KateThoughts

Just who is training whom?

I’ve always thought of it as ‘getting crazy’… but maybe it’s the real part, the who of I am…

The Bearly thing has been quite the experience, and I recently got it – really got it – about the duration and weight of it.

I’m hyper-vigilant, and not a soul can do it right, not even (or especially) me.

I am a leader to a great extent. Can’t wait for puppy-mommy school!

 

Anyway, as I prepare for this massage, I just noticed that this IS mothering. It IS of great duration. He could easily, perhaps, outlive us both.

And Bearly is a tiny puppy – three months old; we’ve had him in our house one month. Only 15+years to go.

And I get to go thru this.
OCD shit is up, bigtime.

Control, ditto

And self-judgment –AND judgment of everyone else.
Poor Joel…I know it feels personal to her and I piss her off (preferable) or hurt her (not good at all!).
It ain’t them, it’s totally me.

And I can choose to ‘get it’ which may be painful periodically.
Or I can do the usual – be frantic and frenetic and obsessed and.. blah, blah,..

I think I’ll choose to notice & experience the weight, because this is BIG

A LIVE ENTITY DEPENDS ON ME TO SURVIVE, AND HOW HE MANIFESTS HIS ‘DOGDOM’ IN THE WORLD WILL BE IS BEING SHAPED BY ME.

(not discounting Joel...I just can't comment on her experience, though it is clear she is more relaxed with him than I.)

But I think I can wear it differently. As an opportunity and an honor rather than a ‘burden’, as Joel calls it; just overwhelming responsibility and fear of failure in my egoic mind.
This could be/is becoming a big deal for me on very many different, and some exciting levels.

Help, thou, my unbelief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wrote that on Tuesday - now it's Thursday.   Jim (gently) called me out on using the 'getting crazy' phrase in TC class last night. He's right, of course. If I think of myself as getting crazy, then that is exactly what I will do.
Not a glorious feeling...and I felt, for just a moment, like I did in the early days of this class when I was so willing to be wounded by words.
I can Thankfully say that is no longer true. At that point in class, and one other during a closing relaxation meditation, I walked, consciously, thru another emotional reaction to my seeming inability to relax anything, let alone my whole body. And for now, a still mind seems not to be in the cards at all. It was interesting to walk thru those old feelings with some degree of consciousness. Interesting, and satisfying and encouraging.

And I do know that on some levels this is just a new puppy and all is well. LOTS of people are successful at raising puppies. No reason I can't be successful, too. he's a Chihuahua/Yorkie mix and has an energy that is at times amazingly frenetic. Some of that is breed-related. Some of it is probably reflections of me.

For this woman, our new 2 1/2 lb Chorkie, Bearly, is here to teach me. I feel like I'm failing miserably. I know that is not really true.  I also know I can 'mother' a puppy well. The trick for me is to do so without hooking all my 'issues', as it were. And it is clear that I'm going to learn this shit stuff by getting hooked, then getting as conscious as possible as quickly as possible. And meanwhile... breathing seems like a good idea; I forget frequently.

We're going to puppy school for the first time on Saturday. No, not for him; he's got this puppy thing down perfectly. Class will teach us, the new parents. I'm SO ready for some specific direction. The books just aren't the same thing.

In case you haven't met him on Facebook, here is the little cutie:

 

 

 

Stay tuned for further developments. :)

Are you ready for this!?!?!

Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the new ... uh..for the...  hmmm...

OK, nevermind that...  here's my YouTube debut.
You are among the privileged (very) few who are seeing this now.

This was recorded in my Music Sanctuary, after an afternoon of recording several things for Tradd Tidwell, my very accomplished teacher. You can see more of his videos here.

We didn't have anyone to frame it, and then I had to go turn it off...  our next one will be better.
AND Tradd is making noises like he might let me play with him at some local gig. ! !  WOW

...someday...  : )

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here are three great quotes in honor of this holiday.

"The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything." 
Albert Schweitzer

"Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts to finding peace of mind and happiness inside. No matter what's going on outside, there's always something we can be grateful for." 
Barry Neil Kaufman

 

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." 
Johannes A. Gaertner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are home, at last. And I'm out on my last pet-job. yea!
I promised a few more pictures of the trip, and I want to share a link to some pics of a great party!

