KateThoughts

A Model for Aging Well

Can you imagine a political figure with a 92% approval rating? AFTER she's been in office...for THIRTY-ONE years?!

Can you imagine playing hockey at 88 yrs? Why the hell not?!
Check out Hazel McCallion. What an inspiration! Enjoy!



I think I'll play this everyday.

Aging Well ~ the Quest

Somehow this morning (cosmically led, perhaps?), I came upon this old post of Ronni Bennett's from several years ago. Her post is about May-December romances. Mine is other...

I was struck by this excerpt:

"Carolyn Heilbrun, in her book, Writing a Woman’s Life, acknowledges the well-known invisibility that envelops most women at middle age, but she goes on in a manner I find encouraging:

“We will move invisibly for a time, to relearn seeing and to forget being seen. As we grow slowly visible, we will be heard more and seen less. Our voices will ramify, our bodies will become a house for our new spirit.”.

And there are younger men who find that spirit more attractive than mere youth.

I'm particularly struck by the phrase, "to relearn seeing and to forget being seen". I have spent so much of my life aware of, concerned about, and afraid of what others think of me that, at times, I've been almost paralyzed. (Wonderful to have moved from that place!)

"To relearn seeing"    
When I was living that fear, what was I seeing? What do I need to relearn? I think it is not so much a re-learning process as it is a new learning process. I thought I was seeing - looking at - but, I was really only seeing myself, and so concerned with 'what' people saw when they looked at me that I could give no thought at all for the 'who' they might have seen. And the 'who' - the real me - was invisible, largely because I was so outwardly focused.

As I'm aging, (thank you, god) the rest of that quote is becoming true. Again, Thank God.
I am becoming more visible - to myself - than I have ever been. I'm more clear on the 'who' that I am, more brave, and my body is becoming the "house for my spirit".

I had to look up ramified, and I find that that is true for me, too. I am more complex; and my spirit, my interests, indeed, my own voice are multifaceted and much more powerful.

"To forget being seen"
In some ways, this seemed easier for me for many years. What that ease turned out to be was, at first, just an amazing ability to avoid mirrors. It started with cameras and other people's photos of me. I just got tired of that coy, "oh, no, my hair looks terrible" type of BS and came to realize that I would never have to look at them; could forget that they existed. What a relief it was to say, 'Sure, go ahead". and just smile.  

Now, I can consider the thought that I am truly blind if I am too much concerned with 'being seen'. I don't really see other people, or the truth of a situation if I am concerned with how I look or what others think.

Now, I know that looking in is for my meditation or prayer. I can forget that anyone is looking. My years and my path have brought a perspective that we only gain by growing older. With a bit of open-mindedness I might even be(come) wise. As for being seen; the only opinion that really matters is my own. I'm concerned with how closely I stand by my values. When I remember these things, I am in great shape: happy, content, integrous.

"Heard more, seen less"
I can't say that I am seen less. What do I know of what another really sees? I do know that I care less. And this blog attests to the fact that I have stuff to say. Do you hear me?   :)
Guess what...even that matters less to me, and ultimately matters not at all.

It seems a bit curious to me.
As I age, I seem to look inward much more in some respects (usually related to self-knowledge), and to become more self-centered. I think it is in some relationship to my interest in dying well. I'll continue that exploration the rest of my life, I suppose. And I can see that I also see others much better, or with thinner blinders. Perspective again, I'm sure.

As Bette says, "From a distance..."

The In-Between State

Here's a timely reminder from a good friend (Thanks, Mike) and a favorite author, Pema Chodron.

" We are told about the pain of chasing after pleasure and the futility of running from pain. We hear also about the joy of awakening, of realizing our interconnectedness, of trusting the openness of our hearts and minds. But we aren’t told all that much about this state of being in-between, no longer able to get our old comfort from the outside but not yet dwelling in a continual sense of equanimity and warmth. Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not only hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength. Yet it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are on familiar ground. But something has shaken up our habitual patterns and frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it. This open-ended tender place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is what heals. It allows us to let go of our self-importance. It’s how the warrior learns to love.

from Chodron's book,

The Places That Scare You (Shambhala Publications)

As are so many, we've been struggling here just a bit (or sometimes a BIG bit) over the drop in income. Readjusting has not been fun or easy.

