KateThoughts

Crest Trail #25 ~ 10-5-2011

Crest Trail #25 - the only other trail I had hiked before. :) It's a wonderful hike. The entire trail is over 25 miles long...we didn't do that whole thing, nor would I. Jim (friend,Tai Chi sifu - remember him) has done the whole thing. IN TWO DAYS! Planned for 3; down in 2. Amazing.

TSHG always meets at the base of Ski Run Road, and we always drive to whatever trail is today's choice.
To get to Crest Trail is quite a drive up into the mountains, branching off toward Monjeau Lookout.

There are lots of postings on YouTube about this area: Monjeau Lookout and the White Mountain Wilderness. I'll stick with my photos for now. The Little Bear Fire went thru here...the change is dramatic, but (imho) not relevant to these posts. Look it up if you want to hear about 'disaster', 'should', shouldn't, 'blame', 'devastation', etc.
The real impact of the fire is much more personal than that to me and - for me - requires a different POV. Also for another post.

Only some of these will get captions; most will explain themselves:

Trailhead

 

Cute, huh?!
This was the beginning
of my 'get fit' stuff ~ ongoing...

 

Diamond Peak maybe?
Gorgeous skies

 

 

Crossroads

 

LOVE rocks, I do!

 

 

Monjeau Lookout

 

 

Skyrockets!

 

Jim Edwards
tell you in a min.

 

Color changes
starting!

 

 

 

 

 

Elk Tracks

 

Steps to Lookout

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A gorgeous hike that was...

RE: Jim Edwards (guy in the Red Jacket) is our fearless leader. His mailing list for this group is over 100. The groups who actually hike range from 6 to 20 people per hike. Jim is an experienced Search & Rescue member, and inveterate hiker, and full of all sorts of knowledge about the flora and fauna of the area. He is extremely patient and unflappable. Really nice man. I hope I die before he decides to quit leading these groups.

Mills Canyon Trail #22 ~ 9-28-2011

This was my first hike with the Trail Snails hiking group, or TSHG as they will be known on these posts.

The group has existed for years, maybe decades. They hike twice a week: Mondays is a longer more difficult hike, and lasting much longer. One expedition recently was exploring in a part of the burned areas. They were never really lost, but fire had burned trail signs and, of course, most landmarks were entirely different. That group got back down the mountain about supper time!!

I don't hike with those folks...yet.

I might never hike with them actually. I like the hiking a lot, but I like lots of other things, too. We'll see over time.

Here are some favorite photos from my first hike up Mills Canyon:

Trailhead

 

First Steps

 

Lovely Light

 

Consenus = Bear
Print! :)

 

 

 

Some Group Members

 

The TurnAround (today)

 

Fall is such a gorgeous season up here.

 

 

 

 

 

Back to the Beginning..

 

 

 

It's an interesting group. My first strong impression is that they talk a lot. Now I know that some talk, some just walk, some want to know the name of everything, and some want to tell you.

I like the group. Even though this hike was an easy one, it was a challenge for this novice. Interestingly, my first hike with this group - this one in Mills Canyon, is one of the VERY few trails I had hiked before!

 

Back to Blogging....yes, I think I remember how.

Yes, our dog took all my attention for awhile...QUITE a while.

Still does, really. But I'm also into Balance in my Life, right? You've heard me say so; I'm sure of it.
Lately there has not been as much as I like. Mea culpa, I'm certain.

Anyway, I'm still distracted, but I'm going to let this blog help me with one of them...the distractions, I mean.  I will be posting here about the weekly (or almost) hikes I take. Yesterday's was the first one in the rain. Yes! Can hardly believe it. Slow and gentle, but still rain! Blessed event. None of us minded and I got to wear my Mickey Mouse slicker! Yeah, you know; the one you bought in Disney World because it started raining and you had to have something and it was the cheapest thing that would do the trick. lol
It turned out to be a one-use item as I suspected, but I'm very happy that it expired on the trail.

For the next MANY posts, I will be putting up photo-journal stype stuff of the hikes. I'll start back with the first one - it's mostly just to have the record here... and I can trim the photo files while I'm at it.  I don't know if this will take several days or several years.

The hope is that, once I'm back in the posting flow, I'll actually write more.

Figuring out how the days should look... want time/ideas/?? for these things:

tai chi, alone, music, burning 500 calories at something fun to me, meditation(godhelpme), archery, Karaoke;

AND THEN...I want enough good time with the people I care about that they know they are loved, appreciated, and respected.

A lot of this stuff can be measured in minutes and a certain quality of intention and attention is required of course. Let's watch and see what happens.

TTFN

AWW!!!  FU%&#ng serendipity; here comes a major distraction and my partner answered for us:
good friends - and I mean really Good, The Best Ever - friends are on their way home and are stopping by for a drink.

In fairness to them and to you, dear reader, I had signed the ttfn just as the phone was ringing. So I was thru writing for today, just thought I might go ....
Change that... we'll take the drinks outside - take care of two birds.

Over & Out

A Pretty Nice Thanksgiving...

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were eight for dinner yesterday. I didn't think to take the 'after' picture, or the buffet spreads... should have. And my picture of the turkey is no good; I hope Carol's is better. If so, I'll post it. It was a GORGEOUS turkey, perhaps the prettiest I've ever made (credit to Michael Simon). The secret to a beautiful browned skin is to cover the bird in a few layers of seasoned-butter cheesecloth and then leave the bird alone in the oven.

And I wish I'd photographed the Veggie Pie... I say, this was my year for Pretty, and I didn't document... no doubt fond memories will suffice. :)

We had a pot-luck menu, from talented cooks.

Soupe au Potiron (Savory Pumpkin Soup)

Herb-Roasted Turkey with Onion-Apple Dressing and Pan Gravy

Sweet Potatoes with Marshmallows  ~  Broccoli Cheese Casserole
Double Crust Vegetable Pie
Yeast Rolls and Butter

Salade de Poireaux (Leek Salad)

Wines ~ Beer ~ Tea ~ Fresh Lemonade

Sweet Potato Pie ~ Chocolate Meringue Pie ~ Pumpkin Pie ~ Fudge



Did I say we ate well? Why, yes; we did. : )

To begin, each of us read a quote about Gratitude from a bowl passed around the table. Then we toasted my Dad with a version of his "Big Orange" That was served in the small flutes with a slice of Orange. It's really nothing more than a vodka cocktail that he had every day about 3 in the afternoon. Not all of my friends drink alcohol, so the cocktail had only a token 1/2  teaspoonful in the mix for all 8 of us. (Some of us added a little kick from a small pitcher passed at the table.)

Since the first bird was cooked on Tuesday, we had a wishbone all clean and pretty. We'd decided to give that to a 'lucky' winner who picked the right number, and let them wish on it ...  but we forgot to remember...  I suppose Joel and I will do that tonight over turkey leftovers.

Football did play a factor in the festivities, but the group broke fairly evenly among fan-atics and chatters and those who moved between the two. Two other friends stopped by, also. It was a thoroughly lovely day.

And the Dad part played out perfectly for me. and then was done...

So, the first dish-washer load ran last night - thank you, Honey! The second load is in and it's time for me to finish up the kitchen and pack the leftovers for the next stage; some to the freezer, some to care packages, and some for lunch!! TTFN

 

The end of something ~ Dad's passing ~ 11-16-12

Last Friday was his last day. I still don't know what to say about it. Besides Joel, only Nancy knows, so far. And I'm not really sure why I'm keeping it so much to myself. Can't really be all that different from so many who lose a parent they didn't really know. Just Thanksgiving and all...no point in bumming out the natives. Mom passed at Thanksgiving, too...
Only notice I'm found so far...

Apparently, he was sick several weeks ago. I heard about in late October after he'd just had surgery and things weren't looking so good for him. They called in relatives. I didn't go. Things to do, you know: a play in Albuquerque we'd bought tickets for last February; a doctor's appointment in Texas; stuff... you know, planning for the Thanksgiving soiree.  just stuff.

And then he got better. Amazingly so. And everyone that had come in to town for him went home. And I didn't go. I thought I'd rather see him alive than dead...and how much more convenient to go in a few months when he's stronger, and winter is here, and a trip could be a get-away and not just a mad dash to a sick bed...or a funeral.

So, now the funeral is Wednesday. And I'm not going. And I don't really know how I feel about that. Bill isn't, either. We're sending flowers. Nice ones. All the folks in Florida for this occasion are people I don't know at all. Except Frankie, his wife. I would love to be able to give her a big hug. Her son is there with her, and tons of other relatives. Not that any of them can really make her feel better...
My people are here...sorta. I haven't really told anyone. My brother Bill is in Texas.

I'm just feeling sorry. Sorry he's dead and I didn't go see him. Sorry for Frankie. Sorry for myself.

So, I've put this up...for L and E, mostly. And to mark the event. And for the crying time this writing has afforded me. Hadn't done much; needed to... This is what we're sending:

About this 'wife' thing...

wife  (wf)
n. pl. wives (wvz)   A woman joined to another person in marriage; a female spouse.

Wow. How cool it was to look that up and see this definition: a 'woman joined to another person'; not a 'woman joined to a man'.   sigh...

So, I want to talk about this a little bit. Being a wife, accepting that role, and loving it-embracing it has been a little problematic for me over the years.

I am fairly sure I knew what it meant to those rearing me back in the day. I knew it mostly UNconsciously then, but I did know it. And much of it I rejected, finally. For a long time, I thought that was because no one wanted me. Meaning, of course, that no 'man' seemed to want me in the ways that I understood. And growing up as I did, homosexuality was not even on my radar.

And then I met Joel.
And many things became clearer.  : )

And then, as things will in relationships, they became less clear.

I discovered over the years - as you have probably done, as well - that some of our best times were born in our hardest times. One of the greatest blessings I share with Joel is that we will talk to one another. And stop. And talk some more. And get real about how we are.

But now I'm talking about something different.
This is just about me.

It has nothing to do with Joel as an individual, and nothing really to do with our recent marriage. There is a sort of cart-before-the-horse feeling about my feelings now. I don't know for sure what grew out of what.

These things I do know.

I want to be the wife that I will be proud to have been.
I want to nurture the people & animals in my home. I want to lead and teach where it is appropriate. I want to LOVE all the aspects of my days.
I've had a 'thing' about the dishes for ages, for example. I think that if I spend time doing the cooking (plan, shop, prepare, etc.) then someone else should do the dishes. I mean, it worked like that when I was in high school and Mom did the dishes!
Mom thought the dishes were a breeze compared to the cooking/shopping thing. She was delighted with the arrangement and so was I. I like the more creative part.

I forgot about the 'coulda-woulda-shoulda' monster that lives inside me and totally ignored the fact that Joel is not Mom. Well guess what? Doing dishes is the worst drudgery in the entire world for Joel. She would rather not eat at all than to have to do the dishes. So...how do you think things were working for us in the grand scheme of things - around this dish issue?

