I would like to spend an evening with some very good wine and in the company of these people:
Brene Brown
Stephen Fry
Neil deGrasse Tyson
James Blackburn
Dame Judi Dench
Alan Watts
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I were to give energy to a 'Regret' in my history, it would be about my total and complete lack of grounding in Math and Science.
I don't give energy in that direction. I am so recently come to a little good self-esteem that I can't regret the history that brought me here.
And/but occasionally I ...grieve? ...the lack.
There is not time for them now, though I know I could go back to school online.
I am clear though that if I can learn to finish ...stuff (started to say ever finish anything!) ...the hard stuff.
I don't finish the hard stuff.
The top two items on my list of things I put before math & science are The practice, and the U-Bass.
On these two, not only do I not finish, I scarcely move forward at all and often slip back.
laziness or fear?
it's probably both
and both are fixable when I choose to
Though in truth this physical body of mine will not recover any of her strength if I don't start.
(the thought pops up often in my mind though I don't recall saying it out loud to anyone...maybe a therapist...?)
I'm a little afraid of just exactly Who I might turn out to be if I allow myself to (hated phrase) Let Go.
I'm not quite the calm center yet; I think I already 'soapbox' too much
and yet I fear the cave. :)
