Itsa Village

A Salon Rebirth?

I'm proposing these questions from the NYT as, perhaps, an early new discussion. What do you think?
These are All of the questions in an article about finding love, so they all may not fit easily for us.  These were also directed to younger people than we who were interested in dating opportunities. While that may be one or two of us, (ahem) we are not (to the best of my knowledge)
trying to date each other! :)   ...an FYI

36 Questions:

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a YouTube group called Jubilee who has filmed many fascinating conversations from these questions. This link is to their Playlists; to see the series, scroll to the group called Tea for Two.
You might enjoy a further look around that site; they have made some amazing (to me) videos featuring opposites such as Minimum Wage Earners and Millionaires.  Many different subjects. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments; questions?  Good idea? Bad idea?
What do we want now, as opposed to what we wanted pre-pandemic?
What do you need/want from this group?

 

 

A Pride of Crones

You know I'm a language lover. 

I've been playing with words having to do with 'old' for some time. I've enjoyed using "tribe" to describe my circle of friends.
But the other day I was thinking of collective nouns, like flock of sheep or a murder of crows... 
A tribe of crones didn't sound all that good to me, but a Pride of Crones does! Or a Pride of Elders. Yes, please.

What do you think?

Documenting Death

I found this video today. I may join Twitter just to see how this went forward.
I'm impressed, to say the least.

I still have pics of Joel from that last summer...
this is not those...

 

What do you think of this level of sharing?

What do you want to hear from friends and family if your death was to be similar to this?

More prep for the 'letter' I think.

 

"Why the World is Going Crazy" (and the un-quoted comments on this topic.

and maybe a part of an upcoming Re-introduction email (it's a 'letter' in my mind :). )

This video I found at random (?) on YouTube:

 

The author/commentor, Jamie Wheal, introduces himself in the video that came from Big Think.

I agree with most of what he is saying here.

leaving this unfinished in favor of a tall fresh homemade lemon-limeade pleasantly laced with vodka, and a movie... TTFN. :)

Ilu...If Only

"Dayenu"   

I found this posted on Facebook by a friend. 

Dayenu
It literally means "It would have been enough".   This site translates the text.
Ilu means "if only"

I played this video because I'm having a shortage of peace these days and any exploration could be helpful.
And also because, in my struggles with the G word, and spirit, and just plain wishing for more love in the world, it's good for me to peek into religious beliefs of others now & then to see if I might be missing something.

Remembering grammar, I felt something niggling at me. I did not remember it is called Past Conditional.
"Things would have been different if another situation or condition had been met."  an explanation of Past Conditional English from here.
So, IF this had happened (been done), it WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH.

It looks like a catalogue of regrets to me.  Any comments?

 

 

 

 

2-3 more things to think/talk about...

 

https://eand.co/the-origins-of-americas-unique-and-spectacular-cruelty-74a91f53ce29
The Origins of America's Unique and Spectacular Cruelty

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2021/03/22/preachers-sneakers-instagram-wealth/
Preacher/church Wealth 

All this crap bothers me. possibly more than it should - possibly not enough.

I don't know whether to stop reading (can I?) or emigrate.  I don't know if there is anywhere else to go...  ?
I don't know how to be helpful. I'm a little embarrassed by all the physical comfort and 'things' that I have.
Let's talk...

 

 

 

One Year In on the Global Pandemic

"No matter how old you are, as you read you might ask yourself a question, too:
How has this year challenged and changed your generation?"   [emphasis mine] 
    — Katherine Schulten, editor, The Learning Network

"For many American teens, this year will be the defining moment of their young lives.
In words, images and videos, they showed us how they’ve met these challenges in an unrecognizable world."


The subtitle and quote above come from NYT's Coming of Age article
about America's teens and how they have fared this first year. 
Here is just one of them:
    
    "This photo encompasses my own identity as an L.G.B.T.Q.+ Filipina-American woman. It highlights my role as an ally to the     movements of social justice. No longer do I talk about boys or paint my nails, but start to recognize the part I can play in fighting     for justice and how to tackle my implicit biases.
    Although this was not the summer I was expecting, it truly has brought on tremendous personal growth, which I would not trade     for anything."     --La Habra, Calif.  Christian Lee, 17

There are several others, each completely worth some of your time. (imo)


there is a paywall up at NYT, so if you want to read it and can't, let me know...)

