Well, I wanted to title this "Pissshitfuckdamnandhell!" But somehow it doesn't fit exactly right.
Was on FB just now and watched this video that I've see a dozen times already.
When you watch it, listen to the words of the song. You may already know it in theory. Laura, you know it, probably viscerally.
You can listen to Tim McGraw sing it here. "Live Like You Were Dying"
It has felt inspiring several times. This time is different. This time, I'm sobbing
This time, I'm nearly 67 years old.
This time, I'm contemplating a 2nd 100 Days.
This time, I know that I am dying. No, not that way, not by someone's verdict or diagnosis; but just like we all are dying - one day at a time.
This time, I want different things.
This time, I'm indicted by her accomplishments - by those of several I see & respect...
This time, I will learn to do SOMETHING as well as this young woman trains horses.
This time, I'm working on deep core stuff that has stifled me for decades.
This time, I'll make a commitment to myself and give it the WEIGHT that I assign to my commitments to others.
This time I'll learn to quiet my mind.
This time, I'll find out where the fury comes from. And break it's hold. And change my mind.
And when I die, I'll be spiritually/psychologically conscious and bursting with Joy & Anticipation.
So, I'm dying.
My first task, as I see it, is to define just what I want in the rest of my days.
This is the list I've written in the last week or two: qualities I want:
Happiness
Joy
Lightness
Confidence
Balance
Satisfaction
Worth
Love
Empathy
I'll get there by making and keeping promises to myself. I must change some deep-seated beliefs and dump plenty of old habit energy. I'll stop taking it easy, and start making life easy by doing those things that feed me. I'll create some new habits and believe new things. And my new practices will last the rest of this physical lifetime.
The 'things' list includes these...
Music has to be in it.
Movement has to be in it.
Tai Chi has to be in it.
I don't know what else I might need.
I do know that my computer usage has to drop by about 80%. That'll be no problem; FB will go, mostly. I'll probably be setting timers in the early parts of this transformation. : )
I DO love my computer. And Laura is in here!!
Today is Tuesday, so it's Karaoke Day at Hacienda de LaLa. Therefore, there will be LOTS of music.
And today and in the next few days, I'll flesh out the rest of what must go and what gets pushed higher on the list of priorities. And pick some dates for this new 100 Days.
And, one day, when Jim asks again, "What is stopping you from doing those things that you KNOW are good & right for you?", I'll be able to say, "Nothing, anymore, my Friend."
Thanks for standing by...
