and it is spectacular! Here are some shots of it.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

(each is clickable for a larger view)

The first image will give you a general feel for the room. The chair is now a little farther back into the corner. I removed a closet door and replaced it with curtains to make space. The painting is one done by my Aunt Conny, and there is a piece of my step-Mom's crochet on the lamp. The window now has curtains, too; blue, of course. That black & brown unit under the guitars is a humidifier.

The second one is there to show you a sense of the 'sanctuary' part. I do my morning meditations and some Pilates in here, too.But the wall has changed. I lowered the little shelf unit and added a junk store treasure.

The third shot shows off that little treasure. The fourth shot is detail of the piano part.
Please notice the wonderful ribbon I found to hang it with; it's music staff ribbon with a real antique look. This room makes me smile; whether I'm in it or not is not relevant to the feeling.

And now, for your listening pleasure (or tolerance) is some more stuff. I'm still working on getting volume levels right.

This first one is Tradd and me playing Dust in the Wind, by Kansas:

Next is this one of me playing with Sting on Fields of Gold, by way of YouTube and the computer (which is one of the reasons there is a computer in the room).

 

And lastly, is a Reggae Improv with Tradd. Just learning different rhythms.

 

Thanks for listening (if you did). And thanks for all the great things some of you have said. I can NOT possibly tell you how much fun this is. I've begun playing some with a friend who sings sometimes at Karaoke. We used to have places with Open Mic Nights, but the last one closed up a few weeks ago. I guess I'll start holding some kind of jam sessions in the den now & then. Anyway, it is wonderful fun and closer to passion than I have been in years!

Are you ready for this!?!?!

Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the new ... uh..for the...  hmmm...

OK, nevermind that...  here's my YouTube debut.
You are among the privileged (very) few who are seeing this now.

This was recorded in my Music Sanctuary, after an afternoon of recording several things for Tradd Tidwell, my very accomplished teacher. You can see more of his videos here.

We didn't have anyone to frame it, and then I had to go turn it off...  our next one will be better.
AND Tradd is making noises like he might let me play with him at some local gig. ! !  WOW

...someday...  : )

An Important Message About Bullying

This is making the rounds of Facebook, so it is quite possible that you've seen it, already.

But it IS Very IMPORTANT, so a little repetition won't hurt - and the bullying does hurt. Help spread this around, please.

Can you spare a minute of your time?

I'm on another pet-job, and not spending much time online, but this is a good thing... 

Creative People: Geniuses or Mad Women/Men?

I recently read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend it, and I will keep it on the shelf forever. But that is a not the subject for today.

In the last few months I've discovered several bloggers new to me, and found that a surprising number of you are writers, poets, illustrators, gardeners, cooks, and other kinds of creative folk. You have become real blessings to me and often inspire laughter or tears, or provocative thought, and always wonder that we came together in this www. I've come to think differently, sometimes, about what I write here simply because you're out there. (in that regard I have some work to do in the 'get-over-myself' category.)  : )

First, thank you very much. I am somewhat different, and think and create more broadly because of you.

Secondly, I want to share this video with you. It is Elizabeth Gilbert speaking before a group at the TED Talks seminars.

I hope you enjoy it, as I did.
Smiles and blessings to each of you - now and always.

Harvard Medical School recommends Tai Chi...again.

Harvard University Medical School has just published a report on “The Health Benefits of Tai Chi” that calls Tai Chi “medication in motion.” Since Tai Chi is a subset of Qigong, all of this information applies to Qigong as well. It cites research for “No Pain, Big Gains” including improvements in muscle strength, flexibility, balance, and aerobic conditioning. Under the category “Tai Chi for Medical Conditions” it recommends Tai Chi as complementary therapy for arthritis, low bone density, breast cancer, heart disease, heart failure, hypertension, Parkinson’s disease, sleep problems, and stroke.

This article is written in plain English, not medical jargon.

And I can testify that these claims are true. I've been taking classes and practicing for about 5 years. We do the Yang form; my teacher trained under Grandmaster William C.C. Chen in New York, USA, and others. I was lucky enough to attend a weekend workshop with him in 2007 in Phoenix.

I love this class. I would say that my biggest gains from this would be in flexibility and balance, but I also see gains in lower body strength and Much less fear of falling. I have chronic spinal issues, and though it has not been 'officially' diagnosed, I suspect that arthritis is creeping into my hip joints. A few times through the form in the morning helps tremendously in getting past that morning stiffness. Also, my regular breathing is deeper and slower, and I am able to relax much more completely. Just the body awareness alone is worth the exercise. And I even walk a little differently now: more confidently and relaxed.

