KateThoughts

I SO wanted to post this to Facebook!! really!

but I won't.

I’m confused by words, again.

I’ve been reading in an effort to understand the connection between evangelical Christians and Trump.

I started by looking up definitions in a few different dictionaries.
I read an article by NPR here, and this one from Christianity.com here.  Here’s Wikipedia’s take on evangelism.

They all agree with my early religious education in describing evangelism as being all about spreading the Gospel and the story of Jesus. The message of Jesus, and indeed most of the New Testament is about love and caring for each other.

Who, What, Why are there so many angry Trumpers among those claiming to be Christian?
Here is an article on the text of Matthew 25:31–46
Where is love among them?
Where is charity among them?
What about helping those who are suffering? 
Where are the loaves and fishes?
How do they overlook Trump’s behavior, his treatment of women, of the disabled, of POC, of Rich v Poor?

Based on my own Christian education, these articles & others, and the words of Christian Trumpers there IS NO connection.
If you feel otherwise, I invite discussion. I confess, I expect only pushback.

In full disclosure, I no longer identify as Christian.
I identify as a human who wants to be morally conscious and generally accepting and loving.

https://www.npr.org/2020/11/08/932263516/2020-faith-vote-reflects-2016-patterns

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-is-evangelism.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evangelism

https://dmsbcatholic.com/catholic-faith/what-is-the-core-message-of-christianity

 

I need this link to be here, even though I found it after posting my article here.
American Christianity and white Supremacy
https://www.npr.org/2020/07/30/896712611/american-christianity-must-reckon-with-legacy-of-white-supremacy-author-says 

 

 

 

December 26, 2020

Six days left in this year - 2020.  

Jess and I spent yesterday together. It was Great! Our time was about being together, though and only incidentally about Christmas.
I'm going to miss her something fierce!! She leaves on the 29th. She's in a transition period, too. Questioning her profession and her motivations; taking online classes; and contemplating 3 months living with FOO (family of origin) in Texas while she does the online work. 
We had such a good talk... hours worth. If I could have special ordered a daughter from the cosmos, she is it.

What prompted me to open this post today is a sentence I read in HCR's (Heather Cox Richardson) newsletter today.
"A reminder, if anything can help in these dark times, that Christmas marks the time when the light starts to come back." 

I've joked for years that Dec. 22nd is the first day of Spring because the days start getting longer and the daylight lasts longer. 
But in HCR's sentence today, I heard many more levels of thought about what constitutes the 'light'. Brilliant!
(LOL, light and brilliance! Illumination everywhere!!)

This whole year for me has been enlightening.   :)       
In late January I had a guided 'shrooms experience that was less than I expected (!), but that triggered some definite somethings! 
I had just started working with a therapist - largely because I wanted to be able to talk about the 'trip'. I didn't find him until the week before, but he turned out to be a good choice. (I furloughed him in late November.)

In February my sibs and I sold the family farm. Lots of reasons having to do (mostly) with our aging and Susan's
unwillingness to manage it all for the next generation. 
The timing of that sale was absolutely perfect; we closed on February 28th. As of that date, I had heard about Covid, I think, but without huge concern. The closing had been postponed once or twice, and I remember a feeling of urgency in getting that done.
But I'm not sure of the timing, really.
The results of that sale made it possible for me to pay off my mortgage, and clear the last of the credit card debt. 
THAT was the act/miracle that made it financially possible for me to ride out the pandemic, since the revenues that had come from my royalties dropped drastically and have still not recovered much. 

And then came March...with Ides! Now ides, really, is just the 15th. Every month has one.

If you've forgotten why the phrase, "Beware the Ides of March" is familiar to you, see Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.
Our Brutus this year has been Covid, almost unimaginably abetted by our very own President & Congress.
If you are interested in a very good overview of this whole year, and more, I refer you to HCR's "Letters From an American".  

By May or June I had changed the therapist from bi-monthly to monthly.
(BTW, he works by phone and is very good: Dr. Ken Kenney; you can find him online.)       

