KateThoughts

Laura; right here and in person (so to speak)

How to recreate yourself after a crisis.

 

I'll have more to say as I work on my own stuff. I thought a few of you might like to 'meet' Laura in a different way.

A general FYI and a note about upcoming stuff

I'm still on a pet-job and haven't been on my own computer in a week. And on Monday, we leave on our road trip to Florida. We'll be gone at least 3 weeks, I think. Dates are tentative, return a sure thing but unscheduled.

I'm WAY far behind on my Google Reader subscriptions, so if you're counting me among the missing, just know that I will be back one day...  : )  (Wanna meet me on the beach?)

Now, just in case any of you followed some of my links to posts by Laura regarding her work on death & dying...OR...if you are interested in that subject for any reason, I want to point you that way again.

Her blog site is here.

Some of her latest ideas are in this particular blog post.

Without going on too much, I will tell you that Laura was my business coach for awhile, and we bacame good friends after that. She has excellent credentials for her next steps - which seem likely to be workshops on the themes of conscious living, and on conscious death & dying - both for oneself, posssibly, and certainly for living through this process for those you love.

I've gotta go; the dogs are ready for their walk, and they mean NOW! But I wanted to do this in case I don't get back here for a few days.

TTFN
and May all be well with you.

Harvard Medical School recommends Tai Chi...again.

Harvard University Medical School has just published a report on “The Health Benefits of Tai Chi” that calls Tai Chi “medication in motion.” Since Tai Chi is a subset of Qigong, all of this information applies to Qigong as well. It cites research for “No Pain, Big Gains” including improvements in muscle strength, flexibility, balance, and aerobic conditioning. Under the category “Tai Chi for Medical Conditions” it recommends Tai Chi as complementary therapy for arthritis, low bone density, breast cancer, heart disease, heart failure, hypertension, Parkinson’s disease, sleep problems, and stroke.

This article is written in plain English, not medical jargon.

And I can testify that these claims are true. I've been taking classes and practicing for about 5 years. We do the Yang form; my teacher trained under Grandmaster William C.C. Chen in New York, USA, and others. I was lucky enough to attend a weekend workshop with him in 2007 in Phoenix.

I love this class. I would say that my biggest gains from this would be in flexibility and balance, but I also see gains in lower body strength and Much less fear of falling. I have chronic spinal issues, and though it has not been 'officially' diagnosed, I suspect that arthritis is creeping into my hip joints. A few times through the form in the morning helps tremendously in getting past that morning stiffness. Also, my regular breathing is deeper and slower, and I am able to relax much more completely. Just the body awareness alone is worth the exercise. And I even walk a little differently now: more confidently and relaxed.

There are many ways to learn. The article referenced here even mentions books and video, but I would strongly recommend a real live teacher. If that is not available to you, then I suggest something like Lee Holden's DVD on QiGong for Seniors. We have this loaded into our home DVD player and also my laptop for when we travel.

I'm going to put a couple of YouTube links in this post, but there are nuances that you just won't catch all by yourself. And most of the videos I've found are showing people in positions that might be inappropriate for some individuals, or just slightly too low or stretched; and of course, they cannot take into consideration any of your physical issues in the way that a live teacher can. And in one of my favorite videos the teacher, Tiffany Chen, is performing a mirror-image version of the words she is speaking. You might want to watch this one with the sound off!

This video is of Grandmaster William Chen leading a repetition of the first few moves. (mirror image again)

There are literally tons of tai chi videos available on YouTube; some are good, some not, and in most cases, I just don't have the experience to comment. I have had only two teachers so far, and practiced only one style: Grandmaster W.C.C. Chen's version of the Yang form. Have fun if you go exploring.

 

Catching Up with 'fates', 'what-ifs', 'as-it-is', etc....and why I've been gone...

I've been off this site a few days playing with my guitar - and I mean that in every fun way possible. Such wonderful play. For those who don't know yet, I am learning/re-learning to play bass; this time an acoustic one that also accepts an amplifier...for my future concerts, I suppose!   : )

I call it a chass, though, (pronounced chase, to rhyme) because I had a cello foot added to it. The bass is BIG and it was tricky to hold in front of my buddha belly, and because my wrists are happier this way, too. And because it's quirky and different.

Here it is in all its glory:

You can see the foot in its retracted position.

I've just fallen in love with it. Years ago - almost 30! - I played an electric bass with a local (and very bad) bluegrass band who mostly played for fun at each others' parties. That was usually a two-note oompa kind of thing. Took very little skill and was much fun, too, though not the same fun I'm having now.

This time, I'm really learning, starting (and continuing) with scales and various exercises and working with a great teacher once a week. Most of his students are 6-string players, as is he, so I'm learning bass parts to things from their repertoires in preparation for a' recital' at a local tavern. I use the term recital very loosely here.

And I learned "When I'm 64" by the Beatles". I had to work quickly on that; I have only one more year before I'm too old to sing it - or have to change the number. How about 'When I'm 94'?! Just now, I'm polishing up Blackbird also by the Beatles.

***********************

But, back to the point of this post.

The oldest post in this particular stream is "...What-ifs". In that one I began to touch on some of the ideas I'm exploring and implementing in my life right now. Some of the comments on that post inspired the next one: "Continuing ..." and really dealt with semantics and perhaps a tiny bit of expansion of the ideas expressed before. More comments and some great support on that post then prompted "IF the fates...", and in a comment there Ruth asked about my background and a bit of the story of how I came to think like this.

First, let me say that conversation like this is the true beauty and glory of blogging and why I may never stop it. Yes, there is some ego stroking involved; but even more than that, the comments make me think and require that I be as clear as possible.

I gave Ruth some very brief answers in an email, but I will expand here a little more.