There are many ways to learn. The article referenced here even mentions books and video, but I would strongly recommend a real live teacher. If that is not available to you, then I suggest something like Lee Holden's DVD on QiGong for Seniors. We have this loaded into our home DVD player and also my laptop for when we travel.

I'm going to put a couple of YouTube links in this post, but there are nuances that you just won't catch all by yourself. And most of the videos I've found are showing people in positions that might be inappropriate for some individuals, or just slightly too low or stretched; and of course, they cannot take into consideration any of your physical issues in the way that a live teacher can. And in one of my favorite videos the teacher, Tiffany Chen, is performing a mirror-image version of the words she is speaking. You might want to watch this one with the sound off!

This video is of Grandmaster William Chen leading a repetition of the first few moves. (mirror image again)

There are literally tons of tai chi videos available on YouTube; some are good, some not, and in most cases, I just don't have the experience to comment. I have had only two teachers so far, and practiced only one style: Grandmaster W.C.C. Chen's version of the Yang form. Have fun if you go exploring.

 

The Lady and the Reaper

This one cracks me up on SO many levels!

Enjoy

Thanks for sharing, Ronni.

'Why' may be the most useLESS question ever asked

Declan Galbraith is a very good singer/songwriter, maybe a great one someday.
And it is certainly true that this is musically beautiful.

But in my opinion, the Why question may sound pertinent but only adds to the confusion and problems that we experience. The question implies an answer, for one thing. And even when there IS one, no answer to this question provides a change in the condition. Constantly screaming/asking/meditating/singing on a why question for any situation simply focuses one's mind on the problem.

Contrast this song (above) with Bette Midler's From a Distance.

Just consider the differences in these verses:

In my dream children sing a song of love for every boy and girl
The sky is blue and fields are green and laughter is the language of the world
Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need

Tell me why (why, why, does the tiger run)
Tell me why (why why do we shoot the gun)
Tell me why (why, why do we never learn)
Can someone tell us why we let the forest burn?

(Why, why do we say we care)
Tell me why (why, why do we stand and stare)
Tell me why (why, why do the dolphins cry)
Can some one tell us why we let the ocean die?
                              

    Then this.....

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
                                       

The differences I hear in these lyrics are HUGE. And reflect what I hear in the people around me everyday. We, the editorial we (I pray), simply do not (maybe can not) hear our own negativity. We fell in love with The Secret; we joined Oprah's group to discuss Eckhart Tolle, and for what? I don't know; I can't see any differences anywhere.

I'm running out of people to talk to. I'm hyper-sensitive these days to language and connotation and intent. The world seems to be on such a completely irreversible course straight to extinction. And I can't help but see that (extinction) as the perfectly natural and appropriate consequence of the decisions we have made.

Decisions about how we keep score and what we value are critical to every aspect of our lives. And yet, we seem not to get that connection between those things and the conditions we see around us everyday. We bemoan our educational system without realizing that it suffers because we prefer to reward football players and actors much more than teachers. Many of us suffer and even die because we value drug companies and specialists more than nature and life-style changes. We invest billions in drug companies and gurus to keep us living longer on a planet that we KNOW is dying from overpopulation and disregard. We created a political system that enforces and guarantees a gulf between We the People and those who claim to represent us. And then we watch them argue for power among themselves while they claim to serve.

Here's a 'why' question for you: Why would any rational conscious person on this planet want to live one single second longer than absolutely necessary?

I don't get it. I don't get why there are still starving people in African deserts. Or anywhere else for that matter. We don't have to step back to any great distance to know that many people throw away more food than some villages ever see. We KNOW, if we look, that today's bag of rice is feeding the great-great grandchildren of the same people we sent a bag of rice to yesterday.

Duh!?

My friend, Nancy, and I speak a similar language. She thinks I need to get out more...out of town, that is. This is a  touristy little berg in the boonies of southern New Mexico, full of realtors and retirees and is extremely conservative and fundamental. I suspect she may be right; my horizons here are WAY too narrow.

Perhaps I'm just dancing with my dark side. It's true that my thinking can be a bit compulsive. 

In any case, I've been working on this draft for 3 days and that is more than enough time to spend of something I can effect only in my own heart. Nancy & I are planning a day trip to the Bosque; just we and about a gazillion feathered friends. Undoubtedly, they can blow away these current winds of ...whatever this is...this absence of god...this futility that I feel.

