First I was afraid; now I'm PETRIFIED!

I've read this article twice now. Here's an excerpt:

This headline from Reuters, More Suffering From Chronic Illnesses, and other pieces trumpeting the spiraling cost of health care could lead one to believe that universal health care is unsustainable and/or unaffordable. But we're not necessarily getting the whole story. As we speak, the health care industry and the insurance industry (they are not the same) are stacking the numbers.

from AQ who blogs at Always Question 

Here's where I stand at the moment. Like AQ, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I'm fat. (I can say, thankfully, that I have no history of cancer; though my Mom had breast cancer - successfully treated by surgery.) As far as medical records go, her history is a part of my history.

I also have health insurance for which I pay almost $250/month. To keep the payments that low (!?) I have a high deductible and a lot of limits about what can/cannot be treated. Those factors, plus a suspicion about the info that goes into the "system" has kept me going slow and almost holding my breath about having any of these checked out again. Basically, I have health insurance I'm afraid to use. 

I'm a long way from Medicare, though, at 61, and now I'm basically terrified.

And THAT'S a pisser because I'm also convinced that "thoughts we hold in mind, produce in kind".

Aaarrrrrrrrrrggghhh!!!!!!!

I want to scream, and then kill somebody! Hopefully, not myself.

One of the values I've held for a long time is to stand FOR something
rather than to struggle/fight AGAINST something.

There is little doubt that I am being called into battle, now. I feel like David in front of Goliath, who is, of course, Big Pharma, Big Insurance, and Traditional Western Medicine which knows a lot about illness and very little about health.

I'm being called to battle and I am very pissed! And I'm worried that I/we can't fight it fast enough to make a difference in MY lifetime. That doesn't make the battle less important, it just leaves me scared - and that affects my health - and that makes me scared.....
SHIT!  What a tail-chaser.

I'm going for a walk with Mango, then I'm going back to my meditation cushion and see if I can surrender all this turmoil in this moment.

If you're concerned about health care, I suggest you read this and lots of other articles on the subject. TGB has many in these categories: Health and Universal Healthcare. You know I'm partial to the folks over there, but just Google the subject; there is no dearth of information.