Ken asked me a question this summer that was a Super Trigger for accessing new insights.
He asked, "In what ways have you been complicit in fostering/maintaining the sense that you are worthless?" 
That's really more of a paraphrase. But you get the point, I'm sure.

So did I.
"in what ways..." Not Why.

I admit that one of my first thoughts was, 'F%ck! So it really IS my fault'. Symptomatic? yes...
And when I have countless hours with little distraction expect social media...
(I wonder what makes anyone think that online anything is really Social). 
The answers are/were myriad and one or two came to mind immediately.
The internal work I did from that, has been transforming!
Because my kind of mental illness was imposed upon me, not genetically created or informed by gross abuse.
I drank the kool-aid willingly and often eagerly. And even imposed the same thoughts into the minds of other people before I knew better.

I've had a Lot of therapists in my life. Most of them were good, a couple were Excellent, and one or two did more damage than help.
Whatever...  I got here. "Here" is a very good place, now.   :)
Suffice it to say that I had a very strong Snail Slime attitude about who and what I was. Unattractive, not smart, ugly and fat. Well...fat is relative. it's the inner dialogue about the fat that shows the damage, and with work can effect the change.

I'm not going into any sort of detail here. A few reasons:
1. Most of you have seen the behavior that resulted from my less-well thoughts.
2. Blame solves nothing.
3. One can not parent better than they know.
4. Everyone in my life - Every One - intended good to me. (Insert here your own thoughts about "good Intentions".)
5. This attitude/affliction (imo) effects maybe 70% of Westerners, and about 85-90% of Americans.
6. Religion should be classed and a schedule 1 narcotic and rated X.  And not just my own cradle religion.

Yes. I'm still knee-jerking a bit over religion.

In most other areas of my mental/psychological life, I am truly content.
I've learned that I love Social Events, such as our Karaoke nights (of old). But mostly, I enjoy solitude.
I know that there is NO such thing as a negative emotion.
They are responses to stuff and should be accepted as true and honored, felt, and sometimes examined.

I noticed just yesterday that All of the dogs I know Like Me! And I think most dogs aren't fond of snail slime.  LOL!!

So, good day to you.
May your new year bring love, enlightenment, companionship, and peace to your hearts. <3

 

 

                                       

                                   

 

                                

A shift in language? Drafted in September; forgotten till now...

"Solidarity With Women's Struggles All Over the World"

" Join me and Help Fight Plastic Pollution!"

"...who lost his battle with  x disease on ..."

I'm fighting traffic; chasing a dream; struggling with x;

"War on Drugs; Poverty;

 

So, now that I'm looking for them, I find no appropriate quotes, but my point is about all the battle/fighting language that is rampant in the American culture now. Maybe Western culture, but I sorta blame that on us, so...

I mean, i DO have a vague conspiracy theory that the global 1%  are blissfully happy that their plans to own the planet are going so well..., but
I can't effect the global stuff.  I'm not really interested in the daily minutiae of details that pass for news because it is all spoken in that same battle language.

That's just Us & Them talk to me. And I don't really get why it is not obviously so to more people.
Us & Them = Divisive = Taking/Choosing Sides = Anger = Intolerance = Violence = War & Destruction

Could we be Earthlings?    or Humans?   or as Joel would have had it: Hooman Beans?

Back to my point:
I believe that our thoughts & words have energy in the same way that our bodies do.

 

 

Very cool little stories..not so simple...

"My father he always say that the oil is already inside the student, already there from all time. The teacher only has a match and makes it light, and then the student isn’t a student anymore, just a friend, going the same way down the dark road but seeing now by himself.”

 “You have to believe your own oil is there, though, or nobody can lights it.”

 

"The point of it was: Don’t make your own life in reaction to others. So maybe the whole trick of the spiritual search was “To thine own self be true.” Maybe the real work was just scraping off layer upon layer of conditioning, assumption, and imitation, and finding, somewhere in the depths, your actual face. Maybe that’s what Rinpoche meant by “you understand you’re not you.”