But I want to acknowledge my reticence about all of this, especially the discussing of it in this more or less public format. You'll understand that when I tell you that I grew up in a middle class family in Texas, the oldest child of a divorced woman in an era when that was rare. We were fundamental evangelical Christians before those terms were widely applied to us, and I was completely immersed in the Church; to the extent that I taught Sunday School and participated in one 'foreign' mission just after high school. That mission was to Liverpool, England and was the beginning of my questioning. A year after that, I went to a Christian college. Interestingly enough I began to explore freedom there. Another whole story, and not for right now.  

To this day, most of my biological family still hold those beliefs and are very active in their participation. Some are quite likely to consider that I have fallen away from the church and are likely to consider that I am some major sinner. But then, by their lights, we are all sinners and only have a possibility of being anything else by virtue of Jesus's sacrifice.  (I could riff off on that topic, too, but won't do so here and now.)

My family is wonderful. They are loving and generous. They just think I'm wrong. They hope I will 'come back' to the fold.
It threw a few of them for a loop when I realized I was gay, and married my wife over 16 years ago. But they are nothing, if not civil. They treat us well, love us as they can, and never turn a cold shoulder. I am very proud of my heritage. I just don't agree with them. In my family this kind of difference of opinion seems to close conversation rather than opening one.

Most of them, I think, do not know of this blog. I do know that in the past, my sister has read this. She never comments on it, and only once sent an email to me about some particular post, and that was to reach out and reassure me during a period of the glooms in my life.
I would not willingly hurt them, though I know that I have done so in the past, and that some may feel hurt by what they think about my current religious condition.

Wow, that was a much longer ramble than I intended, but I will leave it. Susan, if you're reading...well, I love you. Comment or email if you will.

Over the next forty years I explored several traditional religions, was an active Episcopalian for a number of years, was introduced to New Age thought, rejected it, came back, learned a lot about myself through various therapies including a 12-step program and several psychologists. I'm still learning. I knew, and know, a lot about what I 'should' be and do, and for decades I KNEW that I was not worthy of ...much of anything. I have always felt a very strong pull toward god, and would have joined a convent if I could have. These days I would still join one, if it weren't Christian. A contemplative life would suit me very well. (Though, I suppose that The Singing Nun has already been done.)

The thoughts and ideas that work for me now are the ones that I have found to be consistent across all of the religions/spiritual ideas that I have explored: those ideas that I am a piece of God; that I can co-create my life and its conditions by my thoughts, intentions, and energy; that I am not separate from - or different from - god, or you, or the air, or that rock over there. And most especially, right now, the idea that my thoughts, words, and actions do in fact manifest in my life constantly and consistently when I align my vibrational energy to that Stream of energy we often call God. (But could as easily and accurately call Source, Divine Mind, Cosmic Consciousness or ...whatever.)

Right now, the voice speaking to me most clearly is that of Abraham, a group of non-physical beings who speak through a woman named Esther Hicks.

There is a daily quote that appears in the top left sidebar that comes from their website and they are all over the place. Many people post their material; Esther is the one in the black pantsuit. The material is Law of Attraction. It is NOT 'The Secret'. The material from the book/DVD known as The Secret turned me off completely for several reasons. Though Esther and Jerry Hicks were part of the original film, they withdrew when circumstances of the agreements changed. If you are interested in that, you can hear Esther and Jerry comment here. I think that this may be some of the deleted scenes to which they refer. There are many postings to YouTube, including those who want to judge this material as being 'of the devil'...whatever that may mean.

Some people call what happens with Esther 'channeling'. She does not. Nor do I have an opinion about that. I don't care what it is. For me, what it is is Truth. It gives me goosebumps and makes me joyful in ways that my family church did not. It is eliminating my need to judge others, and beginning to relieve many stresses in my life. It's working for me. That is all that really matters to me. I feel closer to god - all the time. And I don't really care whether it resonates for you or not. I believe that each individual is quite capable of choosing their own spiritual path and that none of them are wrong. Most importantly to me, this current path is allowing me to deal with self-esteem issues that have endured for decades. I feel now that I am actually worthy of a complete and close relationship with that energy commonly called God. I don't know her/his/its name (though I'd still like to know). I don't use the God word usually because so many make assumptions about what I mean. And I no longer consider myself a Christian. I'm just me. One with all things.

You know...this has gone on much longer than I intended, and in looking for these links for you, I find I want to take a break and listen to Abraham some more. They are right here ....

see you later.

eeeekkk..... will I leave the Facebook button checked?...........what a coward I have remained...

Continuing the "Fates" conversation.

Ursula, the words that work for me may not be the ones that work for you. Even English words won't mean the same for women who are native speakers of two different languages. Then when you add on the variances of dialect, or education, or colloquialisms you sink in a murky pool of who knows what.

In my mind 'accept' or 'acceptance' can have an element of judgment such as is implied here:
"2 : to give admittance or approval to <accept her as one of the group>"

or it carries a negative emotion for me as in this:
"a : to endure without protest or reaction <accept poor living conditions> b : to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable <the idea is widely accepted>"

On the other hand, to allow seems to connote more freedom:

1.

to give permission to or for; permit: to allow a student to be absent; No swimming allowed.

2.

to let have; give as one's share; grant as one's right: to allow a person $100 for expenses.

3.

to permit by neglect, oversight, or the like: to allow a door to remain open.

4.

to admit; acknowledge; concede: to allow a claim.

5.

to take into consideration, as by adding or subtracting; set apart: to allow an hour for changing trains.

(I was happy to note that I understand these words in ways that match up with the dictionary.) : )

The other place, Ursula, where I take a different route is that I believe that no circumstance in the world 'out there' needs changing.
(I feel as if I am sticking my neck out here, but ...
writing it may help it all come clearer for me, too.)