Right-O!
Not too well... I'd get to feeling unappreciated or something and would pitch my version of 'a fit', so she'd make a promise that was totally unrealistic, and in two or three days I'd be mad again. Such a delightful little dance. Amazing how many times we've done it.

Here's where I am, now. I've decided to embrace 'wife'. I ALWAYS wanted to be one. I was trained to be one. I know how...  what on earth have I been grousing about?
I've found that I like having the kitchen look a certain way and it no longer matters how/who makes it so. AND I found out...sssshhhhhhhhhh don't tell...I can enjoy doing dishes! Who knew It's totally a matter of decision having nothing to do with soapy water!

Now, I get it that the dishes are a tiny matter. And I'm really talking about much bigger things. I guess that what I'm exploring is the true nature of just what 'wife' means to me. And I've come to realize that it has little to do with the dishes and everything to do with how I want to feel as a wife. To nurture my family means a certain attention to what we all eat, even if it doesn't matter to anyone but me. To nurture my family means that I must get some of the things that I want, too. That part is harder for me, but getting easier every second. ('nother story) One of the things I want is a cleaner kitchen. Now, it's easy to have one.

To be a wife is to stand by my wife in whatever way supports her and against any obstacle.
That doesn't mean she's off the hook for beahvior that effects me. But it does mean that she can be as idiosyncratic as she wants/is. It means that I spent some time looking at how she was reared; what she brings to me and this relationship; and how she balances me in the big picture. It means that I know now how and by whom the dishes will be done, and it is not always me. :)

I'm enjoying this exploration and the things I'm learning about myself as I go down this road.

I'm a very good wife, and likely to be getting better.

And while these thoughts are not related DIRECTLY to our recent marriage, they are brought into a new focus because of it. And the word 'wife' is easier to say. and more fun.

Cape Cod ~ The Wedding

I feel like there should be a photo of me here, wiggling my eyebrows up & down like Groucho did... It hardly seems real, even now. I look at the photos and know I was there, but during that whole week I felt - different. Perhaps I'll figure some of it out - or how to express it - while posting this to share with you.

There will be LOTS of photos, and I hope I can share some of the joy, surprise, and actual wonder I felt.

Joel and I first talked about getting married a month or two before this trip. It was casual; no one fell to her knees with anything like a 'proposal'. After all, we've considered ourselves 'married' for over 18 years - since the Commitment Ceremony in Chicago. It just seemed 'cool' to us. Who knows, maybe the feds will decide to get with civil rights and grant us some legal rights before we croak. And wouldn't it be fun to be 'the first on our block'.

We're hardly the senior couple in terms of longevity among our friends, but none of the other couples have taken this particular plunge. Knowing us as I do, we probably will celebrate both anniversaries. We do like a good reason to eat out!

Two things surprised me, and one of them had begun to make itself felt even before we got to this 'wedding' thing. The first is the really deep sense of relaxation I was able to achieve in that lovely family setting in Cape Cod. The second is the vastly deep feelings I experienced during and because of the way that whole wedding thing went. I found that it - the ceremony, the clothes, the fashion show, the simple yet fancy 'style' that the whole week had - touched ancient fantasies I didn't even know were still important.

As for the first surprise: that comes mostly from Jane and her way of walking around in the world that is unique. Joel kept telling me to quit futzing; Jane had 'everything' and would give it all to us. I simply didn't believe her. And so I did my stuff around packing and worrying and list-making, etc.
Turns out Joel was right. Jane is thoughtful, generous, comfortable, relaxed and gracious. As an example, she gave us a guest room that was truly ready for guests! The closet was empty, except for beach shoes and bags that were bought for us. The chest of drawers held ONLY a pair of reading glasses and a DVD in case we couldn't sleep one night. The bedside tables had only flashlights in them! Crazy. And so welcoming.
There will be a few changes made around here to add some of that comfort for the next person who visits here, I can tell you.And that is just one example...

For the second surprise...I realized, when I relaxed into Jane's ideas for the ceremony, that I was - maybe - going to get that wedding I dreamed about when I was a kid. An actual wedding with music and a photographer and stuff. It's not at all that I had been missing something. As my life evolved, I stopped even wanting a wedding in any real sense. And later, I was happy to let our commitment ceremony in Chicago ('94) be that special day. All was perfectly fine.

I haven't been going thru any angst about what didn't happen all those years ago. But, last week, I began to feel like a bride in ways I hadn't in Chicago or in the ceremony we had the next week here in Ruidoso. In funny little ways hard to describe, I was experiencing these days with a very real and very deep joy. And in ways that made me think of that really little girl I used to be. Such a sweet realization.

Some of the joy came from knowing consciously that I had done all my 'work' well. I released one old dream ages ago when a new one came along in Joel.  And I found a new/old one unfolding around me in the nurturing way that everything came together thru Jane. It was very surprising. Makes me smile, even now. I let go of running the show, but kept true to what I wanted by expressing opinions and asking for things - like a bride should.

I realize, too, that I'm not explaining the feelings well at all. But then, I'm really the only one who must understand.

And, btw, the music included: (most links to to YouTube; we played from iTunes.)
As Long as You Love Me, cover by Michael Henry and Justin Robinette

I'll Still be Loving You, by Pam Rose.
This one is the original 'our song' from a million years ago...the Restless Heart version.

The Time of My Life, by the Glee Cast, but I LOVE the Original from 1st movie.

And there were instrumentals, too...forgotten which. Lovely things.

 

This first set of photos is pre-ceremony, some of them the afternoon before... setting the stage and getting dressed.                                                 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 It doesn't need another thing.

 

 

Jane is more than amazing. Without leaving the house, or ordering anything, she began to gather stuff together. What was just an empty (gorgeous) back yard one minute is transformed in the next. The tent was over the golf cart late Wednesday. By that evening, the cart was in the garage and the tent was in the back yard. Before you know it, the curtains off her bedroom doors are hanging in the corners of the tent. Everything went that way.

Then we have to get to fussin' with our own stuff:

 

Bearly's Best Man Boutinniere!
No, he doesn't like clothes, no matter the reason!

 

Isn't she lovely?!

 

 

 

well...half dressed so far.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, it's Time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awwwww....

Download Wedding Vows 

 

Yes, I will.

Happily, she did, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Hard to see in this picture is my 'engagement ring' that Joel slipped on at the end. It is a Giant Plastic Diamond! Fun and funny, and just like my Joie. And a touch that had to come from Jane.

 

 

We even had a wedding buffet; this lovely Key Lime Pie, Champagne Bellinis, petit Deli Sandwiches, and Purple Cabbage Slaw. Yum...

 

 

And a grand send-off!
Our wedding trip was to Provincetown...'nother post for that..

Cape Cod ~ The Fashion Show

Monday night, the 23rd; the day we applied for The License! 
So what were we looking for...? 
And were we sipping wine? Why yes! We were!
But I've got to tell you, dropping about 45 lbs makes a BIG difference in how I look in a mirror. I mean, how I 'see' in a mirror...  

 

I DID say we were drinking wine, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bearly sleeping on the clothes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gorgeous!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love this Asian look - mandarin collars, or can you tell?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fun!     And I got to bring this sweater home!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, finally...the one we chose for The Wedding:

Ok it's not the best picture, but shows the detail best.

And yes, Joel tried on several things, too. Kicking and screaming some of the time, and trying to avoid buttons and photos. But we had a blast and ended up with great costumes for the ceremony that followed on Thursday.

Cape Cod Catch-up #6

Some of you have asked about the storms that came thru Boston and the northeast.

All we got of the storms was a brief rain and some wind. Funny, in fact.

Jane and I were running around in the rain, moving Dave’s container veggie garden out of the rain, and dealing with the EZ-up tent canopy that was over the golf cart… getting wet and laughing, moving furniture in the garage so that we could put both the cart and her car back into the garage. All took about 20 minutes. Exactly as soon as we were done, the rain stopped. An hour & a half later we had sunshine.

Rilee and the kids had a different experience: stuck on the tarmac in Boston, then finally driven back to the terminal. They had to spend the night, but had fun once they got out of the plane! The next day, they changed their destination city, and got stuck on the tarmac again, but did finally make it home late that afternoon.

We had some rain again this morning, too. And the humidity is back. I'm hoping there will be enough 'weather' to pull something new onto the beach...but it doesn't really matter.

Yesterday, Joel, Bearly and I took a spin around the neighborhood:

  

 

 

 

 

 

Wasn't he sweet to pose for me?

 

 

 

Shore IS. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, we went shopping with Jane - for 'stuff', and for the next perfect wine glass, and and a lovely meal at Bleu.

(I apologize for not thinking of the photos before I thought of tasting...but what can I say?)

Joel and Jane had Bacon, Tomato and Gruyere quiches with small tasty salads.

I, sticking to my plan for as much seafood as possible, chose Seared Diver Scallops on Arugula and Walnut Salad with a Maple & Grapefruit Glaze. Oh, my...
Happy Mouth - Happy Woman :)

Then we shared a Strawberry Panacotta - containing chocolate-covered strawberries. 'nuff said!

 

We loved the meal, enjoyed the shopping and found some lovely things. I even tried on clothes! Those who know, know how rare that is!

And last night, with David gone to New York, we played dress-up in Jane's closet!
Can't really believe that. But it was really fun, now that I can actually wear 'real' clothes. I will definitely be shopping differently (and in a different town) from now on.

Cape Cod Catch-up #5

Sunday Morning Showers - of the BEST kind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a GREAT place for rinsing off beach sand or enjoying a wonderful Sunday Morning. In the second shot, you can see the bench seat and a part of the sliding door. Third is the view from inside looking up. I couldn't get low enough to capture the real height of the trees. The last shot is what you see from inside if you don't close the doors... 

This is one of Bearly's favorite hang-outs. The full-size screen door lets him keep an eye out for Dave coming home. He lines up toys there, too. Too Cute!

 

 

 

 

 

Just one of several garden areas around a nice little shopping area. There are fountains and benches and gardens everywhere. Beautiful. AND there was The Cook's Store (among others)! Fun!
Don't want to shop, or get tired while..? ...enjoy a latte or lunch at a little sidewalk shop. I'm sorry I didn't take more photos... Next Time! :)

I love these little guys. If I get a chance, I'll go back and take shots of one of them in place in the garden.

And the next time we come up here it will be with our own wheels...tons of stuff I'd like to bring home.

 

Well, we'll be off for our morning walk in a few minutes. Bearly's ready for his first time out at about 5:30 here...hope that doesn't translate to 3:30 when we get back home!! The mid-morning walk will be around the neighborhood - don't know how long in miles - can make it anything you want in time 15 minutes - 2 hours... Bearly's getting stronger and his socialization skills, while always good, have skyrocketed.Such a charmer. And yes, I'm biased; sure me! hahahaha

If you've never been to this part of the world, you really must plan a trip. It is unlike anything I have seen.