 

"he kept telling me how brave I’d been to go first, how he might have gone only on the child’s slide if I hadn’t been there, how he might not have gone down a second time after seeing how fast we went on the first. And so on. He had conquered, in a small way, his supposed fear of “high.” But I suspected then, and I suspect to this day, that it was all a trick. By the second run on the faster slide I realized that the proper technique involved a complete letting go, an abandoning of oneself to the fates, the skill of the waterslide engineers, and the conscientiousness of the county inspectors. A mindless, illogical trust. Was there no spirchal lesson there?"

 

 

all ― from "Lunch with Buddha"  by Roland Merullo

 

I'm on Breakfast with Buddha, now, and will follow that with Dinner with...

 

All fiction of the 'spirchal' sort, my kind of reading material.

And I'm using Insight Timer now, some, too...   but, as with other pet-jobs, I tend to veg on TV and too much food when I'm in someone else's house..

 

Merullo writes with wonderful skill and uses language in ways that delight me. That's a large part of the attraction in these little books.

I don't claim to be Christian, as he is, but he doesn't make those tenets the point of his stories. 

Politics and The Law Of Attraction

I haven't been sure I could put these two concepts into the same sentence, much less balance them in my own heart. I have avoided seeing/looking at so much stuff because all I could see was the "pushing against" that is so hurtful and devisive. And it is certainly true that a HUGE percent of the energy expended, and wasted, by politicians (and ALL of us involved in 'keeping up' with them and the issues), is spent in the struggle-the fight against some one or some thing or some party.

And I find this true of almost every political person or subject that I have encountered. Until Now.

Here is my favorite voice of reason, bringing a new perspective, in a conversation with a politician.
Halleluiah! I hope this resonates with you; I'll enjoy your comments if you care to offer them. 
           (takes about 13 seconds to get going...)

 

Catching Up with 'fates', 'what-ifs', 'as-it-is', etc....and why I've been gone...

I've been off this site a few days playing with my guitar - and I mean that in every fun way possible. Such wonderful play. For those who don't know yet, I am learning/re-learning to play bass; this time an acoustic one that also accepts an amplifier...for my future concerts, I suppose!   : )

I call it a chass, though, (pronounced chase, to rhyme) because I had a cello foot added to it. The bass is BIG and it was tricky to hold in front of my buddha belly, and because my wrists are happier this way, too. And because it's quirky and different.

Here it is in all its glory:

You can see the foot in its retracted position.

I've just fallen in love with it. Years ago - almost 30! - I played an electric bass with a local (and very bad) bluegrass band who mostly played for fun at each others' parties. That was usually a two-note oompa kind of thing. Took very little skill and was much fun, too, though not the same fun I'm having now.

This time, I'm really learning, starting (and continuing) with scales and various exercises and working with a great teacher once a week. Most of his students are 6-string players, as is he, so I'm learning bass parts to things from their repertoires in preparation for a' recital' at a local tavern. I use the term recital very loosely here.

And I learned "When I'm 64" by the Beatles". I had to work quickly on that; I have only one more year before I'm too old to sing it - or have to change the number. How about 'When I'm 94'?! Just now, I'm polishing up Blackbird also by the Beatles.

***********************

But, back to the point of this post.

The oldest post in this particular stream is "...What-ifs". In that one I began to touch on some of the ideas I'm exploring and implementing in my life right now. Some of the comments on that post inspired the next one: "Continuing ..." and really dealt with semantics and perhaps a tiny bit of expansion of the ideas expressed before. More comments and some great support on that post then prompted "IF the fates...", and in a comment there Ruth asked about my background and a bit of the story of how I came to think like this.

First, let me say that conversation like this is the true beauty and glory of blogging and why I may never stop it. Yes, there is some ego stroking involved; but even more than that, the comments make me think and require that I be as clear as possible.

I gave Ruth some very brief answers in an email, but I will expand here a little more.