I think that all these circumstances that so many of us think need changing, would completely disappear if we took all of our attention away from them. That's how I understand the bottom line of my present spiritual position. The ONLY things that I can change are the circumstances of my own life in my own space, relationships, economics, etc.

And the best way to change a circumstance in my life that I do not want is to turn my attention away from that, and create what I DO want by consciously intending/creating that picture and then allowing it to come to me - because Source has already said Yes. I just need to get in the right river. In the flow ... 

no more....more rumination needed...or maybe just some Rumi.   :)

IF the Fates Allow...

Do the fates allow? Are there Fates? hmmm...    

I think not.

(This post is growing out of inspiration from Ursula in her comment on my previous post.
Thanks, Ursula; this kind of conversation is one of the main reasons I blog. )

Now then: for me, No Fates.
I've always had a problem with trying to understand or believe in a god that could say to her/his/? children, "No. He can have that, but you can't." Or "suffering" makes you holy".

What I've come to understand and believe now is that there is Source -(One) (God) (Cosmic Mind)- whatever name it has/uses - we use - it is all the same. And that One has manifested all over this planet as the things we see: humans, animals, rocks, weather, everything pretty much that we might associate with a loving spiritual entity.

And my circumstances in this life on this planet is directly related to my personal allowing of that Source to operate in, as, and through me. 

This belief is changing the way I look at everything. Most especially at myself.
It's not scary this time.
When I'm in the flow of the energy of Source, I am joyful. The lessons come in learning to stay in that flow; how to notice when I'm not in it; and the steps to take to return to it as soon as possible.

These theories also buck a lot of my religious background, the beliefs of people close to me - indeed, a great deal of the population! So I tussle with myself from time to time - sometimes hour to hour : )

This is all you get today. Deep - must sit with it/in it... later friends

As it is...?

Life as it is.
That's just the way things go.
That's how it is.
We've always done it that way.

Oh,yeah?

well...

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.
You can't fix the problem with the same thinking that caused the problem.

There are tons of examples for ignoring what is in favor of what one wants.
Like the basketball players who visualize making baskets to improve their shooting. 

I imagine it a bit like skeet shooting in sloooww motion.
Life is the target moving thru the air..the what is.
I don't aim at what is. I must aim out in front of that.
I must imagine where the target will be when my bullet gets there.
And once I've pulled the trigger, I'm done. Nothing else to do but wait.

OK>>>that's a really bad analogy, but all you're getting today. MUCH more fun things to do... I just want to say that LIFE - as it is -  ain't all that much, and focusing on what (you think) IS, won't get you to where you COULD be. ever.

More on my love/hate relationship with computers...

Today I'm typing from a friend's computer while on a short pet-sitting job. She uses AOL to get to the 'net', and I don't like it!
So I'll learn patience and flexibility. Cool...

This job is just for two days or I would have brought my own - but then, that's not such a great deal either. It's approaching the time to purchase another one, but I confess that it rankles just a bit.
And the rankling rankles! This 'going with the flow' stuff is tricky to navigate.

I was just reminded (Thanks, Marcia) about the interesting people one can meet thru blogging and other social networks by my recent discovery of this terrific blog: Well Aged with Some Marbling.
Marcia is funny and insightful and writes well. You might enjoy it, too.
But in using AOL, with which I am very unfamiliar, in trying to link with her and respond to her - I found myself really missing the Tabs available in other browsers. I'm sure there is a way to open Firefox or something, but I hesitate to mess too much with someone else's computer.

I've also been exploring the channeled works of Abraham, a collection of 'beings in non-human form' who manifest in this plane though a woman named Esther. Excerpts are now appearing up top in the left sidebar on this blog.
I must say, I have no strong feeling one way or the other about 'channeling'. I used to poo-poo it; there was probably a time when I would have considered it charlatanism or down-right evil. What moves me in the words of Abraham are my feelings of complete rightness in what I'm hearing. You'll have to decide for yourself, both whether to look or not - to allow or not.

I have found that I can not ignore what I'm hearing. For a very long time I've held the belief (with many others) that our thoughts and words have energy of their own, and I work consistently to make my thoughts & language intentional. Abraham teaches that, too. Basically, they teach the Law of Attraction - though when that came to me in the form of The Secret, I could not run fast enough in another direction. Funny, this mind of mine.  Because here I am now, caught hook line and sinker and enjoying the ride immensely. I'll be speaking of it more in the future, I'm sure.

So, back to computers and rankling... I'm torn between just buying one, and the frustration of knowing that it, too, will succumbto obsolescence and short-term memory problems some time in a future nearer than I think appropriate.  ...sigh...  According to Abraham, if I stay in the flow and focus on what I want, the right computer will appear at the right time, at the right price, and will be perfect in every way.

As in all things - UP UNTIL NOW - my skeptical mind is OK with the theory, but the faith is has been harder to come by. Practice, practice, practice...

Which calls Jim to mind. My T'ai Chi teacher and friend. though I have been taking his classes for several years now, and even leading the class now & then when he must be away, I have yet to create a consistent daily practice - of T'ai Chi or any other discipline. To Jim, that's laziness. And to me, too, really. I don't want to hear that, though. (I'm thinking of you, too, Laura.)   :)

On Wednesday, I start a new pet-sitting job that will last 6 weeks. Forty-two days seems like a good length of time for starting a new habit, refocusing my mind, and creating a daily practice. I'm making a commitment to myself to do that, and I'll tell you here how it's going from time to time.

It will include T'ai Chi, my bass, and a daily workshop as described by Abraham. It may or may not include meditation.
So, what might be different this time? We'll see...

TTFN...

Rumi speaks to me...again

I opened The Essential Rumi to this poem last night. Does it speak to you, too?

Who Says Words with My Mouth?

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I'll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.