So, TTFN; check back tomorrow.

Cape Cod Catch-up #4 Bearly on the Beach

This is another multi-day catch-up...it's not that we're doing all that much; it's just that the computer loses out to so many more pleasant things. :)

 

This is about 2 minutes of Bearly's first day of real exploring on the beach here in Sandwich.
Yeah, I know...some things only really interest a mom. :)
It was cloudy and a little windy - all that we got of the storms that hit Boston and that area. Video was taken on Friday, the 20th. I only know that because the computer knows.

We stayed out a couple of hours or more and walked maybe a mile or more eastward down the beach. He seemed fascinated with all the smells; LOVED seaweed; and was not interested in getting wet. So much for the Life Jacket we brought.

Then, yesterday, Joel and I loaded up the golf cart, motored about 2 blocks out to the beach and spent the day. Even Bearly went for part of it. This was a sit still, enjoy the sun, an just veg out day. Wonderful.

Our home away from the home away from home! Yes, it's a bit like George Carlin's take on "my stuff".

Bearly soaking up rays!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was just a wonderful day. When we got there we were 3 among a few; when we left about 4:00 the beach was loaded with teens, 20 somethings, families and some of the cutest kids you ever saw.

Here is just one.  That was on Friday the 20th... who really knows if I have the dates right. I do have one more thing to tell you about though: the after-dinner-hour that night... But you'll just have to wait for it. We're off on a drive to see more sights.

Cape Cod Catch-up #3

No more waiting for a week; there is just too much going on.

Yesterday Joel and Bearly and I took a ride around a part of the Cape from Sandwich to Chatham and a few points in between.

We stopped for ice cream, but my clever attempt at an 'arty' photo failed miserably, to you get this chopped up version. I went for Lobster Tracks, of course. My honey had just plain ol' Black Raspberry. We were both Happy!

 

The very nice man at the counter offered Bearly a tiny bit of vanilla soft-serve. And yes, I know he's not supposed to have it, but really, it was just a teaspoon.. and he was Happy!

 

 

I loved this concrete foot print set among the bricks on the patio.

 

This is the place, but we can't remember the name of exactly where we were! Funky little hippy-type joint we'd go back to in a minute. If we figure it out, we'll tell...

 

 

This is in Chatham - amazing little town just crawling with tourists - The green building is the Cape Abilities Farm to Table shop. It's an organization where Jane volunteers and which is also partnered with the Centerville Pie Company. We also stopped for corn at the Farm in Dennis, but I forgot to take a photo...

This is the Chatham Lighthouse, a place with a rich history, as the whole Cape does.

 

 

 

 

 

Yep; we were there!

Behind me, the Beach!

 

 

 

 

Then we headed back west and our temporary home, the Dave & Jane 5 Star Resort! :)

Where they served up the freshest Lobsters I have ever had the pleasure to eat. You can imagine, this desert dweller doesn't even see whole lobsters, really. These were in the water yesterday morning, and in my belly last night!

Here is Dave showing us how to get into the critters. Ah...sweet and succulent and served with the sweep Cape Abilitles corn. Ambrosia!

 

 

 

Stay tuned for the next adventures. ; )

Cape Cod Catch-up #2

What a week we've had! The #1 Catch-up was written just two days after we arrived; now we've been here a week and 2 days. There have been two major highlights in this week and tons of delightful times.

Last Wednesday as we were sightseeing/shopping with our cousins, we went to the Centerville Pie Company, first made famous by Oprah on one of her "My Favorite Things" episodes - in 2009, I think. She fell in love with their Chicken Pie and so did we. It's not typical, being 100% chicken in a two-crust pie served by the slice with extra gravy on top, some cranberry sauce, and some wonderfully seasoned mashed buttternut squash. (I'll have to show you the pics later; they are on Jane's camera. But you can see the pies on the web site, and if you look at some of their latest photos, you will see us in a few. Here is their blog post about it.)
It was great fun; we loved the food and the folks, especially Kristin and Polly.

They told us the Travel Channel was going to be there the next day filming a "Food Paradise" episode and invited us back. That's all it took for Joel! We HAD to go...and so we did. Dave loaned us his car (with Garmin aboard), Jane programmed our destination and off we went. We arrived a little before noon, signed waivers and permissions in order to get in the door, and joined the other diners/shoppers. The crews were there: local videographers and some members of the LA Food Paradise production staff. We waited around for a bit, but it seemed that it would be quite some time before they got around to the actual interviews, so we ordered our lunch and ate. We went as slowly as we could, expecting them to want us to be eating...but they started elsewhere and we finished our meal. They did come to us though, and DID want us to eat, so they ordered a dessert pie for us. Then, even knowing we'd eaten, they asked if we would/could have some of the Chicken Pie, too. Oh, my goodness! Thankfully, the restaurant staff just gave us beautiful plates of the pie and cranberry sauce and left off the squash!

It was fun to be involved. They were gentle directors, though they asked me twice to use my right hand for particular shots. They seemed to enjoy Joel's energy a lot and we think we (or she) will end up in the actual episode. It was huge fun. They even filmed me in the retail side of the store when I ordered some macaroons to take back to the troops at Jane's house. And just so you know, they were the BEST macaroons, too: big and fluffy with the perfect amount of crunch on the outside. Yum!

Then there were beach days:

Joel with Leah and a friend

 

Rilee, Joel and the kids

 

Beautiful rocky, sandy beach

 

R & J

 

 

 

and Yours Truly

 

 

 

 

 

You've got to have beach shoes, though..or this girl does, anyway. These shores are rocky!

I tried some tai chi out here, but it was pretty funny. Fun, and funny. It was hard to forget about the people out there. (this long-shot photo is from a different day) And the rocks and sand keep moving under my feet. But I did it - have done so a few times...

A day or two later, we had a picnic with some of Dave's family and walked to another harbor beach. This one was sandy, quite windy that evening, but just gorgeous. Once again, I'll have to borrow the photos from Jane; mine are in the phone, but I forgot the adaptor card thingee...
Joel

 

harbor

 

Can't keep 'em out of the water

 

duh - s'mores!

 

 

And yours truly - again.

 

 

 

Dave has proven to be a VERY good griller. He was in charge of all things fire this night and the food was scrumptous. Sue and Daphne had made wonderful salads and sides and served sweet sweet watermelon. And kids of all ages enjoyed the s'mores.

On another night - Saturday, I think - Dave made some of the best ribs with multiple cooking methods and Jane's special rub.

Another evening was my first-ever shell fish meal: not paella (no rice or saffron) but terrific steamers, little neck clams, mussels, shrimp, and kielbasa in a rich broth that we soaked up with delicious bread. I confess I worried about that meal a little. What if they were as nasty as I imagined!? Much to my delight, it was all VERY good. None of it was chewy like my years-ago experience with escargot. All of it was tender and delicious. Jane is a great cook who takes care with a meal and serves it beautifully. And I never have to be scared of shellfish again!

And there was Hoxie Pond:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And dinner out by the water, of course:

A restaurant called HemiSphere

 

We even saw a FOX on the beach!!

 

where else would the kids be?

 

 

Jane and the kids at home

 

 

 

And Then...and Then... And Then...there were Whales!!! Oh, my goodness.

if you still have a Facebook acct., check here:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4406519725109.2182305.1352153322&type=1&l=2c3a3a9c87

If you don't here are a few highlights of the excursion into Stellwagen Bank:

Flukes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And on the way back in, good shots of Sandy Neck:

 

 

 

This lighthouse used to be powered by whale oil; now solar.

 

 

 

 

 

These homes belong to individuals and are passed down thru the families, but are part of an historic area that can not be built upon or otherwise improved. The homes have no electric power and no running water. They CAN be repaired after storms. Very interesting, but I must learn more before I could comment further.

We've seen so many wonderful places and met so many warm people. I just don't know what folks mean when they talk about 'cold' New Englanders. It has not been our experience. We are finding such great generosity of spirit here. It's true that Bearly is a great ice-breaker, but it feels like more than that. What a special vacation, and still almost two weeks to go!

Cape Cod Catch-up #1

Bearly traveled beautifully throughout the whole New Mexico to Massachusetts experience. He only used a tiny bit of the calming drug the vet recommended and managed the plane changes and altitude changes, etc. beautifully. He met our host family as if he were ambassador for the whole canine kingdom. I'm one proud Mama, you betcha! He's definitely aware he's not home, but he's taking things in stride very well.

Yesterday afternoon we were included in a block party to celebrate the Grand Centennial for Janet, a neighbor. I have never lived in a place where this sort of event could/would take place. Very impressive!

There was a great little band playing smooth jazz and old standards. Wonderful!

I may have to get a tattoo! the bass player was sporting a bass clef symbol in his picking arm...and playing like I want to. Guess I'm gonna have to get back there! Practice, practice, practice.

What a treat, and what a gorgeous setting!

 

 

 

We arrived in Providence about 5 ish and drove less than an hour to E. Sandwich. After dinner, we made a quick run to the beach (2 blocks away) to catch the first sunset of our trip. We've been to a marina for a great seafood lunch yesterday, and will probably do a whale-watching day cruise from here. Can't wait for that! I've never seen a whale in real life!

The household is awake and moving now. Kids will be off to camp in less than an hour. Time to put the computer away and begin to think of breakfast. yum.

later

 

New Year's Day and I'm baaaacck! sort of...

This one will be short, though. The golf course is calling to me.

Laura commented about her blogging friends fading away; a food blogger I read (Simply Cooking) has recomitted to hers...and it seems that things are coming together to move me forward in this area, too.

HOWEVER...  :)
The disc golf course is calling. It's noon already and the days are short. Time to get out there. Especially since I have not done much moving in the last week.

So, for now, I'll just say a couple of things, just in case any of you old readers still check in now & then.

I'm getting physical in my old age. :)
Can't say what's driven it, exactly, but I do know that I LOVE to eat, and I can't keep doing that (and live) if I don't move my butt.
Back in the summer, Jim told me about Lance Armstrong's site, and a special feature there called My Plate. (I don't care much for the separate Men/Women portals, but it seems to make little difference.) The KEY is that I can track what I eat and what I DO. For a couple of months, I just tracked food. Then I finally put in a weight goal and am really succeeding!

It's very satisfying to me... and I rarely miss a day. Missed a couple over the holidays, or was incomplete...but basically I have a new healthy habit! But this new consciousness about food has become quite a happy event, and is so TOTALLY different from any other approach to food control I've tried in the past.

I've also joined a hiking group called the Trail Snails. I hike with them on Wednesdays when they do a 3-5 miles 'easy' hike. On Mondays, they go for about twice as far... and usually much more difficult terrain. I'll be ready for that one come this summer! there are tons of pictures from these excursions, as you might imagine, and I'm sure some will show up here.