But I want to acknowledge my reticence about all of this, especially the discussing of it in this more or less public format. You'll understand that when I tell you that I grew up in a middle class family in Texas, the oldest child of a divorced woman in an era when that was rare. We were fundamental evangelical Christians before those terms were widely applied to us, and I was completely immersed in the Church; to the extent that I taught Sunday School and participated in one 'foreign' mission just after high school. That mission was to Liverpool, England and was the beginning of my questioning. A year after that, I went to a Christian college. Interestingly enough I began to explore freedom there. Another whole story, and not for right now.  

To this day, most of my biological family still hold those beliefs and are very active in their participation. Some are quite likely to consider that I have fallen away from the church and are likely to consider that I am some major sinner. But then, by their lights, we are all sinners and only have a possibility of being anything else by virtue of Jesus's sacrifice.  (I could riff off on that topic, too, but won't do so here and now.)

My family is wonderful. They are loving and generous. They just think I'm wrong. They hope I will 'come back' to the fold.
It threw a few of them for a loop when I realized I was gay, and married my wife over 16 years ago. But they are nothing, if not civil. They treat us well, love us as they can, and never turn a cold shoulder. I am very proud of my heritage. I just don't agree with them. In my family this kind of difference of opinion seems to close conversation rather than opening one.

Most of them, I think, do not know of this blog. I do know that in the past, my sister has read this. She never comments on it, and only once sent an email to me about some particular post, and that was to reach out and reassure me during a period of the glooms in my life.
I would not willingly hurt them, though I know that I have done so in the past, and that some may feel hurt by what they think about my current religious condition.

Wow, that was a much longer ramble than I intended, but I will leave it. Susan, if you're reading...well, I love you. Comment or email if you will.

Over the next forty years I explored several traditional religions, was an active Episcopalian for a number of years, was introduced to New Age thought, rejected it, came back, learned a lot about myself through various therapies including a 12-step program and several psychologists. I'm still learning. I knew, and know, a lot about what I 'should' be and do, and for decades I KNEW that I was not worthy of ...much of anything. I have always felt a very strong pull toward god, and would have joined a convent if I could have. These days I would still join one, if it weren't Christian. A contemplative life would suit me very well. (Though, I suppose that The Singing Nun has already been done.)

The thoughts and ideas that work for me now are the ones that I have found to be consistent across all of the religions/spiritual ideas that I have explored: those ideas that I am a piece of God; that I can co-create my life and its conditions by my thoughts, intentions, and energy; that I am not separate from - or different from - god, or you, or the air, or that rock over there. And most especially, right now, the idea that my thoughts, words, and actions do in fact manifest in my life constantly and consistently when I align my vibrational energy to that Stream of energy we often call God. (But could as easily and accurately call Source, Divine Mind, Cosmic Consciousness or ...whatever.)

Right now, the voice speaking to me most clearly is that of Abraham, a group of non-physical beings who speak through a woman named Esther Hicks.

There is a daily quote that appears in the top left sidebar that comes from their website and they are all over the place. Many people post their material; Esther is the one in the black pantsuit. The material is Law of Attraction. It is NOT 'The Secret'. The material from the book/DVD known as The Secret turned me off completely for several reasons. Though Esther and Jerry Hicks were part of the original film, they withdrew when circumstances of the agreements changed. If you are interested in that, you can hear Esther and Jerry comment here. I think that this may be some of the deleted scenes to which they refer. There are many postings to YouTube, including those who want to judge this material as being 'of the devil'...whatever that may mean.

Some people call what happens with Esther 'channeling'. She does not. Nor do I have an opinion about that. I don't care what it is. For me, what it is is Truth. It gives me goosebumps and makes me joyful in ways that my family church did not. It is eliminating my need to judge others, and beginning to relieve many stresses in my life. It's working for me. That is all that really matters to me. I feel closer to god - all the time. And I don't really care whether it resonates for you or not. I believe that each individual is quite capable of choosing their own spiritual path and that none of them are wrong. Most importantly to me, this current path is allowing me to deal with self-esteem issues that have endured for decades. I feel now that I am actually worthy of a complete and close relationship with that energy commonly called God. I don't know her/his/its name (though I'd still like to know). I don't use the God word usually because so many make assumptions about what I mean. And I no longer consider myself a Christian. I'm just me. One with all things.