This poetry, I never know what I'm going to say.
I don't plan it.
when I'm outside the saying of it,
I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

Alan Watts on Life & Music

Laura posted this today and I am compelled to save it here.
THIS IS IMPORTANT! and I'm not kidding.

Want to be like water...

...head uphill no more...

I didn't know Judi Dench could crack me up one minute and make me cry the next.

and then there is this clip from A Little Night Music: There is a short set-up that will give extra weight to the song...

You know, it is one thing to carry strong emotion thru a play. It is another, and much more dificult thing, to get to that emotion in just a few minutes and from an interview.
Dame Judi Dench: a true master of her craft.  There are other videos  if you care to search.

Braggin' on my brother

My bro, the genius. :)

further exploration into my egoic minefield...

I'm reading A New Earth and taking part in a study group. I joined for a couple of reasons that could be labeled as wrong, except that they got me there. Now, I'm working and thinking and exploring again.

Ego.

I've had bits and pieces of understanding about the ego, and in a small part, MY ego for a long time. I'm only just beginning to see some really fundamental issues with mine in new ways that will help me to continue growing.

One egoic role that Tolle mentions is that of 'adult'. I'd never thought of it - adulthood - as a role. But, I can see that it  certainly has become one for me. He says this, "When you play that role, you take yourself and life very seriously. Spontaneity, lightheartedness, and joy are not part of that role."

Well, hey. Guess who that is.

And as I think about my self and current circumstances in the light of this understanding, I can understand how I got so (temporarily) insane over the state of our personal economy. While the drop in income was certainly startling, the panic really arose from my ego over what  people would think about me if I feel behind in the bills, or had to shut off services. And never mind that history has proven I always have enough.

But, a key discovery I made just in the last couple of days is this:
In spite of years of exposure to tons of traditional and esoteric material about Spirit, I still hold held the fundamental concept of God as BIG, powerful, MALE, extremely judgmental, and primarily punishing. Suffering & sin was the accepted condition for me. I was supposed to go thru this life as a less-than, supposed to put myself last, supposed to work hard for an impossible goal and hope for a reward when I am dead.

And even though ALL of my reading & experience over a couple of decades has told me otherwise, there was that in me that held on to such a belief. What made it so powerful, I think, is that the fundamental picture remained unconscious; remained a part of my egoic role. I have avoided using the word God to describe whatever pulls me toward it, which makes sense now, when that word connotes all that makes made me afraid to be.

This seems to make sense also when I consider my HUGE resistance to all things related to self-care and spiritual Practice. And I do mean practice with a capital P. How can I take time to practice T'ai Chi when I have not yet answered emails or edited that article or finished that project for.. whomever. All of those things have been more important than I, who must be last. And never mind that Jesus said, "love your neighbor as yourself". Never mind that He told us we could all 'do' and be as he was.

I finally left church for the same reason I stopped attending a 12 step program. Both of them had me believe, and SAY OUT LOUD, that I am broken, and required that I label myself as something: codependent, a sinner, or a servant. Neither one allowed me to be, or even to consider that I MIGHT be, an expression of Spirit manifesting on this plane.

Now, at this moment, I don't care about The Truth. I think there may be one; Tolle says there is, and calls it love. Makes sense - it's a good truth. Jesus called it that, too.
What is important now is to discover MY truth.
Who am I when I'm not in my adult role, or my caretaking role, or my 'little professor' role?
I aim to find out.

Interesting discoveries. Interesting life. Wonder what's next.

The In-Between State

Here's a timely reminder from a good friend (Thanks, Mike) and a favorite author, Pema Chodron.

" We are told about the pain of chasing after pleasure and the futility of running from pain. We hear also about the joy of awakening, of realizing our interconnectedness, of trusting the openness of our hearts and minds. But we aren’t told all that much about this state of being in-between, no longer able to get our old comfort from the outside but not yet dwelling in a continual sense of equanimity and warmth. Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not only hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength. Yet it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are on familiar ground. But something has shaken up our habitual patterns and frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it. This open-ended tender place is called bodhichitta. Staying with it is what heals. It allows us to let go of our self-importance. It’s how the warrior learns to love.

from Chodron's book,

The Places That Scare You (Shambhala Publications)

As are so many, we've been struggling here just a bit (or sometimes a BIG bit) over the drop in income. Readjusting has not been fun or easy.

It is very educational on several levels. And Chodron's words here, really help. Big Breath. 

I already know I've good at the hard stuff, so I'll get this, too. Meanwhile, learning to 'be where I am' keeps me present in the moment and in my body and lets me see, feel, and adjust to these times and my place in it all.

Feel the PANIC, ...exhale

No sooner do I "lose it", do I find a fellow speaking with the voice of reason. Thanks, Mike.  :)

Go read this. An excerpt:

Once again we are faced with making mindful decisions and taking measured actions when everything within us is screaming to panic.

Everything in its right time, I guess. I'll be reading lots more of Mike's stuff from now on; he's been reading some of my mail.     

Wisdom

I found this in Ronni Bennett's sidebar today, and wanted to link it here, also. THANKS, Ronni!
This is a great video - short quotes by various famous folk about what Wisdom means to them. It will reside in my left sidebar as well for awhile. Hope you enjoy this... 

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view,
and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.
Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep
and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

Chief Tecumseh (Crouching Tiger) Shawnee Nation 1768-1813

Thanks, Nancy   ; >D

How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall: a twist in the right direction

This was shared by my Tai Chi sifu, Jim Blackburn.
Encouragement to support our commitments to 'practice' everyday.

"In New York's Lower East Side a Cadillac filled with Texans pulls slowly up to Grandmaster," Hey, how do y'all get to Carnegie Hall?" they ask loudly.

                    " Practice." whispers Grandmaster.