And my good friend, (and tai chi teacher) Jim, has introduced me to disc golf. I'm hooked. It's a lot of fun! and burns some good calories. 

Music is still a big part of my life. This winter I got (briefly) into Karaoke and have a lot of fun singing harmony with my friend, Ile. I'll post some pictures later on.
I've been on hiatus from the bass, too; but am still finding cool things to play. I'll be exploring a music editing program, too so I can be my own one-woman band. Stay tuned!

That's it for today. See you soon.

 

 

missing chums w/ similar mindset...

Joel makes jokes these days that NM is the country's BBQ pit: because of the fires all over the state.
I like the joking. And certainly like it much better than all the fearful stuff that is showing up all over my FaceBook, email, and such.

And I don't really have much of a forum for what's rattling around in my mind, anymore. So, I'll put it here, where only a few ever read, and I might not tread on tender feelers...

Just got a FB invitation to a "Pray for Rain" event!... really?
Yes.
I come from "The Bible Belt" - geographically, historically, and spiritually...though I've moved on in every sense. I understand what they mean and I know that it's high-minded stuff to those believers and absolutely essential to their spiritual well-being...

I just don't think that there is an entity/spirit/? who answers prayers in the way that my family thinks. I believe that the Spiritual Center that guides my life is more interested in a happy appreciative heart. If I exist as a result of  - or a part of - a god, then it is so that I can be the senses for a non-physical entity who can not experience things on this physical planet in the way that I, as a physical being, can do. ..or as I, this specific physical being; because I don't experience things the way you do. All my filters are my own, as are yours.

And I believe that EVERYTHING is Spirit...a word I'll use here, for now.

The fires, too. To me, it's just Nature cleaning herself. I do it with showers and shampoo; She does it with powerful weather conditions and such. This video says a lot of the stuff I believe about conditions that seem like disasters to many:

 

The main thing that I take away from this, and similar avatars, is a much lighter heart. I'm much more joyful; much more accessible to my fiends; and drastically better connected to my Source - that Spirit.

And because I don't buy the life and death scenario, I'm much less fearful, too.
Life and Life is what I subscribe to.

And, no; I do not think that people set out to intentionally 'attract' disaster or other experiences seen as 'not good' to themselves - not even for the sake of the 'lessons' that may be there.
I do believe in a collective consciousness.
I do believe in a law of attraction (not to be confused with the stuff in The Secret).
I do believe that if many people in an area become overly fearful of anything, they spend time thinking/praying/talking about it, they add energy to the thing that they fear.

I do believe that our emotional center is that part of us that lets us know when we are connected to Spirit or to something else. If I feel fearful, I'm connected to fear, not Spirit, and will attract more fear and more fearful people; and with enough focus on that fear, I will eventually attract the thing that I fear; all while I surround myself with fearful people who support my fear.

For me, to pray, 'God please make it rain', is to be focused on the lack of rain. And as long as I am there with the lack, I cannot be where the rain is. Nor will I feel good.

As I understand it, the law of attraction says, 'that which is like unto itself is drawn'. I want to draw joy, love, happiness, confidence, love, abundance, love, generosity, love, peace...and much more of all of these.

Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts... 

...and so you don't have to look it up:
This video is of Esther Hicks who 'channels' a non-physical group of entities known as Abraham. Esther doesn't call it channeling, but it scarcely matters. Their web site is linked to the video if it interests you at all.

You may hear of her again here - or others who speak to me in ways that seem to draw me closer to Spirit.
I find that the part of me who wanted to marry a preacher back in high school, now wants to BE one, even though 'preaching' as such rarely feels good now that I know everything is well and nobody really needs it.

(I wonder if, after my croaking experience, I'll find out a real name for that Spirit. My guess is that it is all We.)

 

 

The Music Sanctuary

I have my own room now. I've mentioned it on FB, but I don't think I've shown you here...and it is spectacular! Here are some shots of it.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

(each is clickable for a larger view)

The first image will give you a general feel for the room. The chair is now a little farther back into the corner. I removed a closet door and replaced it with curtains to make space. The painting is one done by my Aunt Conny, and there is a piece of my step-Mom's crochet on the lamp. The window now has curtains, too; blue, of course. That black & brown unit under the guitars is a humidifier.

The second one is there to show you a sense of the 'sanctuary' part. I do my morning meditations and some Pilates in here, too.But the wall has changed. I lowered the little shelf unit and added a junk store treasure.

The third shot shows off that little treasure. The fourth shot is detail of the piano part.
Please notice the wonderful ribbon I found to hang it with; it's music staff ribbon with a real antique look. This room makes me smile; whether I'm in it or not is not relevant to the feeling.

And now, for your listening pleasure (or tolerance) is some more stuff. I'm still working on getting volume levels right.

This first one is Tradd and me playing Dust in the Wind, by Kansas:

Next is this one of me playing with Sting on Fields of Gold, by way of YouTube and the computer (which is one of the reasons there is a computer in the room).

 

And lastly, is a Reggae Improv with Tradd. Just learning different rhythms.

 

Thanks for listening (if you did). And thanks for all the great things some of you have said. I can NOT possibly tell you how much fun this is. I've begun playing some with a friend who sings sometimes at Karaoke. We used to have places with Open Mic Nights, but the last one closed up a few weeks ago. I guess I'll start holding some kind of jam sessions in the den now & then. Anyway, it is wonderful fun and closer to passion than I have been in years!

Judgment v Judgment: when is it the right thing? Or, How to ruin a perfectly good Saturday night.

This is today's quote from Abraham, who I have mentioned here before:

"Physical man gets into an uncomfortable place when he concludes, "I and those like me have come to the right decisions, and everybody that's living outside of these right decisions is wrong." And then he spends his life pushing against all those "wrong" decisions and cutting himself off from the Life Force that would help him have joy in his, what he concludes to be, right decisions. There is no one right path. There are endless paths, and the differences in the paths are what make them more and more, and more, perfect. The same old path no longer serves."

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Orlando, FL on Saturday, February 3rd, 2001 # 731

(These daily quotes also appear each day in my top left sidebar of this blog.)

It is a second look, this morning, at some of my own worst behavior; the first recent look being Saturday night when I went to a small restaurant to listen to Karaoke. It involves my observation of others who carried take-out food into the restaurant and proceeded to eat it, and put all the trash in the restaurant bins.

No one else seemed to have a problem with this - certainly not the restaurant - because I learned that this is common for these particular individuals.

But it flashed all over me like a heat wave. I could feel myelf getting literally & physically hotter; labels leaped to my mind: disgusting, cheap, low class (there's a telling one), thoughtless, lousy upbringing, selfish...

And, as you might imagine, I have a love/hate relationship with these sorts of insights!
Even in the moment, I knew the thoughts and the emotion were all mine. I was actually angry about it. And I could feel all this effect the way I listened to a few more singers. Frankly, I could hardly get out of there fast enough.

I've know for a long long time that my rearing was a tad on the fundamental/judgmental/black & white  side. But I am now seeing that the results of those attitudes are entirely mine; they effect no one but me...unless I inflict my (narrow) opinions on my tablemates. And I must also confess that I did a little of that, too.  GROAN    ....or as Laura would type: Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhh!

Certain judgments are appropriate, of course. I usually make a distinction by calling those decisions 'discernment'. Things like where I donate my time or money; people I choose to become close to; books; philosophies.. and simple things such as whether to cook a nice meal or head out for pizza and beer.

I spent way too much of last Saturday, though, engaged in a behavior that cut me off from Source and stole all the joy from my evening. I did it. I'm STILL holding on to too much old stuff.
"Uncomfortable"; you bet! "Pushing against", ditto.  ...lord, have mercy!

Will I do it again?     ...probably.
But, almost certainly, I'll do it a little less often with less strong implications for my immediate happiness, and with a much quicker return to my center - my connection to Source. And that's because I really am connected a lot of the time. It's why I'm here afterall: to explore the potential of this relationship between myself and Source, and to bring my heart & my behavior into closer and closer virbrtional alignment until there is no space between us anymore.

You've gotta laugh...

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”   -Bob Moawad

I choose this.
I keep choosing this.

Each day, I choose this, and each day in some small way (or ways) I give part of my life away.
Sometimes I know what I'm doing when I do it - and choose to do it, anyway.
    ...so I suppose that the deciding process makes it 'my' life... ?

Other times, I don't know I've done it until some later time when I notice the consequences in my gut or my back or my shoulders.

It's funny, really. Thankfully. And the fact that it is funny is why I can keep choosing it. Each day just gets better and better.

What did you choose, today?

Absence makes... ?

...well...I don't really know what it makes in terms of this blog.
Obviously, it has not been high on my list lately.

Christmas was a weird blur characterized by a fairly potent case of the Bah-Hum-Bugs that didn't begin to dissipate until just a couple of days before the event itself - or the non-event as it was (almost) for us.
We used the gift-giving opportunities to catch up with a few things we've wanted that we just haven't bought for ourselves. I got a Kindle. Very cool. I had been fairly ambivilent about that, too; but now that I have one, I do totally understand the attraction. And an immersion blender and a new Wii game. Much fun.

Joel got a machine that will allow us to watch old VCR tapes while we record them on DVD's. That will keep up in movies for a very long time and give us something else to donate. (We seen to be forever in the get-rid-of-it mode around here.)  She got speakers for her iPod, too, so we will have great sound for the next dance (if there ever really is one...we're thinking about a Valentines's Day Dance... we'll see.)

As usual, cooking turned me around. Planning menus for Eve and Day is always fun even though we were only having three friends over. We even managed to put up a few lights outside.

Christmas Eve was a game-day so the menu was staggered over the afternoon with lovely nibbles.
There was Queso Fondue to start, with lots of lovely things to dunk: crusty bread, veggies, meatballs, and the ubiquitous chips. Later we moved to the Shrimp Shooters: these are great little shrimp cocktails served in shot glasses.
Dinner was to be a pasta with Portobello Cream Sauce, but we didn't actually get to that for a couple of days.  Just weren't hungry enough to finish it, even though the sauce was made ahead. 

Christmas Day was one of the best in recent (and not so recent) memory. Just Joel and me... 
We watched the Rose Parade, of course. And I made some Baked Eggs with Fontina and herbs and served it along side our favorite treat - Baked Bacon with chili flakes and a touch of brown sugar.
Thanks to the prep work in the days before, I had the Turkey Breast, the Dressing, Cranberry Sauce, etc. all prepped and so all was very easy. It was a wonderful lazy day. Joel watched some football, of course, and I played with my Kindle and soaked in a hot bath and sipped wine all day. Lovely.

A minor (temporary) issue with video signals that weekend prompted the search for new furniture to properly house all the electronics that we (Joel) own(s). Then the services of a technician to wire AND LABEL everything. I may even photograph it. Every wire has a label on both ends and every hole has one, too. Yea!!! and all the wires are controlled properly; twist-tied and wonderful. He'll be making one more trip soon to install some kind of switch and to program it all thru a universal remote. He was even able to connect Joel's (antique) Sega and Nintendo games.