Thankfully, none of those things I decry are real.
It's just me & my mind wallowing in the trough of disconnection. It's a temporary aberration.

I'll be back. 

Spiritual Moments

I found this video posted on Ronni Bennett's site this morning. It reminded me to look around me a little differently for the various small blessings that cross my path every day. I thought you might enjoy it, too.

Hypatia: Greek Philosopher & Mathematician AND a Woman

Thanks, Cindy, for sharing these links and introducing me to Hypatia. I really hope we'll be able to see the movie.

The first video here is an overview of her life.

This one is a trailer for a new film starring Rachael Weisz as Hypatia. Makers are looking for a US sponsor for the film; I surely hope they find one!

Inspiration v. Marketing...Inspiration & Marketing

This is a lovely video about Nature and her inspiring qualities.

Be ready for the major marketing campaign should you click on anything that comes on your screen after the movie plays.

I don't know the answer (yet) to this current quandary of mine. Perhaps you have opinions that might enlighten me.

HMHC is in the middle of Peace Village - a day camp for young kids that includes a segment on media literacy. I'm wondering who's teaching that subject to the rest of us. And I wonder about the 'real' value of films such as the one linked above when its primary function seems to be about selling books and other products.

Do I need a book on Nature, or do I need to go outside?
I'm feeling a little schizo about this already. I love inspirational books, picture books, things that inspire, and I spend money on them.
Someone takes the photos, finds the quotes, publishes...and all the tons of chores attached to producing the book, the video, the ad campaign.
Hell, I'm even filing a bunch of my own photos under the heading of 'the book project'.

And yet, I'm bothered by....this?
        maybe not...
I guess it's mostly the constant barrage of advertising that comes our way on a minute by minute basis. I believe myself to be at least somewhat literate about such media and I still can be caught in the net. I love HGTV, too. And the shows are becoming increasingly about things to sell.

...
OK.
Enough for now. I'll be better off in this moment to go outside. I don't know the answer; don't really need to know the answer. For my inspiration just now, I'll go outside.  You go, too. Your back yard is far enough, though the world awaits.
:)

Just one more for today ~ another feel-good post

Today is the 15th anniversary of my wedding to Joel. Hooray for us. Here's "our song"...

I love you, baby girl.
Thanks for hanging in there and being such a great teacher.
What a trip we're on...   :)

The Boyle Phenomenon: a rant in two parts

Why was it somehow ok to laugh at her before she sang but not after she sang?

 

I’ve been reading again; always a dangerous activity for me. My brain can run in circles and I’ve heard more than once that I just “take it all too seriously”… mountains out of molehills, that’s me. While most seem to be wondering or ranting about banks, government, politics, etc., I wonder about where civility has gone. Is it really surprising that we are here, in these times & circumstances, when we no longer value things like honesty, respect for others, courage, taking responsibility, & personal integrity?

Yes, I loved the video(s) of Susan Boyle. Like many of you, I’ve searched for her on the ‘net, listened to the song a dozen times or more, looked up Elaine Paige, and tracked downs interviews with Susan, Piers, and Amanda…
(there are more than 11,000 links to videos of SB on YouTube as of this writing, midnight 4-22-09)

Here is an article I found referenced in the comments section at Time Goes By in a post called Celebrating Old Old Age. An excerpt from the article says,

“The YouTube clip of Susan's angel voice soaring from the unkissed mouth of that scrunchy-faced, eyebrow-enforested, unprepossessingly dumpy representative of anonymous humanity was the third irresistible message to us all to get over ourselves.”

I do so completely agree with the last 4 words.

Piers Morgan, a BGT judge said in the videos,

“…Without a doubt that is the biggest surprise I’ve experienced in the three years of this show. …I’m reeling with shock…everyone was laughing at you; no one is laughing now.”

Amanda Holden, another of the BGT judges, said, “…everybody was against you…”, and called it “the biggest wake-up call ever.”

And well it should be.

But is it, really, quite the wake-up call we need? I say no.

In every reference to Susan that I have found, the wake-up call seems to be about judging books by their covers. Ok. There’s nothing really wrong with that; it's a great lesson.
But the lesson I would rather see learned is the one about respect for a human being – any human being – and every human being.  

So I repeat: Why was it somehow ok to laugh at her before she sang but not after she sang?
Susan is herself and came to the competition AS herself, with a tremendous amount of courage, because she had a dream to ‘sing before a large crowd of people’.