You know...this has gone on much longer than I intended, and in looking for these links for you, I find I want to take a break and listen to Abraham some more. They are right here ....

see you later.

eeeekkk..... will I leave the Facebook button checked?...........what a coward I have remained...

Continuing the "Fates" conversation.

Ursula, the words that work for me may not be the ones that work for you. Even English words won't mean the same for women who are native speakers of two different languages. Then when you add on the variances of dialect, or education, or colloquialisms you sink in a murky pool of who knows what.

In my mind 'accept' or 'acceptance' can have an element of judgment such as is implied here:
"2 : to give admittance or approval to <accept her as one of the group>"

or it carries a negative emotion for me as in this:
"a : to endure without protest or reaction <accept poor living conditions> b : to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable <the idea is widely accepted>"

On the other hand, to allow seems to connote more freedom:

1.

to give permission to or for; permit: to allow a student to be absent; No swimming allowed.

2.

to let have; give as one's share; grant as one's right: to allow a person $100 for expenses.

3.

to permit by neglect, oversight, or the like: to allow a door to remain open.

4.

to admit; acknowledge; concede: to allow a claim.

5.

to take into consideration, as by adding or subtracting; set apart: to allow an hour for changing trains.

(I was happy to note that I understand these words in ways that match up with the dictionary.) : )

The other place, Ursula, where I take a different route is that I believe that no circumstance in the world 'out there' needs changing.
(I feel as if I am sticking my neck out here, but ...
writing it may help it all come clearer for me, too.)

I think that all these circumstances that so many of us think need changing, would completely disappear if we took all of our attention away from them. That's how I understand the bottom line of my present spiritual position. The ONLY things that I can change are the circumstances of my own life in my own space, relationships, economics, etc.

And the best way to change a circumstance in my life that I do not want is to turn my attention away from that, and create what I DO want by consciously intending/creating that picture and then allowing it to come to me - because Source has already said Yes. I just need to get in the right river. In the flow ... 

no more....more rumination needed...or maybe just some Rumi.   :)

A rambling game of "What If"

When I fell into retirement eight years ago (age 58), I didn’t know that it was happening. I thought I was taking some time off to finish some schooling and then begin a new career. The time from then to now has been a bit of a ramble: fits and starts, exploration and insploration, all of it interesting, some of it hard, all of it …transformative.

If, or when, I thought about retirement at all, it was first a desire to escape the corporate madness and then to go more slooowwwwwly.

Now I find there are not enough hours in the day for all I’m drawn to do. Sometimes I follow where my impulses lead me; sometimes I stick to the game plan. And now I’m coming to like both, judge neither, and be wherever I am in the moment.

This morning, I was wandering some blogs I read regularly and came across this post at Synch-ro-ni-zing that made me think. Ruth often does. She doesn’t know me yet, because I’ve been lurking there and haven’t commented yet. She mentioned another blog post that I fully intended to go read…but when I found a comment from the writer in question I was compelled to click over to her post immediately. Lovely You writes at The Good In You. So now I’m lurking in the background of two blogs fairly new to me and find that I am now compelled to work on some thoughts I’ve been having for awhile now…

First: Thanks Ruth and Lovely You for today’s inspiration; for the crystal clarity of your written words; and for the beauty of those parts you allow us to see.

So, on to the game of What If.

My journey has brought me to this place today where I consider that All Is Well. I consider that the thought might be actually and literally true.
The trail to that conclusion goes something like this:

·        What if there really is only one god? An energy that pervades and is all, and is in me, too? (and in you, and in that rock, and in weather, etc…)?

·        What if God is good – only good? And those things that look bad to me are only indications of a separation from that energy – and not really real, since god is everything and All is Well?

·        What if the circumstances a/o events in the world that seem not good, are only illusions manifested as contrast so that I can learn from them about how to stay connected to the only one good god?

·        What if it is true that thoughts and words and focus have energy of their own?

·        What if those things to which I give my attention get bigger or more intense?

·        What if I can change my personal world by where, how, and upon what I focus my attention and my intention?