First, more Florida. We spent one night in Ft. Walton Beach, but the weather (for the first time) cooperated with some wind-sailors rather than with us. The water and winds were wild, too cold for sitting around outside. But, we found a very cool group enjoying all this wildness to go kite-boarding and wind-surfing.
And they didn't mind talking to me and answering a few questions.

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click on these to see them larger (maybe too large).
There are two kinds of activities going on and the names for them are flexible, according to one of the riders: Kite surfing or Kite boarding are fairly obvious. The rider is harnessed to a huge kite whose front edge is inflated with air to help keep it open during maneuvers. It is easy to get 'air' as you can see in the last shot; the board is similar to a snowboard. The other is Wind surfing or Wind boarding, mostly. That's the one with a mast and sail attached to a board similar to a surfboard. At the rider's chest height is a rigid curved bar that allows the rider to 'walk' around the sail to change sides/directions.

The distance shots will give you an idea (I hope) of just how many riders were out in those winds.
It was really something to see.

Now, coming from New Orleans where we saw Joel's brother, Curt, we took I-20 to Lubbock. This would be our last night on the road - just 250 miles from HOME.
We didn't know that we were arriving just in time for my Aunt Ann's 75th birthday bash! Our invitation was in our mailbox back home, having arrived after we started this little trip. And we even had dress-up clothes with us!

Ann's b-day is the 6th, but the party was on Friday, the 5th - JOEL'S BIRTHDAY!!  I call that extreme serendipity and great blessings. The party was wonderful and was in an terrifically interesting venue, that even show-cased our family.  The American Wind Power Center & Museum.
Just way too cool.

I've posted pictures of that event on Facebook. You can see them thru this public link; no need to sign up for FB. : )

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2098813&id=1352153322&l=ee4b4d4bee

It is GREAT to be home. We learned how much we really love it.
We also learned that miles of soft sand can wreak havoc on one's knees and achilles tendons.

And we learned - again - just how blessed our lives really are. May we never forget.

Still on the road...

...will I ever be home again?

Perhaps by Sunday.

Here are some shots from a couple of Florida beaches. We'll be going to Ft. Walton Beach tomorrow; New Orleans by late Thursday or Friday for beignets with Joel's brother, then the road home.

Those of you beginning to feel the bite of Winter...imagine yourselves here:
(if you've seen Florida photos on my FB page, you've seen these already)

  

These first two shots are Manasota Beach about 20 minutes northwest of Port Charlotte

 

 

 

These two are at Boca Grande, Southwest of P.C.

 

 

 

 

This left one is the Skyway Bridge linking Sarasota to St. Petersburg; the other is the same area just after the bridge.

 

Shots of Clearwater are still unedited, but I'll throw them up here later.

I've taken one or two quick looks at my Google Reader; I have no idea how I will ever catch up.

Hope you're all staying warm, had a great Halloween/Samhein/whatever fall thing you may celebrate, and got all the fall gardening done. I'm hoping for a couple of warm days to do a little of mine.

May all be well with you. : )

From the road...

As you might guess, I'm having too much fun to spend a great deal of time on the computer!

We're still in Florida, USA and enjoying lovely weather. The native Floridians think it is cold here - nights have been into the 50 degree (F) range from time to time. Makes me laugh, really. Back home in the mountains of New Mexico our friends are REALLY cold. Nights there have been into the 30 degree range and the heaters are on. Poor babies.

Yesterday, we spent a few hours on Manasota Beach. I had hoped to insert a picture or two, but I am on a friend's computer and ...well... it's just this way. This link will show you a few lovely things even though they are not my own pictures.

Also, due to technical difficulties with the internet connection here at my friend's house, I'm also not able to check up on my Google Reader links and so haven't found most of you. I'm woefully behind on checking up on what you are up to these days. I confess, I really only miss you while I'm having my morning coffee; otherwise, I'm just having way too much fun.

We'll settle in by a good WiFi connection one of these days and I'll check in. Meanwhile, may all be well with you.

ttfn

A general FYI and a note about upcoming stuff

I'm still on a pet-job and haven't been on my own computer in a week. And on Monday, we leave on our road trip to Florida. We'll be gone at least 3 weeks, I think. Dates are tentative, return a sure thing but unscheduled.

I'm WAY far behind on my Google Reader subscriptions, so if you're counting me among the missing, just know that I will be back one day...  : )  (Wanna meet me on the beach?)

Now, just in case any of you followed some of my links to posts by Laura regarding her work on death & dying...OR...if you are interested in that subject for any reason, I want to point you that way again.