What was the relevance of SCowell’s question about her age in a competition with no age requirements? And the eye-rolling & laughter that went on when she answered, “47”…
Given the wide acceptance of rude and offensive behavior in the world today, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but can we really just laugh out loud in someone’s face?

Clearly so.

And then we apologize, and express that hearing her sing “was a privilege”. And all is well; we’ve learned our lesson; let’s get on with things; Susan will be a star and make records…blah, blah, blah.

And what of the woman who lives next door to Susan – or to me – who looks just like her; who does her own hair and sees no need to be or look different than she is; and whose talent is only creating a warm and comfortable home, or, as Susan did before we all discovered her, working for charities, or caring for aging parents?

We don’t applaud those talents very often. So do we just get to keep laughing?

The TGB article is related, though the focus is somewhat different. It comments, in part, on the evident shock that many feel when they learn that an old person can actually DO things, like cooking or driving or working, for heaven’s sake. As if they haven’t been doing that for some several decades already!

Here’s a short excerpt:

“The discomfort, I have come to see, is due to how such a statement diminishes the person. It negates and demeans an entire life, as though the fact that she works at age 100, and not the work she does, is the most important thing about her.”

(Do follow the link to the article, and read the comments, too. There is real meat there, and links to the story of a remarkable woman.)

How is it that we expect a different kind of behavior from our leaders today, in business, politics, government, etc. when we’ve all played our own parts in creating the culture we have? As long as the quantity of one’s possessions is more important than the quality of one’s own integrity, we will continue to live with the Madoff’s of this world. There ARE other voices out there besides the ones who rant & complain. They are just harder to find. One great one can be found here at No Safe Distance.

So when we see a Susan Boyle, and are pleasantly surprised by a rich & beautiful voice, we cry, and feel inspired…for a moment; and never think of the real life of that other woman who flips hamburgers or turns down the bed in our next hotel room, or is old.

And I’ll bet that our own American Idol would not be the raging success that it is if the audience couldn’t do their share of booing and laughing at ___. Why, even the first few episodes of each season are designed to show us the most ‘laughable’ of the contestants. I know two people who only watch those first episodes. It is of no interest to them who might win; they just want to laugh at someone. And if you think I might be exaggerating, go read the comment streams under some of those videos. But don’t read many of them; they are poisonous, symptomatic of our cultural & social ills and very contagious.

Pet & House Sitting is verrrry interesting

This is my first one. Just a one-nighter. I've got one coming up in May that is 3 1/2 weeks long! Yikes!

So here's the deal: One must figure out the stuff one needs to bring along. The pets are no problem; the house is no problem. Here's the problem:

New Lyrics to a great old song.

Joel & I rewrote the lyrics to You Are My Sunshine, shortly after we were married. We're hitting 15 years next week! Yea Us!!

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll always know, dear, how much I love you,
And our sunshine is here to stay.

I was going to post a YouTube video or two, but the real lyrics are SOOOO sad...

Forget your troubles, come on, get Happy!
We're gonna chase all the Blues away.

A Model for Aging Well

Can you imagine a political figure with a 92% approval rating? AFTER she's been in office...for THIRTY-ONE years?!

Can you imagine playing hockey at 88 yrs? Why the hell not?!
Check out Hazel McCallion. What an inspiration! Enjoy!



I think I'll play this everyday.

Aging Well ~ the Quest

Somehow this morning (cosmically led, perhaps?), I came upon this old post of Ronni Bennett's from several years ago. Her post is about May-December romances. Mine is other...

I was struck by this excerpt:

"Carolyn Heilbrun, in her book, Writing a Woman’s Life, acknowledges the well-known invisibility that envelops most women at middle age, but she goes on in a manner I find encouraging:

“We will move invisibly for a time, to relearn seeing and to forget being seen. As we grow slowly visible, we will be heard more and seen less. Our voices will ramify, our bodies will become a house for our new spirit.”.

And there are younger men who find that spirit more attractive than mere youth.

I'm particularly struck by the phrase, "to relearn seeing and to forget being seen". I have spent so much of my life aware of, concerned about, and afraid of what others think of me that, at times, I've been almost paralyzed. (Wonderful to have moved from that place!)

"To relearn seeing"    
When I was living that fear, what was I seeing? What do I need to relearn? I think it is not so much a re-learning process as it is a new learning process. I thought I was seeing - looking at - but, I was really only seeing myself, and so concerned with 'what' people saw when they looked at me that I could give no thought at all for the 'who' they might have seen. And the 'who' - the real me - was invisible, largely because I was so outwardly focused.