AND, best of all for me, there is room inside the furniture for some of the s#%^, I mean tchotchkies, that sit all around here. Much cleaner/neater/more empty surfaces! And all is behind glass doors, so no kitties in there either.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I introduce a major change like this entertainment furniture, it impacts almost every other area of the house. So we are still in that process: where to put the piece that used to hold the stuff; made room for a great rocker that friends gave us; drag the old recliner out (it's still on the porch!) - you know how it goes. If it put that there, then that piece has to move here, then that makes this one.......  and so it goes.

We've also been having behavioral issues with the cats: spraying/peeing inside in VERY inappropriate places. We eliminated any medical problems so now we know they are just CRAZY! or pissed, or something.
At our wit's end and contemplating their possible move to a no-kill shelter, we finally consulted an animal communicator. Not totally sure about this, but it seems way better than no ideas at all.

She told us that the cats didn't really understand that this house is theirs and that they belong here. She said Carmel is depressed and Mango is pissed. AND, she said they knew we were thinking of getting rid of them!
She thinks that is the reason they did not control their pet-doors. Our mudroom - well, you just wouldn't believe it - other cats have been able to get in there and the marking/spraying is just unbelievable. I have no idea why it didn't stink to high heaven.
The good news is that the whole thing is very washable and virtually everything in it was stored in plastic. I spent some time under the open stairs lining them with chicken wire, and when all the storage area is repacked I'll add lattice to close that off so all that stuff will be unaccessible to any cats.
We've just about got that area finished, but I don't think we'll reopen the pet doors. They are too far away from us - the people - and I don't trust the cats to keep the neighbors out.
We've reintroduced the cats to litter boxes and have been letting them in and out thru doors. That is working very well so we may just keep it up.

It is all a work in progress; we'll see how it develops.

Aside from that, I'm still taking bass guitar lessons and have added on some Pilates. Being lazy and totally undisciplined, I practice less than I intend, but am improving on both fronts.
I just LOVE the guitar, and Pilates is much more fun than I expected. Cool. And I've created a music room/sanctuary in the former guest room. A very nice space - must get in there more often.

Joel is having increasing trouble with her back and is now contemplating a surgical procedure. She's been researching things online, ane we will go to Albuquerque on Thrusday to see her spine doctor. He's very good; our family doctor highly recommends him; and Joel is also looking into some newer less invasive procedures that are available in Dallas. So, we'll see on that. But something must change fairly soon.

And I'm at least a month behind blogs I read regularly. and writing here. I'm not sure that is going to improve very quickly. There is much I want to do and only so much energy for it.
But, I'm not dead, yet, so there is just no telling what I might be up to next.

May all be well for you in this new year.
Ta ta for now...

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here are three great quotes in honor of this holiday.

"The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything." 
Albert Schweitzer

"Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts to finding peace of mind and happiness inside. No matter what's going on outside, there's always something we can be grateful for." 
Barry Neil Kaufman

 

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." 
Johannes A. Gaertner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are home, at last. And I'm out on my last pet-job. yea!
I promised a few more pictures of the trip, and I want to share a link to some pics of a great party!

First, more Florida. We spent one night in Ft. Walton Beach, but the weather (for the first time) cooperated with some wind-sailors rather than with us. The water and winds were wild, too cold for sitting around outside. But, we found a very cool group enjoying all this wildness to go kite-boarding and wind-surfing.
And they didn't mind talking to me and answering a few questions.

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click on these to see them larger (maybe too large).
There are two kinds of activities going on and the names for them are flexible, according to one of the riders: Kite surfing or Kite boarding are fairly obvious. The rider is harnessed to a huge kite whose front edge is inflated with air to help keep it open during maneuvers. It is easy to get 'air' as you can see in the last shot; the board is similar to a snowboard. The other is Wind surfing or Wind boarding, mostly. That's the one with a mast and sail attached to a board similar to a surfboard. At the rider's chest height is a rigid curved bar that allows the rider to 'walk' around the sail to change sides/directions.

The distance shots will give you an idea (I hope) of just how many riders were out in those winds.
It was really something to see.

Now, coming from New Orleans where we saw Joel's brother, Curt, we took I-20 to Lubbock. This would be our last night on the road - just 250 miles from HOME.
We didn't know that we were arriving just in time for my Aunt Ann's 75th birthday bash! Our invitation was in our mailbox back home, having arrived after we started this little trip. And we even had dress-up clothes with us!

Ann's b-day is the 6th, but the party was on Friday, the 5th - JOEL'S BIRTHDAY!!  I call that extreme serendipity and great blessings. The party was wonderful and was in an terrifically interesting venue, that even show-cased our family.  The American Wind Power Center & Museum.
Just way too cool.

I've posted pictures of that event on Facebook. You can see them thru this public link; no need to sign up for FB. : )

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2098813&id=1352153322&l=ee4b4d4bee

It is GREAT to be home. We learned how much we really love it.
We also learned that miles of soft sand can wreak havoc on one's knees and achilles tendons.

And we learned - again - just how blessed our lives really are. May we never forget.

If it's not one thing...

Hello. I'm still here.     : )

I have some more photos and other cool things to tell you, AND
we're still having computer problems.

The (other) new one will be here in about a week and then I'll begin to catch up with myself and all of you. Until then...
Have a great day, unless you have other plans.

 

Still on the road...

...will I ever be home again?

Perhaps by Sunday.

Here are some shots from a couple of Florida beaches. We'll be going to Ft. Walton Beach tomorrow; New Orleans by late Thursday or Friday for beignets with Joel's brother, then the road home.

Those of you beginning to feel the bite of Winter...imagine yourselves here:
(if you've seen Florida photos on my FB page, you've seen these already)

  

These first two shots are Manasota Beach about 20 minutes northwest of Port Charlotte

 

 

 

These two are at Boca Grande, Southwest of P.C.

 

 

 

 

This left one is the Skyway Bridge linking Sarasota to St. Petersburg; the other is the same area just after the bridge.

 

Shots of Clearwater are still unedited, but I'll throw them up here later.

I've taken one or two quick looks at my Google Reader; I have no idea how I will ever catch up.

Hope you're all staying warm, had a great Halloween/Samhein/whatever fall thing you may celebrate, and got all the fall gardening done. I'm hoping for a couple of warm days to do a little of mine.

May all be well with you. : )

From the road...

As you might guess, I'm having too much fun to spend a great deal of time on the computer!

We're still in Florida, USA and enjoying lovely weather. The native Floridians think it is cold here - nights have been into the 50 degree (F) range from time to time. Makes me laugh, really. Back home in the mountains of New Mexico our friends are REALLY cold. Nights there have been into the 30 degree range and the heaters are on. Poor babies.

Yesterday, we spent a few hours on Manasota Beach. I had hoped to insert a picture or two, but I am on a friend's computer and ...well... it's just this way. This link will show you a few lovely things even though they are not my own pictures.

Also, due to technical difficulties with the internet connection here at my friend's house, I'm also not able to check up on my Google Reader links and so haven't found most of you. I'm woefully behind on checking up on what you are up to these days. I confess, I really only miss you while I'm having my morning coffee; otherwise, I'm just having way too much fun.

We'll settle in by a good WiFi connection one of these days and I'll check in. Meanwhile, may all be well with you.

ttfn

Hearts and Hockey Players

Haven't been here for awhile. Lots of stuff – and nothing going on.  thought I'd say so, so you stop wondering...if you are.

Things are blue around here. My best friend of the heart is moving to Florida in 4 days. I’ve been in her house here for 12 days, taking care of her dog and packing stuff. Practicing not thinking about it. I can do the denial part because Joel and I will be traveling to see her in mid-October. So I’ve put off the tears, mostly, except now & then…now.
And with Skype, we can still have our weekly coffee klatches. It just will be different. Oh, well…

On the 10^th, my friend, Michael Schwass died. He is/was an amazing person who took a major life-changing event and turned it into inspiration, hope, incentive, courage, and even joy for hundreds – maybe thousands – of others. You can read one of the obituaries here. But there is no real reason to do so…they don’t really give you any sense of the man.
(adding a link to the obit from the Chicago Sun-Times)

I met him through my friend Laura, who has been one of his best friends for umpteen years, and was a my business, then life coach and now a friend of the heart. My sense of Michael grew out of Laura’s writings about her relationship with Michael, and with the prep work they were both doing around his ultimate death.
You see, Michael was a quadraplegic. He lived longer than most with that condition because of his drive, his huge heart, and his determination that paraplegia would be something from which he learned and taught, not some curse that just happened. Laura explored much of that, and wrote about it as part of her own preparation for his leaving this physical plane, and also because she is so totally committed to living consciously – which, of course, includes dying consciously. This is one little thing she wrote recently about all of this:

“[I am] VERY aware of what a gift it is to only ONLY be sad.
Nothing was left unsaid or undone.
That is an extraordinary feeling and a gift I will cherish the rest of my days.”

(if you’re interested, here is a link to a post Laura wrote a few days ago; and this is a link to a whole bunch of posts about Michael and consciousness – including one called “Giggling at the Cemetery”)

So much of my present work around consciousness was nurtured by her writings and by reading about and, finally, meeting Michael.

And to all of this, I’ll say that Joel and I are looking at some possible changes of the ‘big’ sort. While we are in Florida, we will explore the possibilities of moving there or acquiring a ‘vacation’ home of some sort. Maybe just something we can rent frequently or … I have no idea what we will see, decide, think… much of this bumps up against some of my ‘issues’ if you will. J It’s funny, really, and more stressful than I imagined.

Joel is about to be 70. We’re going to the beach for her birthday.

And I am claiming our former guest room as my sanctuary. In the midst of rearranging, decluttering, and deciding how to turn this tiny space into a cloister.

Life’s a ride, isn’t it?!
…speaking of which, this last weekend has been a motorcycle festival – the noise was phenomenal!

So, blog friends, I am both here and absent. And way behind on most of your writings, too. I’ll catch up one day.

Blessings to you all from a very full heart.

Harvard Medical School recommends Tai Chi...again.

Harvard University Medical School has just published a report on “The Health Benefits of Tai Chi” that calls Tai Chi “medication in motion.” Since Tai Chi is a subset of Qigong, all of this information applies to Qigong as well. It cites research for “No Pain, Big Gains” including improvements in muscle strength, flexibility, balance, and aerobic conditioning. Under the category “Tai Chi for Medical Conditions” it recommends Tai Chi as complementary therapy for arthritis, low bone density, breast cancer, heart disease, heart failure, hypertension, Parkinson’s disease, sleep problems, and stroke.

This article is written in plain English, not medical jargon.