Her blog site is here.

Some of her latest ideas are in this particular blog post.

Without going on too much, I will tell you that Laura was my business coach for awhile, and we bacame good friends after that. She has excellent credentials for her next steps - which seem likely to be workshops on the themes of conscious living, and on conscious death & dying - both for oneself, posssibly, and certainly for living through this process for those you love.

I've gotta go; the dogs are ready for their walk, and they mean NOW! But I wanted to do this in case I don't get back here for a few days.

TTFN
and May all be well with you.

Movin' on... as we do.

Michael's still gone; and Nancy is now in Florida. And life goes on. as it should.

Laura is doing well, as near as I can tell, and that's right, too. She did a prodigious amount of work to be as ready as possible to say goodbye to him.

Now it is time for other things. I can happily say that I am currently distracted by some wonderful bloggers and by the advent of a Ball - a virtual Ball, complete with Black Tie and dancing. I'm off to shop to see if I can find something wonderful to wear. I can't wait! Though getting ready in just two days will be a real challenge.

I learned of this from a terrific blogger named Ruth, who blogs at Synch-ro-ni-zing. You might enjoy her, too.  It is hosted by Willow of Life at Willow Manor. At the moment, I'm gate-crashing, but I hope to stop in at WM and let him know if I can make it. Do join me; it sounds like fun!

A rambling game of "What If"

When I fell into retirement eight years ago (age 58), I didn’t know that it was happening. I thought I was taking some time off to finish some schooling and then begin a new career. The time from then to now has been a bit of a ramble: fits and starts, exploration and insploration, all of it interesting, some of it hard, all of it …transformative.

If, or when, I thought about retirement at all, it was first a desire to escape the corporate madness and then to go more slooowwwwwly.

Now I find there are not enough hours in the day for all I’m drawn to do. Sometimes I follow where my impulses lead me; sometimes I stick to the game plan. And now I’m coming to like both, judge neither, and be wherever I am in the moment.

This morning, I was wandering some blogs I read regularly and came across this post at Synch-ro-ni-zing that made me think. Ruth often does. She doesn’t know me yet, because I’ve been lurking there and haven’t commented yet. She mentioned another blog post that I fully intended to go read…but when I found a comment from the writer in question I was compelled to click over to her post immediately. Lovely You writes at The Good In You. So now I’m lurking in the background of two blogs fairly new to me and find that I am now compelled to work on some thoughts I’ve been having for awhile now…

First: Thanks Ruth and Lovely You for today’s inspiration; for the crystal clarity of your written words; and for the beauty of those parts you allow us to see.

So, on to the game of What If.

My journey has brought me to this place today where I consider that All Is Well. I consider that the thought might be actually and literally true.
The trail to that conclusion goes something like this:

·        What if there really is only one god? An energy that pervades and is all, and is in me, too? (and in you, and in that rock, and in weather, etc…)?

·        What if God is good – only good? And those things that look bad to me are only indications of a separation from that energy – and not really real, since god is everything and All is Well?

·        What if the circumstances a/o events in the world that seem not good, are only illusions manifested as contrast so that I can learn from them about how to stay connected to the only one good god?

·        What if it is true that thoughts and words and focus have energy of their own?

·        What if those things to which I give my attention get bigger or more intense?

·        What if I can change my personal world by where, how, and upon what I focus my attention and my intention?

·        What if the collective we can change the entire physical world by where, how, and upon what we focus our attention and our intention?

And here are a few observations about the world ‘as it is’.
We are being fed a completely disproportionate amount of bad news thru various media: TV news and pharmaceutical and insurance ads, preachers, peers, etc. Where are the stories of the everyday lives and loves of US?  We are being led strongly into fear by these same groups who want to sell us things, or save us; who want us to feel powerless to change anything without relying on them or their products.
In my little world, my own experimentation has proven to me that I can affect the quality of my life by shifting my focus to the positive; and by seeing all people and things and circumstances as they really exist in the mind of god - as perfect.

By creating and holding this vision, I do transform myself and my environment. It seems a clear and compelling vision that can, and does, really impact the whole planet.  And to see the world ‘as it is’ in the news, for example, is to add to the energy that maintains the suffering we think is real.