·        What if the collective we can change the entire physical world by where, how, and upon what we focus our attention and our intention?

And here are a few observations about the world ‘as it is’.
We are being fed a completely disproportionate amount of bad news thru various media: TV news and pharmaceutical and insurance ads, preachers, peers, etc. Where are the stories of the everyday lives and loves of US?  We are being led strongly into fear by these same groups who want to sell us things, or save us; who want us to feel powerless to change anything without relying on them or their products.
In my little world, my own experimentation has proven to me that I can affect the quality of my life by shifting my focus to the positive; and by seeing all people and things and circumstances as they really exist in the mind of god - as perfect.

By creating and holding this vision, I do transform myself and my environment. It seems a clear and compelling vision that can, and does, really impact the whole planet.  And to see the world ‘as it is’ in the news, for example, is to add to the energy that maintains the suffering we think is real.

For example: (and I wouldn’t, in other circumstance than this blog, even bring up this subject)
The Gulf oil spill. I am not able to go there and walk the beaches and actually make physical changes in what is happening there. Nor do I have the energy to stay here and collect hair or hay and send it for the reclamation efforts.
For me to then hold it in my mind, and brood on it, or see it as disaster, or feel grief, or lament out loud about the whys and wherefores only serves to feed more energy into the thing itself. To listen to the countless hours of such lamenting on ‘news’ programs does the same thing.

I think it is my purpose to see a bigger picture: to see a planet that has taken care of itself for millennia, and will survive and thrive. I think I must watch my words and my mind and heart to transform all of them to positive loving things that uplift. To be sad or angry about things I am totally unable to affect is to add energy to them and does not transform;

There is a phrase in one of the comments, “My heart is now likely to break, from fullness though, not from sadness.”; and I would suggest that just changing from ‘likely to break’ to ‘overflowing with’ might transform the hearts involved, including mine.

I’m new (in some ways) to thoughts like these. I’m sure they will evolve as I continue to explore. And the evidence in my own life suggests that I’m on the right track – at least for me – at least for now.

I found this poem in the sidebar of Ruth’s blog:
THE PEACE OF WILD THINGS

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
— Wendell Berry  

'Why' may be the most useLESS question ever asked

Declan Galbraith is a very good singer/songwriter, maybe a great one someday.
And it is certainly true that this is musically beautiful.

But in my opinion, the Why question may sound pertinent but only adds to the confusion and problems that we experience. The question implies an answer, for one thing. And even when there IS one, no answer to this question provides a change in the condition. Constantly screaming/asking/meditating/singing on a why question for any situation simply focuses one's mind on the problem.

Contrast this song (above) with Bette Midler's From a Distance.

Just consider the differences in these verses:

In my dream children sing a song of love for every boy and girl
The sky is blue and fields are green and laughter is the language of the world
Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need

Tell me why (why, why, does the tiger run)
Tell me why (why why do we shoot the gun)
Tell me why (why, why do we never learn)
Can someone tell us why we let the forest burn?

(Why, why do we say we care)
Tell me why (why, why do we stand and stare)
Tell me why (why, why do the dolphins cry)
Can some one tell us why we let the ocean die?
                              

    Then this.....

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
                                       

The differences I hear in these lyrics are HUGE. And reflect what I hear in the people around me everyday. We, the editorial we (I pray), simply do not (maybe can not) hear our own negativity. We fell in love with The Secret; we joined Oprah's group to discuss Eckhart Tolle, and for what? I don't know; I can't see any differences anywhere.

I'm running out of people to talk to. I'm hyper-sensitive these days to language and connotation and intent. The world seems to be on such a completely irreversible course straight to extinction. And I can't help but see that (extinction) as the perfectly natural and appropriate consequence of the decisions we have made.

Decisions about how we keep score and what we value are critical to every aspect of our lives. And yet, we seem not to get that connection between those things and the conditions we see around us everyday. We bemoan our educational system without realizing that it suffers because we prefer to reward football players and actors much more than teachers. Many of us suffer and even die because we value drug companies and specialists more than nature and life-style changes. We invest billions in drug companies and gurus to keep us living longer on a planet that we KNOW is dying from overpopulation and disregard. We created a political system that enforces and guarantees a gulf between We the People and those who claim to represent us. And then we watch them argue for power among themselves while they claim to serve.