 

But what is practice and how do you approach your practice? Practice as a verb is clear to all of us. To practice in this sense means something we do separate from the rest of our life to enhance a skill or a technique (ie, practicing the guitar, practicing an exercise, practicing presentations ). This way of thinking about practice serves a purpose , because you clearly need to practice to get to Carnegie Hall. However, if you seek to develop mastery, practice becomes a noun.
Practice becomes something you have , something no longer separate from the rest of your life, but something you are in all aspects of your life.

Practice then becomes similar to the Chinese Tao or the Japanese Do. Practice becomes the Path upon which you walk daily. Practice in this sense does help you achieve goals and benefits along the way , but masters don't practice for these reasons alone. Masters practice because they love Practice and this leads to improvement, which in turn adds joy, eliminates distractions, and encourages additional practice.

How you practice reflects who you are. Who you are reflects how you practice."

May you be your practice, Jim

Thanks, Jim...

This video speaks for me. I hope it does for you, too.

Keith Olbermann - at his best I think. Sometimes he is just another talking/screaming head on TV.
But THIS time he makes complete sense to me. I want to hear the answers to the questions he poses.
I, like him and so many others, simply do not understand the opposition on this issue.

(and yes, there is a commercial first - about 15 seconds)

A Thought to Ponder

Thanks, Nancy :)

"Social change will now grow along a vertical axis more than a horizontal one. A few people joined together and thinking deeply will do more to affect the conditions of the world than millions of people joined in superficial thought. That is because the morphic resonance of loving thought is a literal forcefield, not just a metaphorical concept. It is the sahimsa of which Gandhi spoke, carrying within itself more potential power than any nuclear bomb or military force. The question is not whether this power exists, or even whether enough people believe that it exists; the question for our time is whether enough of us are prepared to harness that power for the purpose of national and planetary healing."

Marianne Williamson

Partisanism, Platitudes, Pundits and Principles: which one doesn't fit?

"The measure of the journey is not in the lifespan but in the wingspan."
~Laura Young

What are my principles, and how do they impact my life?
I'm not seeing much of principled behavior in the world these days.
Does it matter to anyone?

There are so many ways to go as I sit to write this post. I don't want to try to 'sell' you my candidate. (Well, I'd LIKE to, but I prefer to hold on to the thought that you are thoughtful, relatively intelligent and self-informed, and therefore capable of making a thoughtful choice of your own.)

But I'm not sure anymore.

It seems to me that we have traded our basic values for the ability to create revenue at the expense of others.
I believe that most of us don't even know what values we hold, or even how to think about the subject. We've created all the laws AND all the loopholes that have led us to where we are right now. And I believe that the level to which you believe you are NOT responsible, is just a measure of your denial.

So what the hell does THAT mean? I'm not sure about that, either.
I'm sure it has to do with making decisions about my values. Here's a very basic one I learned from my former coach, Laura (quoted above):

Will I add to the love in the world; or will I add to the hate in the world?

And, yes; I DO think that is an either/or question. Other questions include:

• Must I seek to blame? When? Why?
• What do I understand about Love - all kinds - and what am I willing to do, say, be to support my conclusions?
• What does honesty mean to me, and what goes into the decision to be honest or not honest? When I choose dishonesty, what are the costs and to whom?
• What are my responsibilities for the behavior of others, and when/how do I act upon them?
• What things are private (if any) and therefore irrelevant to others?
• When (if ever) is what you think of me important?
• How often do I revisit these questions, adding others or subtracting some?

When I've asked myself these questions (and others) and come to some conclusions, then I write my own code of conduct. And these days, I'm really torn in several directions.

There is much to be said for the argument that we 'get what we deserve in this world'. The theory that 'what we focus our attention on gets bigger' is working especially well for those who want to persuade us through fear. There are simply TONS of things on television, radio, and other media outlets, that are perfect illustrations of WHO WE HAVE COME TO BE as human animals on this planet.

I don't want to look like that model.
All I know to do is the best that I can. And for me, that means knowing what I value, learning that I can choose to be involved in many different ways, and behaving with courage now that I know what my principles are. What is most scary to me these days is what I see as a closed-minded, rigid adherence to a set of 'guidelines' that have bypassed the individual consideration  

...oops; gotta go...

http://www.newser.com/story/38842/parker-gets-the-dixie-chick-treatment-after-dissing-palin.html 

This article illustrates some of the fanaticism I see all over this campaign. But more importantly, I see this everywhere these days: in the (extreme) need to blame someone (for ANYthing), in road rage, in the behaviors of some friends & neighbors & family.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/obama-will-be-one-of-the_b_132843.html

This link goes to an excellent piece of writing that expresses something of what I feel about Obama & this election, and these times.

"The measure of the journey is not in the lifespan but in the wingspan."
~Laura Young

What are my principles, and how do they impact my life?
I'm not seeing much of principled behavior in the world these days.
Does it matter to anyone?

There are so many ways to go as I sit to write this post. I don't want to try to 'sell' you my candidate. (Well, I'd LIKE to, but I prefer to hold on to the thought that you are thoughtful, relatively intelligent and self-informed, and therefore capable of making a thoughtful choice of your own.)

But I'm not sure anymore.

It seems to me that we have traded our basic values for the ability to create revenue at the expense of others.
I believe that most of us don't even know what values we hold, or even how to think about the subject. We've created all the laws AND all the loopholes that have led us to where we are right now. And I believe that the level to which you believe you are NOT responsible, is just a measure of your denial.

So what the hell does THAT mean? I'm not sure about that, either.
I'm sure it has to do with making decisions about my values. Here's a very basic one I learned from my former coach, Laura (quoted above):

Will I add to the love in the world; or will I add to the hate in the world?