For example: (and I wouldn’t, in other circumstance than this blog, even bring up this subject)
The Gulf oil spill. I am not able to go there and walk the beaches and actually make physical changes in what is happening there. Nor do I have the energy to stay here and collect hair or hay and send it for the reclamation efforts.
For me to then hold it in my mind, and brood on it, or see it as disaster, or feel grief, or lament out loud about the whys and wherefores only serves to feed more energy into the thing itself. To listen to the countless hours of such lamenting on ‘news’ programs does the same thing.

I think it is my purpose to see a bigger picture: to see a planet that has taken care of itself for millennia, and will survive and thrive. I think I must watch my words and my mind and heart to transform all of them to positive loving things that uplift. To be sad or angry about things I am totally unable to affect is to add energy to them and does not transform;

There is a phrase in one of the comments, “My heart is now likely to break, from fullness though, not from sadness.”; and I would suggest that just changing from ‘likely to break’ to ‘overflowing with’ might transform the hearts involved, including mine.

I’m new (in some ways) to thoughts like these. I’m sure they will evolve as I continue to explore. And the evidence in my own life suggests that I’m on the right track – at least for me – at least for now.

I found this poem in the sidebar of Ruth’s blog:
THE PEACE OF WILD THINGS

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
— Wendell Berry  

More on my love/hate relationship with computers...

Today I'm typing from a friend's computer while on a short pet-sitting job. She uses AOL to get to the 'net', and I don't like it!
So I'll learn patience and flexibility. Cool...

This job is just for two days or I would have brought my own - but then, that's not such a great deal either. It's approaching the time to purchase another one, but I confess that it rankles just a bit.
And the rankling rankles! This 'going with the flow' stuff is tricky to navigate.

I was just reminded (Thanks, Marcia) about the interesting people one can meet thru blogging and other social networks by my recent discovery of this terrific blog: Well Aged with Some Marbling.
Marcia is funny and insightful and writes well. You might enjoy it, too.
But in using AOL, with which I am very unfamiliar, in trying to link with her and respond to her - I found myself really missing the Tabs available in other browsers. I'm sure there is a way to open Firefox or something, but I hesitate to mess too much with someone else's computer.

I've also been exploring the channeled works of Abraham, a collection of 'beings in non-human form' who manifest in this plane though a woman named Esther. Excerpts are now appearing up top in the left sidebar on this blog.
I must say, I have no strong feeling one way or the other about 'channeling'. I used to poo-poo it; there was probably a time when I would have considered it charlatanism or down-right evil. What moves me in the words of Abraham are my feelings of complete rightness in what I'm hearing. You'll have to decide for yourself, both whether to look or not - to allow or not.

I have found that I can not ignore what I'm hearing. For a very long time I've held the belief (with many others) that our thoughts and words have energy of their own, and I work consistently to make my thoughts & language intentional. Abraham teaches that, too. Basically, they teach the Law of Attraction - though when that came to me in the form of The Secret, I could not run fast enough in another direction. Funny, this mind of mine.  Because here I am now, caught hook line and sinker and enjoying the ride immensely. I'll be speaking of it more in the future, I'm sure.

So, back to computers and rankling... I'm torn between just buying one, and the frustration of knowing that it, too, will succumbto obsolescence and short-term memory problems some time in a future nearer than I think appropriate.  ...sigh...  According to Abraham, if I stay in the flow and focus on what I want, the right computer will appear at the right time, at the right price, and will be perfect in every way.

As in all things - UP UNTIL NOW - my skeptical mind is OK with the theory, but the faith is has been harder to come by. Practice, practice, practice...

Which calls Jim to mind. My T'ai Chi teacher and friend. though I have been taking his classes for several years now, and even leading the class now & then when he must be away, I have yet to create a consistent daily practice - of T'ai Chi or any other discipline. To Jim, that's laziness. And to me, too, really. I don't want to hear that, though. (I'm thinking of you, too, Laura.)   :)

On Wednesday, I start a new pet-sitting job that will last 6 weeks. Forty-two days seems like a good length of time for starting a new habit, refocusing my mind, and creating a daily practice. I'm making a commitment to myself to do that, and I'll tell you here how it's going from time to time.

It will include T'ai Chi, my bass, and a daily workshop as described by Abraham. It may or may not include meditation.
So, what might be different this time? We'll see...

TTFN...

The Lady and the Reaper

This one cracks me up on SO many levels!

Enjoy

Thanks for sharing, Ronni.

