Covid - All things related

A Salon Rebirth?

I'm proposing these questions from the NYT as, perhaps, an early new discussion. What do you think?
These are All of the questions in an article about finding love, so they all may not fit easily for us.  These were also directed to younger people than we who were interested in dating opportunities. While that may be one or two of us, (ahem) we are not (to the best of my knowledge)
trying to date each other! :)   ...an FYI

36 Questions:

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
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There is a YouTube group called Jubilee who has filmed many fascinating conversations from these questions. This link is to their Playlists; to see the series, scroll to the group called Tea for Two.
You might enjoy a further look around that site; they have made some amazing (to me) videos featuring opposites such as Minimum Wage Earners and Millionaires.  Many different subjects. 
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Comments; questions?  Good idea? Bad idea?
What do we want now, as opposed to what we wanted pre-pandemic?
What do you need/want from this group?


 


One Year In on the Global Pandemic

"No matter how old you are, as you read you might ask yourself a question, too:
How has this year challenged and changed your generation?"   [emphasis mine] 
    
— Katherine Schulten, editor, The Learning Network

"For many American teens, this year will be the defining moment of their young lives.
In words, images and videos, they showed us how they’ve met these challenges in an unrecognizable world."


The subtitle and quote above come from NYT's Coming of Age article
about America's teens and how they have fared this first year. 
Here is just one of them:
    
    "This photo encompasses my own identity as an L.G.B.T.Q.+ Filipina-American woman. It highlights my role as an ally to the     movements of social justice. No longer do I talk about boys or paint my nails, but start to recognize the part I can play in fighting     for justice and how to tackle my implicit biases.
    Although this was not the summer I was expecting, it truly has brought on tremendous personal growth, which I would not trade     for anything."     --La Habra, Calif.  Christian Lee, 17


There are several others, each completely worth some of your time. (imo)


there is a paywall up at NYT, so if you want to read it and can't, let me know...)

       


and/or this one: "Where do the dead go in our Imaginations"

article...  where do they go in yours... ?

 

housekeeping... usually I categorize things as Covid related if that is the subject in any part of the post.
But.. I think that the pandemic is so pervasive, scary, politicized, depressing, killing!,...  I'm sure it colors my subjectivity!

so all the posts from March 2020 onward fit there too.


Sharing Christmas during the Pandemic

It's possible to 'share' things these days... just not kisses and hugs!
What a bummer that could be were we not crones and so highly evolved!

As keeper of the blog, I sent an email out Saturday morning:

Good Morning!  I hope you had a great Christmas. I certainly did! 8-9 hours with Jessica!! Wahoo!
We rocked out with Rummicube, had a good meal, and talked too long to watch "Soul" as we first planned.
I'm going to miss our conversations tremendously. We're really good at the Deep Dive.
And we were aware, without being maudlin, that she will be gone in 4 days. I think it enriched the experience rather than damping it.

So, what was your Favorite Part of your Christmas Day?   Santa slippers, perhaps? LOL!
I have not hidden your names on this email in hopes that you will 'reply to all' and add just a little extra "Community" feel to this weird holiday.
I love and miss each of you. ❤️
 
Kate
What follows are the responses as they came in:

So great to hear, Kate,about your full and loving day with Jessica. Give her our love as she leaves for a new chapter. We had a wonderful day with our new “household “ with Kathryn and Marcia, who have generously taken us in as we live next door in our 5th wheel.
We had FT calls with family, played Joker, ate great food (thanks to Marcia and Mel), sang and watched football.
I am so grateful for all the goodness in my life even in this difficult year. We miss you all. May you have a safe and improving 2021. ❤️  

Kate H.

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Nice healing from y’all. We had a quiet day. Long walk with Daisy, nice meal and a little football. 
Today is looking a lot like yesterday. Well, I did drive to Zocca’s for lattes. Delicious. And on that drive I watched the wild horses stroll across Mechem. What a gift. 
Hugs to all,

Angela

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Hello friends,
Kim, Verna and I had a quiet day. Verna is my aunt who has multiple health issues and has been living with us since early March. Other than the challenges of dealing with someone with dementia, it was a good day. We exchanged gifts with my kids and grandkids via Zoom and had a yummy meals of homemade tamales.