And I can testify that these claims are true. I've been taking classes and practicing for about 5 years. We do the Yang form; my teacher trained under Grandmaster William C.C. Chen in New York, USA, and others. I was lucky enough to attend a weekend workshop with him in 2007 in Phoenix.

I love this class. I would say that my biggest gains from this would be in flexibility and balance, but I also see gains in lower body strength and Much less fear of falling. I have chronic spinal issues, and though it has not been 'officially' diagnosed, I suspect that arthritis is creeping into my hip joints. A few times through the form in the morning helps tremendously in getting past that morning stiffness. Also, my regular breathing is deeper and slower, and I am able to relax much more completely. Just the body awareness alone is worth the exercise. And I even walk a little differently now: more confidently and relaxed.

There are many ways to learn. The article referenced here even mentions books and video, but I would strongly recommend a real live teacher. If that is not available to you, then I suggest something like Lee Holden's DVD on QiGong for Seniors. We have this loaded into our home DVD player and also my laptop for when we travel.

I'm going to put a couple of YouTube links in this post, but there are nuances that you just won't catch all by yourself. And most of the videos I've found are showing people in positions that might be inappropriate for some individuals, or just slightly too low or stretched; and of course, they cannot take into consideration any of your physical issues in the way that a live teacher can. And in one of my favorite videos the teacher, Tiffany Chen, is performing a mirror-image version of the words she is speaking. You might want to watch this one with the sound off!

This video is of Grandmaster William Chen leading a repetition of the first few moves. (mirror image again)

There are literally tons of tai chi videos available on YouTube; some are good, some not, and in most cases, I just don't have the experience to comment. I have had only two teachers so far, and practiced only one style: Grandmaster W.C.C. Chen's version of the Yang form. Have fun if you go exploring.

 

Catching Up with 'fates', 'what-ifs', 'as-it-is', etc....and why I've been gone...

I've been off this site a few days playing with my guitar - and I mean that in every fun way possible. Such wonderful play. For those who don't know yet, I am learning/re-learning to play bass; this time an acoustic one that also accepts an amplifier...for my future concerts, I suppose!   : )

I call it a chass, though, (pronounced chase, to rhyme) because I had a cello foot added to it. The bass is BIG and it was tricky to hold in front of my buddha belly, and because my wrists are happier this way, too. And because it's quirky and different.

Here it is in all its glory:

You can see the foot in its retracted position.

I've just fallen in love with it. Years ago - almost 30! - I played an electric bass with a local (and very bad) bluegrass band who mostly played for fun at each others' parties. That was usually a two-note oompa kind of thing. Took very little skill and was much fun, too, though not the same fun I'm having now.

This time, I'm really learning, starting (and continuing) with scales and various exercises and working with a great teacher once a week. Most of his students are 6-string players, as is he, so I'm learning bass parts to things from their repertoires in preparation for a' recital' at a local tavern. I use the term recital very loosely here.

And I learned "When I'm 64" by the Beatles". I had to work quickly on that; I have only one more year before I'm too old to sing it - or have to change the number. How about 'When I'm 94'?! Just now, I'm polishing up Blackbird also by the Beatles.

***********************

But, back to the point of this post.

The oldest post in this particular stream is "...What-ifs". In that one I began to touch on some of the ideas I'm exploring and implementing in my life right now. Some of the comments on that post inspired the next one: "Continuing ..." and really dealt with semantics and perhaps a tiny bit of expansion of the ideas expressed before. More comments and some great support on that post then prompted "IF the fates...", and in a comment there Ruth asked about my background and a bit of the story of how I came to think like this.

First, let me say that conversation like this is the true beauty and glory of blogging and why I may never stop it. Yes, there is some ego stroking involved; but even more than that, the comments make me think and require that I be as clear as possible.

I gave Ruth some very brief answers in an email, but I will expand here a little more.

But I want to acknowledge my reticence about all of this, especially the discussing of it in this more or less public format. You'll understand that when I tell you that I grew up in a middle class family in Texas, the oldest child of a divorced woman in an era when that was rare. We were fundamental evangelical Christians before those terms were widely applied to us, and I was completely immersed in the Church; to the extent that I taught Sunday School and participated in one 'foreign' mission just after high school. That mission was to Liverpool, England and was the beginning of my questioning. A year after that, I went to a Christian college. Interestingly enough I began to explore freedom there. Another whole story, and not for right now.  

To this day, most of my biological family still hold those beliefs and are very active in their participation. Some are quite likely to consider that I have fallen away from the church and are likely to consider that I am some major sinner. But then, by their lights, we are all sinners and only have a possibility of being anything else by virtue of Jesus's sacrifice.  (I could riff off on that topic, too, but won't do so here and now.)

My family is wonderful. They are loving and generous. They just think I'm wrong. They hope I will 'come back' to the fold.
It threw a few of them for a loop when I realized I was gay, and married my wife over 16 years ago. But they are nothing, if not civil. They treat us well, love us as they can, and never turn a cold shoulder. I am very proud of my heritage. I just don't agree with them. In my family this kind of difference of opinion seems to close conversation rather than opening one.

Most of them, I think, do not know of this blog. I do know that in the past, my sister has read this. She never comments on it, and only once sent an email to me about some particular post, and that was to reach out and reassure me during a period of the glooms in my life.
I would not willingly hurt them, though I know that I have done so in the past, and that some may feel hurt by what they think about my current religious condition.

Wow, that was a much longer ramble than I intended, but I will leave it. Susan, if you're reading...well, I love you. Comment or email if you will.

Over the next forty years I explored several traditional religions, was an active Episcopalian for a number of years, was introduced to New Age thought, rejected it, came back, learned a lot about myself through various therapies including a 12-step program and several psychologists. I'm still learning. I knew, and know, a lot about what I 'should' be and do, and for decades I KNEW that I was not worthy of ...much of anything. I have always felt a very strong pull toward god, and would have joined a convent if I could have. These days I would still join one, if it weren't Christian. A contemplative life would suit me very well. (Though, I suppose that The Singing Nun has already been done.)

The thoughts and ideas that work for me now are the ones that I have found to be consistent across all of the religions/spiritual ideas that I have explored: those ideas that I am a piece of God; that I can co-create my life and its conditions by my thoughts, intentions, and energy; that I am not separate from - or different from - god, or you, or the air, or that rock over there. And most especially, right now, the idea that my thoughts, words, and actions do in fact manifest in my life constantly and consistently when I align my vibrational energy to that Stream of energy we often call God. (But could as easily and accurately call Source, Divine Mind, Cosmic Consciousness or ...whatever.)

Right now, the voice speaking to me most clearly is that of Abraham, a group of non-physical beings who speak through a woman named Esther Hicks.

There is a daily quote that appears in the top left sidebar that comes from their website and they are all over the place. Many people post their material; Esther is the one in the black pantsuit. The material is Law of Attraction. It is NOT 'The Secret'. The material from the book/DVD known as The Secret turned me off completely for several reasons. Though Esther and Jerry Hicks were part of the original film, they withdrew when circumstances of the agreements changed. If you are interested in that, you can hear Esther and Jerry comment here. I think that this may be some of the deleted scenes to which they refer. There are many postings to YouTube, including those who want to judge this material as being 'of the devil'...whatever that may mean.

Some people call what happens with Esther 'channeling'. She does not. Nor do I have an opinion about that. I don't care what it is. For me, what it is is Truth. It gives me goosebumps and makes me joyful in ways that my family church did not. It is eliminating my need to judge others, and beginning to relieve many stresses in my life. It's working for me. That is all that really matters to me. I feel closer to god - all the time. And I don't really care whether it resonates for you or not. I believe that each individual is quite capable of choosing their own spiritual path and that none of them are wrong. Most importantly to me, this current path is allowing me to deal with self-esteem issues that have endured for decades. I feel now that I am actually worthy of a complete and close relationship with that energy commonly called God. I don't know her/his/its name (though I'd still like to know). I don't use the God word usually because so many make assumptions about what I mean. And I no longer consider myself a Christian. I'm just me. One with all things.

You know...this has gone on much longer than I intended, and in looking for these links for you, I find I want to take a break and listen to Abraham some more. They are right here ....

see you later.

eeeekkk..... will I leave the Facebook button checked?...........what a coward I have remained...

I must write, mustn't I?

Riffing off of my own (mild) guilt about the frequency of my posts, and inspired by Friko's terrific post, I show up here today.

It is only to say, though, that I am still not really here... 

Ruth, I am thrilled by your comments and questions and absolutely intend to answer them, it's just that...

I'VE GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!!!!

I've been learning and playing an acoustic bass guitar over the last few months and now I can actually play a few things. I'm so excited about it, I can hardly stand myself.  And I can't stop right now, even for you. I have a great teacher named Tradd who comes weekly. I've discovered TONS of terrifically helpful videos on YouTube from musicians who play as I do, or even professionally, and who post fingerings and lessons and great stuff I can play with.  (...'with which I can play' does not fit my image of the usual bass player. )

So, for my faithful readers (no, you won't see the 'Follow' widget here), please bear with me a little longer. I'll be back.

Continuing the "Fates" conversation.

Ursula, the words that work for me may not be the ones that work for you. Even English words won't mean the same for women who are native speakers of two different languages. Then when you add on the variances of dialect, or education, or colloquialisms you sink in a murky pool of who knows what.

In my mind 'accept' or 'acceptance' can have an element of judgment such as is implied here:
"2 : to give admittance or approval to <accept her as one of the group>"

or it carries a negative emotion for me as in this:
"a : to endure without protest or reaction <accept poor living conditions> b : to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable <the idea is widely accepted>"

On the other hand, to allow seems to connote more freedom:

1.

to give permission to or for; permit: to allow a student to be absent; No swimming allowed.

2.

to let have; give as one's share; grant as one's right: to allow a person $100 for expenses.

3.

to permit by neglect, oversight, or the like: to allow a door to remain open.

4.

to admit; acknowledge; concede: to allow a claim.

5.

to take into consideration, as by adding or subtracting; set apart: to allow an hour for changing trains.

(I was happy to note that I understand these words in ways that match up with the dictionary.) : )

The other place, Ursula, where I take a different route is that I believe that no circumstance in the world 'out there' needs changing.
(I feel as if I am sticking my neck out here, but ...
writing it may help it all come clearer for me, too.)

I think that all these circumstances that so many of us think need changing, would completely disappear if we took all of our attention away from them. That's how I understand the bottom line of my present spiritual position. The ONLY things that I can change are the circumstances of my own life in my own space, relationships, economics, etc.

And the best way to change a circumstance in my life that I do not want is to turn my attention away from that, and create what I DO want by consciously intending/creating that picture and then allowing it to come to me - because Source has already said Yes. I just need to get in the right river. In the flow ... 

no more....more rumination needed...or maybe just some Rumi.   :)

IF the Fates Allow...

Do the fates allow? Are there Fates? hmmm...    

I think not.