       

and/or this one: "Where do the dead go in our Imaginations"

article...  where do they go in yours... ?

 

housekeeping... usually I categorize things as Covid related if that is the subject in any part of the post.
But.. I think that the pandemic is so pervasive, scary, politicized, depressing, killing!,...  I'm sure it colors my subjectivity!

so all the posts from March 2020 onward fit there too.

and this one on Instavengelists...

Article... don't skip the comments.

Rational Suicidal Thinking

This article... 

to comment... a Religious

Article from The Guardian   

an excerpt  "

There is a Rumi poem – it is my favourite. “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,” writes the 13th-century mystic, “there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

I feel this way about religious Twitter.

 

I SO wanted to post this to Facebook!!

but I won't.

I’m confused by words, again.

I’ve been reading in an effort to understand the connection between evangelical Christians and Trump.

I started by looking up definitions in a few different dictionaries.
I read an article by NPR here, and this one from Christianity.com here.  Here’s Wikipedia’s take on evangelism.

They all agree with my early religious education in describing evangelism as being all about spreading the Gospel and the story of Jesus. The message of Jesus, and indeed most of the New Testament is about love and caring for each other.

Who, What, Why are there so many angry Trumpers among those claiming to be Christian?
Here is an article on the text of Matthew 25:31–46
Where is love among them?
Where is charity among them?
What about helping those who are suffering? 
Where are the loaves and fishes?
How do they overlook Trump’s behavior, his treatment of women, of the disabled, of POC, of Rich v Poor?

Based on my own Christian education, these articles & others, and the words of Christian Trumpers there IS NO connection.
If you feel otherwise, I invite discussion. I confess, I expect only pushback.

In full disclosure, I no longer identify as Christian.
I identify as a human who wants to be morally conscious and generally accepting and loving.

https://www.npr.org/2020/11/08/932263516/2020-faith-vote-reflects-2016-patterns

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-is-evangelism.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evangelism

https://dmsbcatholic.com/catholic-faith/what-is-the-core-message-of-christianity/

I need this link to be here, even thopugh I found it after posting my article here.
American Christianity and white Supremacy
https://www.npr.org/2020/07/30/896712611/american-christianity-must-reckon-with-legacy-of-white-supremacy-author-says 

Links... undiscussed wisdom within?

asymmetry

Zen Retirement 

podcast - J. Kornfield Timeless Awareness & Mystery of Identity

Living Large - bennett

Creativity - Laura

 

I'm Old Enough to Die 

Hypersanity

HBO's Alternate Endings

Ashes to Stardust

https://beherenownetwork.com/jack-kornfield-heart-wisdom-ep-98-timeless-awareness-and-the-mystery-of-identity/

Are We a Tribe?

Why Women need a Tribe                  

Tanja Taljaard and Azriel Re'Shel, writing in 2016, think so.  So do I.
In truth, I think we are one...with some familial tension among us on most days...

I've posted this link, with only a quick scan, to save it for us, and to follow some interesting links...
My tribe, however, does not require chanting, incense, beads, shawls, or paint. 
Though it is quite possible that any or all of these things might come in handy at one point or another.

Topics: an unfinished list

Also refer to the lists of articles, videos, podcasts, and more, here for more topic ideas.
Users may add to this list at any time through comments on this post or by emailing me.

• Boundaries
• Ageism
• Pain management
• Depression management
• End of life decisions
• Financial challenges
• Hearing aids
• Euthanasia: an option?
• Assisted Living?
• Docs and meds: the good the bad and the ugly
• Regrets resolved?
• What matters now? What does not matter... topic of Last Meeting
• Sleep: do you get enough? tired? are naps ok? how much it too much?
  
  
  Adding new Topics July 1, 2019    ...feel free to suggest others
  
  
• Death & Dying
  
  Will continue to add topics as they occur to us..
  
  
• Identity Politics 
• Co-Housing
• Medical Mess-ups & unnecessary tests, drugs, etc.

 

• Reiki/Energy Work
• Losses as a result of Aging
• Our Make-A-Wish Lists (improbable, but potentially doable day dreams - like skydiving, for example!)
• Trust
• Trust Games/Exercises
  
  
• Our Biases and Prejudices and How We Came to Hold Them.