Last Day on the Hillside

Another windy day. Brrrrr
Happy to be going home

I'll be sleeping at home tonight. ; D

Current cuties

Here are the two little cuties that are brightening my days away from home.

The gray one is Phazie (Phaedra) and Bobby is the other one.  

And here is just one of many gorgeous skyscapes from this location.

This one is of our first (tiny) snowfall - Oct. 3rd. You'll have to click it (for the larger image to even see it!) This one was taken near HMHC.

Thought about the ES experience.

I'll be really glad when Thursday rolls around and the ship commitment is over, but it has not been all bad. In fact, the stuff I have not enjoyed has taught me more, AND allowed me to appreciate the stuff I do enjoy; like today's sunshine, the gorgeous skies (in all kinds of weather), and the quiet. And I learned that quiet is relative and often generated internally...

amazing, huh?

Testing post-by-email

I'm at windstream emailing a post to see how this feature of Typepad works Also attaching a photo.

Wow!
That was almost instantaneous!!! The photo was handled automatically, too.
I call this one 'shadow shot'; from left to right: folding camp chair, me, Schatz.

It's been awhile...

Happy Sunday Afternoon...to be followed shortly by wishes for ...Happy Labor Day. (tho I hope you don't have to labor over anything tomorrow...)

I'm out at the Earthship Adventure. I was planning to add some photos to my FB page, but that application seems to be having trouble...for a couple of days. Here's a cool site that gives a little overview of Earthship construction and operation. THIS one is not exactly like those in the link, but is VERY similar. Not all 'systems' are operational yet.

All I really want to do is sleep and whine. It's too hot for the former, and just too horrible to contemplate the latter, so I'll post some of the photos I was going to put on FB.

Exterior -

                                   

and now I'm having problems with this..............Aaarrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhh!!! Check the link above; it shows great stuff about earthships and has some videos also.  I'm going outside to throw rocks.

an ELK for Christmas!

I can scarcely believe what I saw this morning - right outside the house. That woods is directly across the street! He's HUGE.

This shot was taken by my friend, Shaula, who lives up the hill and got a couple of good head-on shots.

My shots are all butt-end ones... but just wait until tomorrow.
Some (other) neighbors are putting out deer corn and I'm told this big guy has been coming around a lot. I'll be out in the morning all bundled up and ready with my camera.

And here's Shaula - she, like me, was still sipping coffee when we started the phone calls flying. When I took this photo, the elk was only about twice as far from Shaula as she is from the edge of the road.

Thankfully, it did not occur to her to snap a shot of me!

Kitten Update - Oct. 4th 2007

I see that you have not been blessed (?) with new pictures of our babies since April and April and ! Oh, no - how remiss of me...just a minute, let me pull out the photos...

It's very hard to get them all in the same frame anymore, and they no longer sleep in a little pile of orange fur-all together.
But here you go, anyway...

                               

These two above are from June - they still have not been outside, but not for lack of wanting to go... in the photo on the right, they have to stand on a box to see out the front door.

This one is in July, shortly after they were micro-chipped and got their new halters. I didn't realize how reflective the halters were until I saw this shot taken with a flash.

Now, we're into August - This is Mango, aka Mangolese.

Same time in August - this is Carmel, aka Carmelicious

And here is Punkin' Pie, aka Pretty in Pink Miss Pumpkin Pie
(yes, I know, but this one is a drag queen!)

They are litter mates - triplets and very hard to tell apart without the different colors on the halters.
But Carmel is definitely the old man. He' quite a bit bigger, larger more solid head, with a quieter temperament. He was also the first to suffer from a neighborhood battle wound. We're not sure if it was at the hands of one of his siblings or some rogue bully. He ended up with stitches and some quarantine time (that NObody liked since we made them all stay in). But he's fine, and he's gotten over the issue of my hands being the ones that tricked him at meds time.
He loves a good shoulder rub - first cat I've had that preferred that over head massages.

We started out calling Mango GoManGo; he likes climbing and daring stunts. But it was actually Pumpkin, the baby, who made the first successful hunt. Her prey of choice at that time was grasshoppers. Fortunately, she usually played them to death before bringing them in, so it wasn't too traumatic for the Moms.

It wasn't long, though, until they advanced to birds - still thankfully used up by the time they were presented.
BUT -

I just had to leave this post to help Joel try to rescue a little chipmunk from our bedroom. It is NOT dead, not even wounded, but very scared and probably more than a little pissed off.  So are the cats, btw, since we locked them up while we tried the rescue mission.
We don't really know if the mission was successful. We had created a clear (to us, at least) path to the open front door, but we lost track of the little critter.
Hope we don't learn of his/her whereabouts in the middle of the night!!