Much love to all. May 2021 bring access to COVID vaccine so we can get her once again!
Love, Nona

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Hi all,

The best part of hearing from everyone is that everyone seems to be healthy. That is a blessing in itself. Our day was very quiet,a little sad, but worked very hard at working past that. Fixed Carol a vodka martini and she was in bed before 10 pm. Hahaha...She cooked a down to earth camping recipe that was delicious. Watched football and hit the sack early.. so good to hear that everyone had a wonderful day.
We hope 2021 holds many positives, most of all seeing everyone again.
Love to you all,

Mary and Carol

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so happy to be hearing of everyone's enjoyment in their day, even amidst some challenges....
my day was indeed a blessing also, filled with love and fun and laughter that i will surely miss ❤️
big hugs to all....🤗 
Jessica
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Thank you Kate and everyone for sharing. So beautiful to hear that you all found joy and laughter through this bizarre holiday season.  I have had my grand boys for a week and that is a blessing in itself. Much and good food has been shared, great conversation with my oldest, he is now 17, love to watch the change as they mature. 
Jessica, much joy and happiness in your new adventure on this journey 🙏   
Blessings to you all.  May you be safe, happy and well in the New Year. 

Angie
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We found that it doesn't take much to entertain us! We received toilet lights from our friend and neighbor, Kim. The toilet light, for those who may not know, fits on the toilet and lights up in the middle of the night when you go to the bathroom. It even changes colors! So this was one of our favorite gifts. And another favorite was from Peggy. She had a jigsaw puzzle made from a picture she had taken of Frida. When we get it finished, I'll take a picture and email it to the group. Love and miss all of you and am looking forward to the day we all get to get together in person.
Love,

Susan

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Hi guys, I also had an extremely exciting holiday.....NOT!. I zoomed with my kids in LA , San Francisco, and DC Christmas day then went to Carrizozo to a yummy prime rib dinner at my friend Bonnie and her husband's. Spent the night so I could drink to my hearts content! With my usual lightweight limit of 1 cocktail, 1 glass of Cab, and 2 itty bitty glasses of limonchello! my favorite gift, The promised land by B Obama. No complaints, my life is good. Miss you all and can't wait for 2021.

Irma
 
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Good morning, all;
 
So nice to hear from all of you this week.  I feel like I’ve been in a tunnel the last few weeks.  I have pre-registered for the Covid vax, because I’m ready to see all your faces sooner, rather than later.
 
Christmas was quiet here.  Mike’s mom passed away Wednesday afternoon and we’ve got his dad with us, who is understandably a bit of a mess.  We know she suffers no more, but that seldom eases a loved one’s suffering.  
 
I’ve had the opportunity to do quite a bit of cooking this week, given the circumstances, and I almost always love being in the kitchen, and don’t often get to, so there’s that.
 
Looking forward to a new beginning after this week and, hopefully, some time off during our coldest month of February, to go be somewhere warm...or, at least different.
 
Love you all gobs.  I still offer La Junta Guest Ranch for a socially distanced gathering if/when you all have grown weary of a lack of human connection.
 
Hug and smooch to you all.  Happy...HAPPIER New Year!
 
Sheri

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I forgot to report the joy and wonder of watching elk stroll by here frequently, wild horses come to the fence and we toss carrots, and M and K saw a mountain lion go by couple weeks ago. Natures gifts! 
I’m reading A Promise Land too. Good to hear u Irma.

Kate H.
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Itsa Village Housekeeping update 10-5-20

There are many posts here, now, and many more links to other articles and information.
Lately, I've relied heavily on Ronni Bennett of Time Goes By, largely because she is living and sharing her dying.
Don't see how we can get more pertinent to our purpose than that.

I will keep posting here, because it's one of the things I do.

But I have become aware that this blog and, indeed, our Salon have fallen prey to the distractions of the pandemic, internet insecurity, politics, and a general lack of interest.  I haven't sent emails about new postings lately because they produce no evidence that any of you are engaged here any longer.  That's fine with me, sort of.
There are certainly many more important things on our individual & collective minds these days.

I miss you.   ...without intense longing for you. I'm conscious of pulling in.. not sure it is in any good way.

These days - these covid days - I am intensely aware of loneliness as something separate from solitude.
I've always known it, maybe, but I have a new respect for the difference, now.

The biggest critter in that wilderness of Alone that is not solitude, is fear. Fear that the Alone will continue forever.
That I will end up as Ronni is, without someone by the bed when I die. I will have hospice, if that is available then.
And, really, I sell my friends short when I think or assume that they don't care. I know that.
That, and other aspects relating to mental health are why I still talk to a therapist every month.