Here's a 'why' question for you: Why would any rational conscious person on this planet want to live one single second longer than absolutely necessary?

I don't get it. I don't get why there are still starving people in African deserts. Or anywhere else for that matter. We don't have to step back to any great distance to know that many people throw away more food than some villages ever see. We KNOW, if we look, that today's bag of rice is feeding the great-great grandchildren of the same people we sent a bag of rice to yesterday.

Duh!?

My friend, Nancy, and I speak a similar language. She thinks I need to get out more...out of town, that is. This is a  touristy little berg in the boonies of southern New Mexico, full of realtors and retirees and is extremely conservative and fundamental. I suspect she may be right; my horizons here are WAY too narrow.

Perhaps I'm just dancing with my dark side. It's true that my thinking can be a bit compulsive. 

In any case, I've been working on this draft for 3 days and that is more than enough time to spend of something I can effect only in my own heart. Nancy & I are planning a day trip to the Bosque; just we and about a gazillion feathered friends. Undoubtedly, they can blow away these current winds of ...whatever this is...this absence of god...this futility that I feel.

Thankfully, none of those things I decry are real.
It's just me & my mind wallowing in the trough of disconnection. It's a temporary aberration.

I'll be back. 

"Funniest Staff Meeting"

"Funniest staff meeting."

Just a warning: You may want to read it in private. Enjoy!

"The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. A few minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

10.  Viagra: Whaazzzz up!
  9.  Viagra: The quicker pecker picker upper.
  8.  Viagra: Like a rock!
  7.  Viagra: When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
  6.  Viagra: Be all that you can be.
  5.  Viagra: Reach out and touch someone.
  4.  Viagra: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
  3.  Viagra: Home of the whopper!
  2.  Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

  1:   This is your peepee.   This is your peepee on drugs."

I found this all over the Web, but I did not find anyone claiming to be the author. Here is the link I liked the best.

getting it wrong/right?!

Oh, my gravy!

Did you know that if you get enough people doing/saying something wrong, it will ultimately become right?

Check this out: read the "usage note"

short-lived

 (shôrtlvd, -lvd)

adj.

Living or lasting only a short time; ephemeral.

---

[short + (long)-lived.]

Usage Note: The pronunciation (-lvd) is etymologically correct since the compound is derived from the noun life, rather than from the verb live. But the pronunciation (-lvd) is by now so common that it cannot be considered an error. In the most recent survey 43 percent of the Usage Panel preferred (-lvd), 39 percent preferred (-lvd), and 18 percent found both pronunciations equally acceptable.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

This - now so common that it cannot be considered an error - is the phrase that chaps my butt.

What? Something wrong becomes common, through laziness or ignorance or carelessness, and then - because it is commonly wrong - the wrong thing is suddenly made right. Wow.

So, why aren't all of us over-eaters suddenly made thin?

Perhaps the reverse is true, also. The old 'use it or lose it' thing...? Could that be what is happening to ethics in politics and punditry? Maybe there are so few examples of ethical behavior in these arenas, that ethics are no longer something for which to strive. Hmmm...

Now, as I was growing up, EVERYBODY told me to be a good girl: Mom, church, teachers, relatives...everyone. I've spent quite a bit of energy through the years examining the guidelines of each; keeping some ideals; making new ones; eliminating others, until I've come to understand what being a good girl means to me.

The very bottom line is that I must add to the love and not to the fear in this world.
That effects how & whether I talk, what I watch on TV, how I relate to family & friends, & who I hang with.

It's beginning to effect what I eat and how I fashion the hours in my day. (thankfully; but no dramatic results to report)

It seems to me that there should be a way to make this all work for the betterment of the planet.

