I LOVE this shit. The 'angst' and all... need a name for it.. Maybe Angstall... open to suggestions. :)
It's dramatic; intense; emotional... things I love...had to take a few years of Holotropic Breathwork to get the emotion OUT, and learn to be ok with that. And now I'm a big advocate for its value.
and Powerful & empowering. Like F YOU, (overwhelm, traffic, dementia, what EVER you decide to throw at me)...including Joel's apparent conviction that I am abandoning her to horrible torture.
it's very ventilating...head & heart are always clearer afterwards. I can get tad prideful about that, but it's a phase.
and it's MINE. It lets me know that the load is too heavy (in that moment); it's calling my attention to a better and different reason to treat myself better. It's my voice. it belongs to no one else.
So all in all 'school' is fine. I would like to be able to carve out a few days of absolute solitude...but so far, I don't see a reasonable way to that that is just not more self-ISH than I can manage right now.
I'm fine with that, too. For now.