And, yes; I DO think that is an either/or question. Other questions include:

• Must I seek to blame? When? Why?
• What do I understand about Love - all kinds - and what am I willing to do, say, be to support my conclusions?
• What does honesty mean to me, and what goes into the decision to be honest or not honest? When I choose dishonesty, what are the costs and to whom?
• What are my responsibilities for the behavior of others, and when/how do I act upon them?
• What things are private (if any) and therefore irrelevant to others?
• When (if ever) is what you think of me important?
• How often do I revisit these questions, adding others or subtracting some?

When I've asked myself these questions (and others) and come to some conclusions, then I write my own code of conduct. And these days, I'm really torn in several directions.

There is much to be said for the argument that we 'get what we deserve in this world'. The theory that 'what we focus our attention on gets bigger' is working especially well for those who want to persuade us through fear. There are simply TONS of things on television, radio, and other media outlets, that are perfect illustrations of WHO WE HAVE COME TO BE as human animals on this planet.

I don't want to look like that model.
All I know to do is the best that I can. And for me, that means knowing what I value, learning that I can choose to be involved in many different ways, and behaving with courage now that I know what my principles are. What is most scary to me these days is what I see as a closed-minded, rigid adherence to a set of 'guidelines' that have bypassed the individual consideration  

...oops; gotta go...

http://www.newser.com/story/38842/parker-gets-the-dixie-chick-treatment-after-dissing-palin.html 

This article illustrates some of the fanaticism I see all over this campaign. But more importantly, I see this everywhere these days: in the (extreme) need to blame someone (for ANYthing), in road rage, in the behaviors of some friends & neighbors & family.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/obama-will-be-one-of-the_b_132843.html

This link goes to an excellent piece of writing that expresses something of what I feel about Obama & this election, and these times.

Nice

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT  . DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND , TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE . THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE' THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?' THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.   BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE M UST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT' LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO C ARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,    AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,   A DAY TO LOVE THEM,  BUT THEN , AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM. TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!   'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle

---

Heaven Help Us...

I swear, if we gave as much energy to fixing the electoral system or Social Security as we do to keeping the "Others" out of our way, we'd have a whole new country and a lot more global respect.

This particular rant was inspired by yet another group trying to stomp on the rights of some of us - this one about gay marriage. Usually, I link articles I comment on here, but if you want to read any of that kind of stuff, go find it yourself.

But 'others' can be anyone - in certain circles, even you: Gays (that broad category that covers SO many), illegal aliens (in Roswell, they're green), Jews, Hispanics, Little People,...basically anyone different from you.

So, I ask: who do you want to be when you grow up?
Wise?
Christ-like?
Loving?
Open-minded?

Or are you one of those who say, "my mind is made up; don't confuse me with facts."?

Good grief!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to T''ai Chi class in hopes of lowering my blood pressure and enjoying a few deep breaths, and in letting go of my own prejudices for my "others", the ones who want to believe I'm different from themselves.

Perspective; you can't have too much.

I got this in an email three years ago and only just found a way to upload it.

Zoom In Your Life

View SlideShare presentation

Thoughtful... "Last Song" by Daniel Nahmod

I really like this song.  And I love the excerpt of poem superimposed over the end of it...
the hurricane clips are a bit distracting, but I'm sure they mean something to the one who posted this in the first place. And I am very grateful to her/him for doing so...  :)

I'm thinking that if I consider these words every day, I won't have to worry about my own last song:

Saving Money or Spending it?

Here's a GREAT article from YNAB (You Need a Budget) about all those "savings" at the cash register:
http://www.youneedabudget.com/2008/wow-you-saved-more-than-you-spent

I've thought of that myself at supermarkets where they are so excited to tell me how much I've "saved".
I hope you find it funny, too.

And if you actually need to budget, there are links to his site. I recommend it and his program as practical and easy to use and at a budget-friendly price. :)

hmmm...he's been reading my mail

"There is nothing with which every man is so afraid
as getting to know how enormously much
he is capable of doing and becoming."

- Soren Kierkegaard

I don't think it's just me.

Have you noticed just how low the 'common denominator' has become, these days? Or perhaps it's just me.

It's TV that triggered this particular post. Everything from the commercials to prime-time to cable: it's really tricky to find shows worth the time. I do really appreciate much of it: travel channel, NetGeo, food channel, of course, & HGTV.

Now prime-time is a game show festival, some run 2 hours. Holy cow. Prizes are Huge, though it's very difficult for contestants to grab the really big ones. And the contestants are going into them as if they are make-or-break earth-changing events. (Yes, I know, anyone who actually wins a millions dollars will be changed.)
But no one ever seems to notice that anything they win is more than they came with. It's a game.

Even Oprah has jumped on this particular wagon. I'm waiting to see if she repeats - or how she repeats it. At least her contestants didn't even know there was a prize this first time around. That little secret won't ever work again, so I wonder.

I even liked American Idol in the beginning. But the repartee between the host and judges grew old many moons ago, and only the teenie-boppers decide who wins. What a weirdness. And the contestants seem to think (and maybe they're right) that the way to score points is with a catchy comeback. Where is the real musician who wants to hear the critique, learn, improve, and be better. And yes, there is some good critique happening. No, not from that fluff in the middle, I truly don't get her. Like her? yes, why not? Value her opinion? No.  She rarely offers a comment that will educate a musician. She wants 'em to feel good.
The other two really do have useful things to say, but now it is a game to boo their criticisms unless they are flattering. Getting sooooo old.

And standing ovations no longer have meaning. Sigh...

And then, just when we're down to some really good musicians, the creators of this phenomena turn the  decision making over to 'the fans'. Oh, boy: interactive TV.

Now even my favs, like Food Network and HGTV just can't leave the competitions alone. 

It's really weird.