Poertry (by K. Rhoades) from Erin

Erin, thanks for finding this. What sparked Erin to remember this was my story of a drumming experience at White Sands many years ago. I suspect that all of the women present for that spontaneous and inspired piece of creative heaven remember it clearly, as I do. This poem captures the emotions I felt then and thoughts I've had about it since.

I Walked into a Moment of Greatness

“I walked into a moment of greatness. There was a wave of pure emotion running through the air like a pulse recording the beat of souls. I stood against a wall, the house was in darkness, light on the stage.

The last act of Meistersinger had begun. I listened. All of me heard. If that straight line of terrific tensity which stretched continuously between myself and the music, growing more and more sensitive each moment, could have existed indefinitely until the line became inseparable with the state about it what would have happened?

Everything had merged there was no possibility of any retention of the separateness of a human self from the space of sound into which that sentient self had projected. An extension of feeling and a diffusion of music with it creating a condition of oneness. A passing of each into the other.

Sound, Giving, Will, Feeling, an insistent entity reached. Was there any part of me that did not respond? I was not a woman. I became merely a part of the attunement of the moment as did all the others. The strangers standing so near that I could have touched them and I think we were touching. We had dropped our little selves we were not but something greater than ourselves was breathing. What gave it the impetus to breathe? And if it could have endured, if a climax could have been reached and held for the fraction of a second - would not that instant have become infinite? Would it have been death? Or escape into a quickening of life?”

Katharine Rhoades April 1915.

Ms. Rhoades was an artist as well as a writer. I found this excerpt about her work interesting.

”The terms in which critics evaluated Rhoades' work at the 1915 exhibition place her paintings within a loosely defined expressionism, which prioritized emotion, intuition, and spirituality. Charles Caffin in the New York American insisted that Rhoades' reliance was on intuition, rather than observation: "Miss Rhoades seems to have a capacity of psychically sensing her subject" (19). Agnes Meyer, a journalist, photographer and fellow member of the Stieglitz circle reviewed Rhoades' work at the time of the 1915, commenting on the artist's individual vision:

“her whole impulse to paint seems to spring from a close communion with and a desire to impart the underlying significance of the world as she sees it . . . There seems at first to be a strange and foreign quality in her portraits but a sympathetic study reveals the fact that she has seen further or at least differently than we (Meyer 8).”

Meyer again points to Rhoades' ability to visually articulate a metaphysical consciousness and stresses her status as a seer, psychic, or medium through which highly developed states of consciousness are expressed.”

The article in which this excerpt appears was found online.

Words, Concepts, and Integrity

This will be short, but I want to get it on paper...
I've been struck by the power of words for a long time. And through some of my various trainings and experiences I've learned more about precision of meaning, and the power of words & thought to create our individual and cultural realities.
It's my new cause - something I'll be speaking about more & more often.

And many times today, while viewing CSPAN, CNN, etc., I couldn't help but notice many places where (I believe) a different word(s) might have declared a clearer intention or helped to create a higher good, than those used.

Some that struck me were these that made me uneasy.
"believers" contrasted with "non-believers" (I posit there is no such thing)
"tolerance" vs "intolerance" (If you're talking about me, forget them both; accept me, or go on your way.) Tolerance is not good enough.
"diversity"...as in diversity training...what does that mean?

diversity

Noun

1. the quality of being different or varied

2. a point of difference

di·ver·si·ty  (d-vûrs-t, d-

n. pl. di·ver·si·ties

1.

a. The fact or quality of being diverse; difference.

b. A point or respect in which things differ.

2. Variety or multiformity: "Charles Darwin saw in the diversity of species the principles of evolution that operated to generate the species: variation, competition and selection" Scientific American.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


Just one article: What Diversity & Inclusion Is Really About   by Joerg Schmitz

My point in all of this is to continue my own thinking process about words, thoughts, and (maybe) their related actions, under the theory that these all have energy to effect my reality.
MUCH more will be coming on this front, but in the meantime, consider this little test:
Pick up a pencil/pen and try to toss it across the room.
Did it leave your hand? If so, you didn't try, you actually tossed it successfully.
If you just try, the pencil never leaves your hand.

See you later with more.