(This post is growing out of inspiration from Ursula in her comment on my previous post.
Thanks, Ursula; this kind of conversation is one of the main reasons I blog. )

Now then: for me, No Fates.
I've always had a problem with trying to understand or believe in a god that could say to her/his/? children, "No. He can have that, but you can't." Or "suffering" makes you holy".

What I've come to understand and believe now is that there is Source -(One) (God) (Cosmic Mind)- whatever name it has/uses - we use - it is all the same. And that One has manifested all over this planet as the things we see: humans, animals, rocks, weather, everything pretty much that we might associate with a loving spiritual entity.

And my circumstances in this life on this planet is directly related to my personal allowing of that Source to operate in, as, and through me. 

This belief is changing the way I look at everything. Most especially at myself.
It's not scary this time.
When I'm in the flow of the energy of Source, I am joyful. The lessons come in learning to stay in that flow; how to notice when I'm not in it; and the steps to take to return to it as soon as possible.

These theories also buck a lot of my religious background, the beliefs of people close to me - indeed, a great deal of the population! So I tussle with myself from time to time - sometimes hour to hour : )

This is all you get today. Deep - must sit with it/in it... later friends

As it is...?

Life as it is.
That's just the way things go.
That's how it is.
We've always done it that way.

Oh,yeah?

well...

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.
You can't fix the problem with the same thinking that caused the problem.

There are tons of examples for ignoring what is in favor of what one wants.
Like the basketball players who visualize making baskets to improve their shooting. 

I imagine it a bit like skeet shooting in sloooww motion.
Life is the target moving thru the air..the what is.
I don't aim at what is. I must aim out in front of that.
I must imagine where the target will be when my bullet gets there.
And once I've pulled the trigger, I'm done. Nothing else to do but wait.

OK>>>that's a really bad analogy, but all you're getting today. MUCH more fun things to do... I just want to say that LIFE - as it is -  ain't all that much, and focusing on what (you think) IS, won't get you to where you COULD be. ever.

Ouch; scratch me, and my Ego still bleeds

I LOVE aging.
I love the piles of adventures and experience;
I love learning (at last) more about what my body will and will not put up with; when to push it and when to coddle it; when it complains out of laziness or is speaking of what it really needs.

I love listening: to my body, to my heart, and to rain and crickets and vocal harmony, and to the tears of a friend.

I love love love learning about (and in) relationship: with my wife, with friends, teachers, strangers…whomever. All of them are buddhas; likely or unlikely, I learn from them all. That was not always the case.

I love being able to translate these things and the life lessons they brought, into the chart that has become my spiritual and ethical center.

 

AND my capital E ego can still cringe at times. Even bleed a little. What makes it different now is the perspective that aging brings. What would have been a huge cause for major drama and lament only a few years ago, is now just a little scratch. It doesn’t need a bandage anymore. It just reminds me that I am still in a human body and still dancing with that ego. And I can smile and think, how wonderful that I am still learning. And that, now – usually sooner rather than later - I can tell when my dance partner is that Ego and when it is a better part of me.

 

I would not trade my years for anything at all.

As for the practice...

It's as if I never mentioned the idea in the first place.

Oh, I can tell you several reasons, but there are really no excuses beyond profound laziness. Now, how on earth do I make that concept 'downstream'?

Meanwhile, I'm a little more than halfway thru this long pet job and contemplating never doing it again. 

So, off to the showers before a Rolfing session; later a guitar lesson, then Tai Chi and a meditation practice. sounds good. see you later.

My New Computer is on the way!!!

I am getting very revved up to see this thing. Joel found it for me, and then had to talk me into it. Do you suppose she's a bit tired of hearing my grumblings over these last two?  

Anyway, any day now and I can hardly wait. She found it on QVC, of all places! An HP (had one in the past and liked it) laptop, 17" monitor, and tons of bells and whistles, including a remote control if I want to give Slide shows or something!!!

Hoping for delivery today, but more likely Friday!  YEA!

More on my love/hate relationship with computers...

Today I'm typing from a friend's computer while on a short pet-sitting job. She uses AOL to get to the 'net', and I don't like it!
So I'll learn patience and flexibility. Cool...

This job is just for two days or I would have brought my own - but then, that's not such a great deal either. It's approaching the time to purchase another one, but I confess that it rankles just a bit.
And the rankling rankles! This 'going with the flow' stuff is tricky to navigate.

I was just reminded (Thanks, Marcia) about the interesting people one can meet thru blogging and other social networks by my recent discovery of this terrific blog: Well Aged with Some Marbling.
Marcia is funny and insightful and writes well. You might enjoy it, too.
But in using AOL, with which I am very unfamiliar, in trying to link with her and respond to her - I found myself really missing the Tabs available in other browsers. I'm sure there is a way to open Firefox or something, but I hesitate to mess too much with someone else's computer.

I've also been exploring the channeled works of Abraham, a collection of 'beings in non-human form' who manifest in this plane though a woman named Esther. Excerpts are now appearing up top in the left sidebar on this blog.
I must say, I have no strong feeling one way or the other about 'channeling'. I used to poo-poo it; there was probably a time when I would have considered it charlatanism or down-right evil. What moves me in the words of Abraham are my feelings of complete rightness in what I'm hearing. You'll have to decide for yourself, both whether to look or not - to allow or not.

I have found that I can not ignore what I'm hearing. For a very long time I've held the belief (with many others) that our thoughts and words have energy of their own, and I work consistently to make my thoughts & language intentional. Abraham teaches that, too. Basically, they teach the Law of Attraction - though when that came to me in the form of The Secret, I could not run fast enough in another direction. Funny, this mind of mine.  Because here I am now, caught hook line and sinker and enjoying the ride immensely. I'll be speaking of it more in the future, I'm sure.

So, back to computers and rankling... I'm torn between just buying one, and the frustration of knowing that it, too, will succumbto obsolescence and short-term memory problems some time in a future nearer than I think appropriate.  ...sigh...  According to Abraham, if I stay in the flow and focus on what I want, the right computer will appear at the right time, at the right price, and will be perfect in every way.

As in all things - UP UNTIL NOW - my skeptical mind is OK with the theory, but the faith is has been harder to come by. Practice, practice, practice...

Which calls Jim to mind. My T'ai Chi teacher and friend. though I have been taking his classes for several years now, and even leading the class now & then when he must be away, I have yet to create a consistent daily practice - of T'ai Chi or any other discipline. To Jim, that's laziness. And to me, too, really. I don't want to hear that, though. (I'm thinking of you, too, Laura.)   :)

On Wednesday, I start a new pet-sitting job that will last 6 weeks. Forty-two days seems like a good length of time for starting a new habit, refocusing my mind, and creating a daily practice. I'm making a commitment to myself to do that, and I'll tell you here how it's going from time to time.

It will include T'ai Chi, my bass, and a daily workshop as described by Abraham. It may or may not include meditation.
So, what might be different this time? We'll see...

TTFN...

'Why' may be the most useLESS question ever asked

Declan Galbraith is a very good singer/songwriter, maybe a great one someday.
And it is certainly true that this is musically beautiful.

But in my opinion, the Why question may sound pertinent but only adds to the confusion and problems that we experience. The question implies an answer, for one thing. And even when there IS one, no answer to this question provides a change in the condition. Constantly screaming/asking/meditating/singing on a why question for any situation simply focuses one's mind on the problem.

Contrast this song (above) with Bette Midler's From a Distance.

Just consider the differences in these verses:

In my dream children sing a song of love for every boy and girl
The sky is blue and fields are green and laughter is the language of the world
Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need

Tell me why (why, why, does the tiger run)
Tell me why (why why do we shoot the gun)
Tell me why (why, why do we never learn)
Can someone tell us why we let the forest burn?

(Why, why do we say we care)
Tell me why (why, why do we stand and stare)
Tell me why (why, why do the dolphins cry)
Can some one tell us why we let the ocean die?
                              

    Then this.....

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
                                       

The differences I hear in these lyrics are HUGE. And reflect what I hear in the people around me everyday. We, the editorial we (I pray), simply do not (maybe can not) hear our own negativity. We fell in love with The Secret; we joined Oprah's group to discuss Eckhart Tolle, and for what? I don't know; I can't see any differences anywhere.

I'm running out of people to talk to. I'm hyper-sensitive these days to language and connotation and intent. The world seems to be on such a completely irreversible course straight to extinction. And I can't help but see that (extinction) as the perfectly natural and appropriate consequence of the decisions we have made.

Decisions about how we keep score and what we value are critical to every aspect of our lives. And yet, we seem not to get that connection between those things and the conditions we see around us everyday. We bemoan our educational system without realizing that it suffers because we prefer to reward football players and actors much more than teachers. Many of us suffer and even die because we value drug companies and specialists more than nature and life-style changes. We invest billions in drug companies and gurus to keep us living longer on a planet that we KNOW is dying from overpopulation and disregard. We created a political system that enforces and guarantees a gulf between We the People and those who claim to represent us. And then we watch them argue for power among themselves while they claim to serve.

Here's a 'why' question for you: Why would any rational conscious person on this planet want to live one single second longer than absolutely necessary?

I don't get it. I don't get why there are still starving people in African deserts. Or anywhere else for that matter. We don't have to step back to any great distance to know that many people throw away more food than some villages ever see. We KNOW, if we look, that today's bag of rice is feeding the great-great grandchildren of the same people we sent a bag of rice to yesterday.

Duh!?

My friend, Nancy, and I speak a similar language. She thinks I need to get out more...out of town, that is. This is a  touristy little berg in the boonies of southern New Mexico, full of realtors and retirees and is extremely conservative and fundamental. I suspect she may be right; my horizons here are WAY too narrow.

Perhaps I'm just dancing with my dark side. It's true that my thinking can be a bit compulsive. 

In any case, I've been working on this draft for 3 days and that is more than enough time to spend of something I can effect only in my own heart. Nancy & I are planning a day trip to the Bosque; just we and about a gazillion feathered friends. Undoubtedly, they can blow away these current winds of ...whatever this is...this absence of god...this futility that I feel.

Thankfully, none of those things I decry are real.
It's just me & my mind wallowing in the trough of disconnection. It's a temporary aberration.

I'll be back. 

The Ongoing Saga of the Battle Between Ego & Spirit

There may be more rambling than saga here, but... it's a blog after all - not a thesis.
(I looked thesis up, and it is that, actually: 3. A hypothetical proposition, especially one put forth without proof.)   :)

As some of you may know, raising my consciousness/awareness is a value I hold. It's one that often conflicts with other things going on in my (moderately compulsive) brain.

Increasing my awareness about the food I consume is one of the ways I advance this ideal of mine. Lately, that has been fueled by Michael Pollan and his books. And also by the film Food, Inc. and stuff I'm reading around the web, such as articles by my friend Laura. Moving my body a bit is another way. This manifests as continuing lessons in T'ai Chi but has not yet presented as a regular daily practice.