So back to pics:

All the rest of these are from yesterday, Oct. 3rd.
This is one I call Carmel on the Rocks.

A rare shot of the three of them together. It took 'candy' to make it happen and they wouldn't pose...go figure.
Mango, Pumpkin, & Carmel clockwise from nine o'clock.

This is Mango enjoying a culvert. We have three: one at each end of our curved driveway, and one that goes under the street. They LOVE them.

And here are Carmel (back) and Pumpkin (foreground) across the street visiting with some deer who were enjoying the neighbor's lilac bush. I have one of them nose to nose with a deer in a video, but I'll have to learn to edit it first...

The training still works. They will tolerate leashes; they come to a call or a clicker (and expect candy), they don't freak out in the car or the small carrier that takes them to the vet. But we made some mistakes in the way we introduced - and failed to introduce - them to our bedroom.  We are now paying the price for that. Hard to remember proper parenting at 3am.

And they are worth it! What little treasures.

Damn, I'm Good!

(Originally posted to www.katethoughts.blogspot.com on 10.23.05)

It's nearly noon on Sunday and I'm still high as a kite!

We rocked the house last night. In a huge way. They stomped, shouted, clapped and cried. We had grown men crying. What a freakin' RUSH!!

And thanks, Laura, for an excellent lead-in on your own blog today.

I showed some folks a thing or two about me last night that surprised the hell out of them. (A big part of the fun, don't you know!) And I loved it. Really! BIG TIME!! And I wouldn't take back a single instant.

I was 'on', I was prepared, I was confident, and WE ALL KNEW IT!

(I learned a couple of things about myself, too.....get to those in a minute.)

Here's what's what, and how it came about:
I got involved with a group who is trying to address the problem of Domestic Violence in our county by creating a shelter for women. I'm steering a research committee, no very big deal.
Things are going great. The governor is behind us, we have a prof. grant writer on the (newly created) board, we've already received enough (over 1/2 million $) to buy a building and begin plans for rennovation.
With a board created and 501-C3 granted, it came time for the first big fund-raiser.
Board member, Steve 'just happens' to be a show producer with successes for other non-profits. He put this together. I'm not certain how long he has worked on it, but I think it can not possibly be more than 2-3 months. (Amazing in itself)

Every number used music about domestic violence or surviving dv.
He did not plan to leave people unmoved.

He got the Spencer Theater to cut their costs drastically for us. Several of their full-time, santioned, high-dollar tech people DONATED their time and talents to us.
He called on everyone he knew to send him interested performers who are NOT known, generally, to be singers. (He heard me at a small dinner party ad-libbing to a song I'd never heard before, and reading words off of liner notes.)

He talked the local dance studio into staging one number.
He got approvals to use videos from performers like Martina McBride, Stevie Wonder, Big & Rich, Ashanti, etc. He found outstanding Karaoke versions of these songs, and sometimes had to have them professionally transposed. In short, he worked his little butt off!!

And we put on a show!

There was one kid, Hanna, can't be more than about 13-14. She sang Independence Day and set folks back on their heels! She also got the first mid-song response -cheers & applause- and just barreled right on through. It did not throw her a bit; she ate it up and fed it back to them. What a trooper!

I sang harmony with Steve to the Big & Rich song called Holy Water.
Before that dinner party, I had never heard of Big & Rich. And I didn't know Steve could sing. And can he, ever!

I know several things I didn't know before:

• Dragon-slaying and its related activities translates to on-stage success, too.
• All those years of thrashing around in my 'shit' helped me get a handle on the importance of dreams and fantasies, i.e. don't pass up the chance to live one - EVER!
• There really is only Now. When you know it, believe it, and commit to it, there is no room for anything else - no nerves, no fear, no holding back...I will never pass this way again.
• I really CAN sing.
• I 'clean-up' GOOD. (Can't wait to post the pictures!)
• Performance success happens in your head and your heart, first, not in your voice, or your hands, or your feet.
• I still remember how to apply make-up! Not a small feat after 12 or so years without.
• It does not require Oprah to make your own wildest dreams come true.

You will never know, really, how I feel about my experience last night. What I hope for you is an experience like that of your own.

Say Yes.