I'm in one of those pissy moods right now. You know, where I want to crawl up into someone's lap and suck my thumb and hear, "there there, dear, it will be alright, you were such a good girl. But, NOO_oo! I've spent some energy working on consciousness, and ...damn!
It's getting really hard to properly enjoy a pity party. I want the lap and I want to be a conscious person. sometimes, it's a hard choice is all I'm saying. At this moment I choose the lap, so here I am, in yours. ...exhale.. ..........just rambling thoughts now
So I heard last night on a video, Esther/Abraham/Hicks say that 'negative' emotions are guidance,too.
I think my body is hollering one thing, my heart something else, and that 'ego'...it's just more voices.
one of them says you can get off the hook because you're old! 68 this month. But I don't know what people mean when they deny that age is a number. it is not a condition.
my thoughts fly so fast in my head I can not get them out of my hands. fingers flail.
I'm glad I can still feel with this intensity; and sometimes nervous that real consciousness requires that i smooth out the extremes.
and she is not remembering a lot of stuff. and that is scary..scarier than I knew and I continue to be my version of freaking conscious!, and sometimes it pisses me off, and sometimes it breaks my heart and I want.. i want i i i iiiyiyiyiyy ... myself and ...ultimately
The cacophony of all the voices and the environmental general NOISE
I've gotta go shut up, but first (lol)
the constancy and variety of the voices, often overlaid with music,,anyway it makes me wonder if I'm not on my way to half crazy myself. (one voice even says, "God, help me"... )
DAMN. this.
I will have to change some more behaviors/aspects/traits/who knows what-all. hasn't that EVER pissed you off?
ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhDamnittheretheremydearrrrrrrrrrrrr