It is very educational on several levels. And Chodron's words here, really help. Big Breath. 

I already know I've good at the hard stuff, so I'll get this, too. Meanwhile, learning to 'be where I am' keeps me present in the moment and in my body and lets me see, feel, and adjust to these times and my place in it all.

Ring finger: why that one?

not quite the groaner you got from me yesterday... but still...

...thanks, Frank!

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

 
 
You can live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

 
 
You can live in New York City where..
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ..
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. ( Ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

 
 
You can live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

 
 
You can live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.

 
 
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

 
 
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at? "
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

   
AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


Or you can live in New Mexico where the only choice is:

Do you want that with Red or Green Chili?

The Purina Diet

Yesterday I was at my local PetSmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive-care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)   

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. PetSmart won't let me shop there anymore.

Oh, I know...I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not....just hit the right spot on my funny bone this am.

Social Credit - New links

In a response to this post, a reader has shared resource information on this and several related ideas. This should keep us busy exploring the subject and broadening our understanding of the options available.

The USBIG Network, which has posted these resources, has an extensive 'about us' page, was founded in 1999, just hosted their 8th conference, and publishes a quarterly newsletter.  USBIG is an acronym for United States Basic Income Guarantee. Sounds good to me.

Let's get the conversation going.  Thanks, Paul.

PBS's FrontLine: exploring "Living Old"

This link is a great jumping off place for articles, stories, videos and even a video stream of the complete show. The cut line of this home page says,

"A powerful and intimate journey into the uncharted territory of Americans living longer than ever -- and what it means for them, their loved ones and our society."

Worth some time, I think.

Social Credit

2-6-09

I read of an economic theory recently that absolutely could solve ALL the scariest issues facing us as US citizens today. I believe it. And now I've found some resources to help me tell you about it. It is called Social Credit and was first theorized by a Scottish economist, C.H. Douglas. The explanation given on the linked site is clear & concise. I could not relate it better, so I leave it for you to read.

Consider this excerpt from the autobiography of the current Chair & Editor, Dr. Frances Hutchinson:

"In the early years of the 21st century, people continue to air their views and/or campaign on a whole range of single issues: anti-war, anti-nuclear weapons, animal rights, organic/local agriculture, fair trade, slow/safe food, debt, poverty, racism, feminism, conservation, ecology, alternative medicines, education, diseases and disabilities which have struck their own families – the list is endless. Some pick up on Basic Income, Credit Unions, LETs schemes, Grameen Banks and the like as ways out of specific pockets of economic disorder. However, unless and until there is a radical re-think about the operations of the institutions of banking and finance which now regulate all human co-operative activity, the over-arching problems will continue to grow at a far faster rate than individual solutions will be able to solve. Social Credit offers a starting-point – it was never more than that – for a healthy debate about ways forward into the future."   [emphasis mine]

Or this one, from Dr. Hutchinson's introduction to her presentation at an International Conference held at Plater College, Oxford University, in 2002.

"Through these researches I conclude that orthodox economics has no value save to justify a system based upon exploitation and destruction of the land and its peoples."

I first heard of this theory in Robert Heinlein's book, For Us, the Living, a new publication of a long-lost 1st novel written in 1939. Now I have found the Douglas Social Credit Secretariat, an educational organization in the UK. The site linked above is rich in resources about the theory, its creator, and many of the people & publications who have discussed Social Credit.

3-1-09

I do have permission to quote, now. And I've found more bloggers talking about this subject. Just Google Social Credit or check out these links...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Credit  
http://social-credit.blogspot.com/2009/03/social-credit-christopher-m.html
http://www.michaeljournal.org/realsc3.htm    

I suspect there will be more & more information available as time goes on. Adopting Social Credit as a system, or even bringing the subject into general discussion will take a true grass-roots movement, I believe. I can't see the banks (esp. Federal Reserve) or big corporations embracing this system. Let's get this conversation moving!