We know a young woman here, age about 25, who sings really well, plays guitar, and composes some really good stuff. Around here, she's the Karaoke Queen. We've done a web site for her, put her up on YouTube, raised money, taken her to competitions, and coached for success. How's that going?
Well, fine - as long as someone else is doing the work. She'd love to be on Idol, or Nashville Star. And she'll go - if someone just covers the travel and the hotel and the food and the, and the...

Don't get me wrong: she writes & sings everyday. It's not that she does nothing; it's that she does nothing to advance her career. She has made two CDs, in Nashville no less, because there was someone to foot the bill. She 'sat in' briefly with a popular band in El Paso, but "can't" move there.
She won't even get off her duff and put together a local band, because, "they won't be able to go with me...".
Guess what? She's not going anywhere.
She's the Karaoke Queen, using someone else's equipment, singing her little heart out, and taking turns with the other wanna-be's and non-singers who show up for Karaoke around here. It would be so tremendously sad if I didn't know that she was choosing this life.
Bless her little heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm guessing these are just some of the dying throes of a soon-to-be-former TV watcher.
I'm fearful that what I see indicates a trend in thinking (or not thinking) of a vast number of Americans who are just too tired, too lazy, too depressed, too distracted, too - something, to see ourselves clearly.

And of course, the winners are all those folks behind the cameras: the networks, the sponsors, and all the retail outlets that carry that stuff we just have to have, now. Shoot, last night I cooked dinner in the spam of time it took for ONE commercial.
(OK, the salad was already made and I was only grilling tuna, but still...that should not be possible.)

OK - end of rant - exhale, sigh...ommmmmmmmmmmmm

 

I'll be thinking about this one before commenting

"Just because you are good at something doesn't mean
you ever really enjoyed it."

A quote from my friend, Laura.

Who Am I?

Please go look at this video. Takes about18 minutes. This link is from a TED Talks conference - not likely the first place Ms. Taylor presented it, but certainly a great site.

Whether you vote for scientific research, prefer direct/indirect  revelations from one avatar or another, or prefer believable human testimony I think you can not remain untouched by this speech.

Here's the YouTube version:

Or go search Jill Bolte Tayor in your favorite 'engine' to see the tons of people/places who are interviewing, blogging, and otherwise sharing this amazing commentary by an amazing, awakened scientist.

Thanks to Laura for bringing it to my radar; Thanks to Kristie for resending the link and adding her own insightful comments. (I'm waiting for permission to quote her here.)
Kristie has replied with permission, so here are her thoughtful comments:

"As an energy facilitator and teacher, what I came away with after viewing this was that Jill will be another person who will be very instrumental in helping many to open to the possibilities that they too can tune into remembering more of who they are by firing up the right hemisphere.  What can be termed rapture or ascension, is just that.... shifting into higher frequencies and experiencing oneself as an energy being.  I'm glad I did not have to go through a stroke to experience it this way!  I commend Jill on getting out there and telling her story.  Once the right hemisphere is brought more on line and then balanced with the left, this seems to me then the human will be living Heaven on Earth, or living the consciousness of, "I'm in this world, but not of it."  :-)  Peace on Earth ............ahhhh  what a concept!"

And when you're done with the video, go explore TED Talks. I didn't know it existed until today.

Turned in my notice today

Wow! I've set a date with Barbara to quit the job! OMG
I'm a bit of a wuss still; I gave her a month - well, 27 days. Yea!
           (what is a woss, and how do you spell it!    Hey! I really found it! whodathunkit?)

We have a major pile of website updates and additions, so my 27 days will be full. And you know me; I can hardly refuse a good coaching question any time. Perhaps, now, I will "consult".

And guitar classes may start as early as next week. The first is a group including regular guitar, so if that doesn't work just like I want it to (I play bass, you know), I'll take up the other teacher I found who will teach one-on-one. Just he and me and the bass.

ttfn

The 'best' polititian...? not taking sides here...

In reading & listening to politicians in the coming months, please remember (and bookmark) this site: FactCheck.org. It could help, really.

So, who IS the best politician for you? You are the only one who can answer that.

I suggest that, as you consider their platforms, you might also consider the political system we - yes, WE, the people - have put in place.

Our present system offers a lot of extra coverage to the candidate who has the most money.
Is that a good criteria for measuring competency for leadership?         Maybe.
Does it matter where the money comes from?         Yes, certainly. Drug lobby? Oil lobby? ____  lobby?

And what's up with lobbies, for heaven's sake?!
And what's up with the totally outdated Electoral College?!    Are you so out of touch (or off the grid) that you actually need to give your voting power to a representative? And did you know that it is LEGAL for your Electors to vote any old way they want to?

When & how do we consider a candidate's ethics?
To whose ethical standards do we/should we hold our candidates accountable?
Do ANY of them meet your own standards?

What's with all the MUD? And is the thrower any cleaner than the target?     Not to me.

I wonder what it might be like if a candidate could/would ONLY speak about her/his platforms, ideas, visions and could NOT speak about his/her opponents except to quote from the Congressional Record.
I wonder what a political season might be like if a candidate were not allowed to purchase advertising on TV & radio & in newspapers. What if such news disseminaters had to provide exactly the same number of minutes in the same time frames to all candidates.
Hmmm...

I find it hard to keep paying attention when I hear 'spin' more than substance, and unsubstantiated rumor & mere rhetoric more than reliable platform, and mud slinging & mud dodging.
Makes me a bit crazy, doesn't it you?

My candidate's already gone - lost to financial pressures and unable to purchase the mega-million $$ commercial spots.  (probably a bit simplistic, but he's gone never the less).
And now most of what I hear is race/gender wars which have NO bearing on the actual issues.

AAARRRrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhh!!


exhale... sigh...

Mastery & the Omnicrone

I'm reading Mastery by George Leonard. I have to tell you about it.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. And about actually BEING the Omnicrone, whose name I coined and who I've been afraid to claim...and about our culture, and our standards, and our children...