So, what's the battle?

Well, I was watching a trainer speaking to a group of women the other day (TV). He was teaching them this mantra: "Exercise is not negotiable," and suggesting (strongly) some very drastic (to me) changes in their eating habits. He seemed to want them to believe that they truly had NO choice. Basically, his message was exercise and eat right or DIE. And his absolute, in the 'not negotiable' sentence raised all my hackles and fired up my ego and compelled me to yell at the screen: "Oh, yeah! Of course, it is negotiable, you idiot."
I can choose dying.

And there is the dilemma.

I think that it may be a responsibility of mine to get off this planet as soon as the trip takes me to that point. It's not about suicide; it's about too many people. It's not about me; it's about the planet. It's not about health, per se, it's about consequences.

It's balancing my food addiction and my real love of all things food, with my increasing spirituality and consciousness. I suspect that it's mostly denial, as in that river in which so many of us are floundering.

My addiction is quite active. If I am not eating (or maybe while I'm eating), I'm planning the next food opportunity: recipe search, shopping, prepping, cooking, serving, and back to eating again. I love cooking for other people. And while all my choices for guests consider their own food issues or goals or tastes, I'm drawn, still, to all those old comfort-foods that continue to work for me.
(What fun I am already having preparing the Super Bowl Party food! I could care less about the game.)

So, I have a long way to go here.

I'm sure I will continue to evolve. I think I could not really stop evolving, even if I tried. And I'm fairly sure that spirit/god understands the 'thing' I have with food even though I clearly do not, as  yet.

Balance is the only way I can think of these matters at the moment. And I don't pretend for a moment that I am actually IN balance. (Work-in-progress...hold that thought.)

Some of what feeds the confusion or inability (or unwillingness) to move in one direction or the other is what I see when I look around me at stuff on TV; at some of the people I know; at national and world politics; at the way we teach each other and our kids to value score-keeping over consciousness.

Gotta go play with someone else's computer... I'll be back to this.

Last Day on the Hillside

Another windy day. Brrrrr
Happy to be going home

I'll be sleeping at home tonight. ; D

My Chibees

I borrowed that term Chibees from friend and fellow student Marc. He's center front; flanked on the left by sifu Jim, and yours truly.

Back row from left is Sidney, Connie, Gary, Vicki, Annette, Mary, and Tony. Missing that day were Barbara, Len, Clara, and Cleis. I'll catch them on film one of these days.

This particular photo was taken by Marc.

Update on Joel and things ES

Today is Monday, September 21st. There are only 4 earthship days remaining. YEA!!!!

Joel is back home after a really tough couple of weeks. Since the last post (mentioning ER and recovery), she went to the ER a second time last Thursday and ended up spending a couple of nights in the hospital.

There was a period of time in the ER when we were being told she had pneumonia, but thankfully it was really only bronchitis. She did have the flu, too. So what knocked her down was a combination punch of UTI, flu (NOT H1N1), and bronchitis.

This time, she really IS much better. I brought her home yesterday afternoon. She was stronger, though still weak, and more interested in a little food than she has been for about 10 days. I'm still at the ES for a few days, so friends have offered to help out. She'll finish a course of antibiotics and take some breathing treatments for a couple of days. It's really nice to see her looking good again.

What she REALLY needs right now is an Animal Control officer. She called about 9:30 last night to tell me that a skunk had come in thru one of the pet doors and was hanging out in the mud room. Given her health, the lateness of the hour, and my absence from the scene, she decided to call the cats in (thru a regular door), secure pet doors so the skunk couldn't get into the house - and go to bed. We're hoping that all the drama is over this morning, but if not we'll let the Hall boys handle it. (We LOVE our Ruidoso Pest Control folks!)

But really! What else can happen right now? 

Thanks everyone, for your help, prayers, and Jess - the banana pudding is GREAT!

Thought about the ES experience.

I'll be really glad when Thursday rolls around and the ship commitment is over, but it has not been all bad. In fact, the stuff I have not enjoyed has taught me more, AND allowed me to appreciate the stuff I do enjoy; like today's sunshine, the gorgeous skies (in all kinds of weather), and the quiet. And I learned that quiet is relative and often generated internally...

amazing, huh?

Joel crashed & burned!

...Though evidence of recovery is showing up. Yea. I mean, really, she's going to be fine.

I know a few of you see this or Facebook even when we're not keeping up well by email; hence this post. 

Joel saw the doc about a week ago for a minor UTI, and had just started treatment for that, when a nasty flu bug bit her in the butt and took her out. Big Time!

She has been flat on her back since Saturday (including several hours in the ER on Sunday). That was triggered by pain from the UTI, but the dehydration they found and the weakness prompted the flu test. So really, that was all for the good.

She saw her own doc on Monday who put her on more meds, and now she has turned a corner. Even she is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Poor baby.
All things considered, she is MUCH better this morning, though still weak and recovering. I don't think anyone local needs to show up at the door yet, but she's ready to check email now & then.

Shaula, thanks TONS for helping while I handled things at the ES in Capitan!!!  :)

   

Labor Day: not laboring, just thinking

After doing a few online chores and being VERY grateful that the rain is saving me (once again) from the pig-pen chore, I went bouncing around a few of the blogs I read.

Looks like I may need a new list.

Yes, many Americans are having a tough time. Some stories can be quite disheartening, and some of them are not so far from home.

But, tell me, please, what does all this complaining accomplish?

At this blog - KateThoughts - we hold a more positive point of view, and a much broader one. It's all about perspective. Everything is always about perspective.
Perspective and attraction. And no, I'm not fond of The Secret. But I do thoroughly believe that my thoughts, words, and actions have energy & power. Where I place my focus gets BIGGER. If I consistently focus on pain, it hurts MORE, not less. And if I spend my energy complaining of the economy, it will continue to cause struggle for me.

So, 'woe is me/us' posts don't stay on my screen very long. The one thing they accomplish for me is to switch me over into grateful thoughts, almost instantly. 

It seems very important to me - especially in times like these - that we look for the things about which we can be grateful. And about the ways we can lift up those around us who might enjoy a little 'light'. Not everyone we know will want to step out of the complaining/whining stuff. Many don't even know there can be an option. 

So, on this Labor Day, I am grateful for:

• Retirement (thanks Mom & DM)
• Tremendous opportunities to be helpful financially & energetically
• Horizons - and the pet job that brings me to the countryside
• Summer rain showers
• Computers and telephones
• and Awareness:
  that there is so much to be grateful for
  that thoughts have energy
  that tough times can bring insight & inspiration
  that how I 'take' things is a choice I make - repeatedly

So have a nice day,
unless you have other plans, of course.

:)

It's been awhile...

Happy Sunday Afternoon...to be followed shortly by wishes for ...Happy Labor Day. (tho I hope you don't have to labor over anything tomorrow...)

I'm out at the Earthship Adventure. I was planning to add some photos to my FB page, but that application seems to be having trouble...for a couple of days. Here's a cool site that gives a little overview of Earthship construction and operation. THIS one is not exactly like those in the link, but is VERY similar. Not all 'systems' are operational yet.

All I really want to do is sleep and whine. It's too hot for the former, and just too horrible to contemplate the latter, so I'll post some of the photos I was going to put on FB.

Exterior -

                                   

and now I'm having problems with this..............Aaarrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhh!!! Check the link above; it shows great stuff about earthships and has some videos also.  I'm going outside to throw rocks.

Inspiration v. Marketing...Inspiration & Marketing

This is a lovely video about Nature and her inspiring qualities.

Be ready for the major marketing campaign should you click on anything that comes on your screen after the movie plays.

I don't know the answer (yet) to this current quandary of mine. Perhaps you have opinions that might enlighten me.

HMHC is in the middle of Peace Village - a day camp for young kids that includes a segment on media literacy. I'm wondering who's teaching that subject to the rest of us. And I wonder about the 'real' value of films such as the one linked above when its primary function seems to be about selling books and other products.

Do I need a book on Nature, or do I need to go outside?
I'm feeling a little schizo about this already. I love inspirational books, picture books, things that inspire, and I spend money on them.
Someone takes the photos, finds the quotes, publishes...and all the tons of chores attached to producing the book, the video, the ad campaign.
Hell, I'm even filing a bunch of my own photos under the heading of 'the book project'.

And yet, I'm bothered by....this?
        maybe not...
I guess it's mostly the constant barrage of advertising that comes our way on a minute by minute basis. I believe myself to be at least somewhat literate about such media and I still can be caught in the net. I love HGTV, too. And the shows are becoming increasingly about things to sell.

...
OK.
Enough for now. I'll be better off in this moment to go outside. I don't know the answer; don't really need to know the answer. For my inspiration just now, I'll go outside.  You go, too. Your back yard is far enough, though the world awaits.
:)

Skyscapes and Weather Balloons

I'm still in the midst of a 3 1/2 week pet-sitting job in a place with a wonderful view of 'the mountain'. That's Sierra Blanca for those who want to know.

I was out on the deck late yesterday afternoon when I saw a really bright ..something..in the sky.  My camera only did a so-so job on it, but you'll be able to see the lines and the 'package' hanging  below. Check 'em out. Click on these to enlarge, especially the first one. In the bigger version, you can see the balloon in relation to the mountain.

 

       

I wish you could have seen the view thru the binoculars. The envelope was clear and radiating iridescent sunlight. Just so very beautiful.

And here are a couple of little treasures:
god made 'em; I just clicked the shutter.  :)

  

Just one more for today ~ another feel-good post

Today is the 15th anniversary of my wedding to Joel. Hooray for us. Here's "our song"...

I love you, baby girl.
Thanks for hanging in there and being such a great teacher.
What a trip we're on...   :)

Pet & House Sitting is verrrry interesting

This is my first one. Just a one-nighter. I've got one coming up in May that is 3 1/2 weeks long! Yikes!

So here's the deal: One must figure out the stuff one needs to bring along. The pets are no problem; the house is no problem. Here's the problem:

New Lyrics to a great old song.

Joel & I rewrote the lyrics to You Are My Sunshine, shortly after we were married. We're hitting 15 years next week! Yea Us!!

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll always know, dear, how much I love you,
And our sunshine is here to stay.

I was going to post a YouTube video or two, but the real lyrics are SOOOO sad...

Forget your troubles, come on, get Happy!
We're gonna chase all the Blues away.

Two Kinds of FUN!

People passed on two little treasures to me today that I want to save here.
Hope you enjoy them!

The first one is a performance by a jump-roping group called King's Firecrackers.

I can't imagine hopping 7 times, much less 7 MINUTES! Great workout, though.

Now, enjoy this performance in the Central Station of Antwerp, Belgium.
It's a promo for a new TV show.

And that concludes today's broadcast, ladies & gentlemen, and any who would choose a different category. May you set down the burdens that are not your own.