As I'm aging, (thank you, god) the rest of that quote is becoming true. Again, Thank God.
I am becoming more visible - to myself - than I have ever been. I'm more clear on the 'who' that I am, more brave, and my body is becoming the "house for my spirit".

I had to look up ramified, and I find that that is true for me, too. I am more complex; and my spirit, my interests, indeed, my own voice are multifaceted and much more powerful.

"To forget being seen"
In some ways, this seemed easier for me for many years. What that ease turned out to be was, at first, just an amazing ability to avoid mirrors. It started with cameras and other people's photos of me. I just got tired of that coy, "oh, no, my hair looks terrible" type of BS and came to realize that I would never have to look at them; could forget that they existed. What a relief it was to say, 'Sure, go ahead". and just smile.  

Now, I can consider the thought that I am truly blind if I am too much concerned with 'being seen'. I don't really see other people, or the truth of a situation if I am concerned with how I look or what others think.

Now, I know that looking in is for my meditation or prayer. I can forget that anyone is looking. My years and my path have brought a perspective that we only gain by growing older. With a bit of open-mindedness I might even be(come) wise. As for being seen; the only opinion that really matters is my own. I'm concerned with how closely I stand by my values. When I remember these things, I am in great shape: happy, content, integrous.

"Heard more, seen less"
I can't say that I am seen less. What do I know of what another really sees? I do know that I care less. And this blog attests to the fact that I have stuff to say. Do you hear me?   :)
Guess what...even that matters less to me, and ultimately matters not at all.

It seems a bit curious to me.
As I age, I seem to look inward much more in some respects (usually related to self-knowledge), and to become more self-centered. I think it is in some relationship to my interest in dying well. I'll continue that exploration the rest of my life, I suppose. And I can see that I also see others much better, or with thinner blinders. Perspective again, I'm sure.

As Bette says, "From a distance..."

Ring finger: why that one?

Winter Solstice Wishes w/Melissa Etheridge & Salman Ahmad

Today is the Solstice. Noon is less than hour away, here. Meet me outside with your bells! 

Wisdom

I found this in Ronni Bennett's sidebar today, and wanted to link it here, also. THANKS, Ronni!
This is a great video - short quotes by various famous folk about what Wisdom means to them. It will reside in my left sidebar as well for awhile. Hope you enjoy this... 

TED Talks: David Holt & Mountain Music

Wait until you see/hear the mouth bow...and stay tuned until the very end to see Thunderwear! Video is about 25 minutes and worth it all.  ENJOY! He's got a dobro, too, Bill.

The AMAZING Dance Troup: Pilobolus

Just can't get over what this group of young people can do. If you like this, head to YouTube and just search their name, Pilobolus; there are pages and pages of videos of this group.

O.M.G.
Two Pilobolus dancers at TED Talks, summer of 2007. This one is almost 15 minutes and oh, so good.

Who Am I?

Please go look at this video. Takes about18 minutes. This link is from a TED Talks conference - not likely the first place Ms. Taylor presented it, but certainly a great site.

Whether you vote for scientific research, prefer direct/indirect  revelations from one avatar or another, or prefer believable human testimony I think you can not remain untouched by this speech.

Here's the YouTube version:

Or go search Jill Bolte Tayor in your favorite 'engine' to see the tons of people/places who are interviewing, blogging, and otherwise sharing this amazing commentary by an amazing, awakened scientist.

Thanks to Laura for bringing it to my radar; Thanks to Kristie for resending the link and adding her own insightful comments. (I'm waiting for permission to quote her here.)
Kristie has replied with permission, so here are her thoughtful comments:

"As an energy facilitator and teacher, what I came away with after viewing this was that Jill will be another person who will be very instrumental in helping many to open to the possibilities that they too can tune into remembering more of who they are by firing up the right hemisphere.  What can be termed rapture or ascension, is just that.... shifting into higher frequencies and experiencing oneself as an energy being.  I'm glad I did not have to go through a stroke to experience it this way!  I commend Jill on getting out there and telling her story.  Once the right hemisphere is brought more on line and then balanced with the left, this seems to me then the human will be living Heaven on Earth, or living the consciousness of, "I'm in this world, but not of it."  :-)  Peace on Earth ............ahhhh  what a concept!"

And when you're done with the video, go explore TED Talks. I didn't know it existed until today.