And today I read Laura's post "It's the Wrong Question" and knew - just knew that it's time to step up -  again.

Mastery is not a new book, nor even a new concept. It (probably) is something  you already know. It seems likely to resonate with you. I can imagine you thinking, "Well, of course, I know that."
And yet, we may not know it in a way that moves us into a different way of living.

Mastery, Leonard's mastery, is about learning to love and live in the now, in a way that hadn't occurred to me. He often uses his long-standing martial arts practice as a metaphor. It's about loving the plateau. About loving the process of something, not just the results of something. He says we can be masters, or dabblers, or hackers. He describes these characteristics and helps us see how we got to be where and who we are.
He has changed my outlook on my T'ai Chi practice and I'm even redefining the way I think about the word, practice.

And in the book, he helps me understand why I have such trouble keeping commitments to myself.
And how I (we) came to be this way. He speaks about our culture and the ways in which we've been trained (from early childhood) to seek the reward, not the path.

For example:
We go to school to get good grades.
We get good grades to get into a good college.
We get into a good college to get a better jog.
We get a better job to make more money.
We make more money to have bigger, better ___.  (you fill in the blanks)

Everything in this list if focused somewhere and some-when else. There is no now in any of this. It is not possible to be 'in' your body or your right mind if you're not actually 'present' with what you are doing/thinking.

What if:
we went to school because learning is fun?
we went to college because learning is fun?
we got a job because we can work at something we love?
we buy just what we need because we know who we are without 'things'?

Can you imagine yourself or your children studying because they enjoy it? 

Did you watch Kid Nation?
Now that is/was a scary-hopeful show if ever I saw one. I do NOT recommend it, but I wanted/needed to see it. I wanted to know what our kids are up to in those little precious minds, and I wanted to see how they might be manipulated by the media moguls with advertising space to sell.

I'm happy to report that a few of those children surprised me and made me hopeful about the possible fate of this world. I say 'possible' because the children who displayed integrity were vastly outnumbered by those who didn't.
It was very interesting. I hope a couple of them (one in particular comes to mind) will be driven to change dramatically. I hope her parents are embarrassed, and that they KNOW how she got to be the way she was/is.
I fear that they won't.

Not my business - but it IS my problem.
We teach the children - all of us: parents or childless, teachers or bankers, or chefs, or ditchdiggers.
Mostly, we teach them that life is a series of climaxes and toys.
We say post your video on YouTube, don't worry about actually practicing your craft.
We say buy the lottery tickets; there is no need to work for something you want.
We say get a fancy car and the girls will love you.
We say be my 'friend' on the internet and wonder why we can't hold a conversation outside of text-messaging.

Read the book.

Change...

lots of stuff going on these days.

I'm back to take a look at where I am, where I've been, what's up, and what I believe....
As you can see, the look has changed here. That's a little minor change.

My work at HMHC was 'supposed' to change - get lighter - require less time - move from computer manipulation and notification and into something closer to my heart...oh, well...
My replacement may turn out to be a helper, but she's not a replacement. And while there IS a small piece of me that appreciates the idea of being irreplaceable, it surely gets in the way of my current goals.

The pressure of this work is some of the stuff that sent me off into a stress overload that necessitated an intervention that manifested itself in several ways, including a brief use of anti-anxiety drugs and a few sessions with a cognitive therapist.  Thankfully, all that work is, indeed, working.

I'm much better at seeing what's happening early on. I'm WAY much better at looking at and setting my boundaries around the time I spend. And I have been lavishly praised  for the stuff I do. That always helps, don't you know.    :)

I'm pulled toward solitude.
I can't seem to find it.

My next step is with a group forming now (beginning the work in January) called ITP, or Integral Transformative Practice. We will follow the work of George Leonard and Michael Murphy as discussed in the books, The Life We Are Given and Mastery. These men are strongly connected to Esalen Institute where this process was created and tested. People have been following this work for almost 15 years now with great success.

I've got to tell you, it is VERY scary to me. Even though it seems to me to be the ONE thing that might actually move me to do/be all that I want, the level of commitment is huge. We've had about 4 meetings to introduce the group and let folks know just what will be expected. And I find that it is likely to hit precisely every one of my remaining 'buttons': daily practice, trust, money, and the bigee...can I/will I DO it. Additionally, this group has as a major goal the development of  'community' within the group. We are to bond, work together, and perhaps even give back in some way to our larger community as a group.                            Solitude?     ...not here...?

Whew.

So, in the meantime, and since I have nothing else to do...   (lol)
I've unpacked EVERY box that got sent to San Antonio (for the move that didn't happen), and everything we had stored in the tops of closets or under the stairs. Every item had to find a real home: the right place in the house, or one of my two favorite thrift stores, or to the designated shelves for the soon-to-be-launched EBay store, or to the trash/recycle/etc.

I filled 5 bookcases with books and selected trinkets. I've sorted thru a million items. We still have a couple of collections to deal with. Joel has turtles; I have bells, and before I can unbox them they HAVE to have a place to live. They are in a corner awaiting the 'right' display unit. They must go into something that fits them, looks great, and is easy to dust (or the bells, at least, will be gone).
I am adamant about it!
There will be NOTHING  'stored' in my house except the Christmas stuff, and that, too, is undergoing a major reduction in quantity.  We'll probably only keep the ornaments and some of the lights and garlands for outside. We don't really DO Christmas, anyway.

All this get-rid-of-it frenzy is making it possible to reorganize the studio and all our craft and home maintenance stuff, and create a workout area there. Can't wait to get this project DONE!!!!
Should be done...
...what am I holding onto at HMHC that keeps the 'real' replacement from showing up????!!!!

I'd love to stay and chat, but
HMHC calls...   aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

(Barbara, don't take it personally! It's not about you. And you know I love you!)