JOEL WALKED WITH JUST A CANE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Joel's extension and flexion continue to improve; astounding when I consider how little work she actually puts in.) ( also, the doc thinks the breathing problems may come from a long undiagnosed issue such as asthma or similar and has added a Rx for that. )
Must step back to Wednesday for a moment. I thought I might get a chance to go to my TC class, but the PT, Marla (whom we love, btw) didn't leave until about 5:45. sigh
I'm going to try for Saturday, but that's unlikely. Getting all the meds done, dogs fed/walked, & just stuff by 8:00 am is just not possible unless Joel wakes by 6:00 and that's not really in her best interest.
The day (Wed) was crazy with a trip to the doc, one visit from a nurse, and the PT. It all went pretty well but that sort of schedule is wearing on both of us. It takes a full 20 minutes just to gather stuff and get to the car.
In addition to that I was not letting the dogs out on the right schedule. (Those babies are getting short shrift these days.) I found that Maxie had pooped in our bedroom, less than a foot away from a potty pad. She knows how to pee on one. ?? And yes, I can tell who left the piles.
When I found the same thing later that night, I almost lost it. Pressure had been building all afternoon. I knew it, could feel it, just couldn't get 10 minutes without someone needing something.
I'm pretty happy with how I resolved it so I'm going to brag on it a bit...AND I attribute it to the Practice, so it fits here, right?! :)
I took several deep breaths to cap the energy just a bit, then I came to Joel and told her that I was confident that she was well enough, and not drug-dopey, so that she could hear me; please listen. I let her know that I wasn't angry with her, personally, but that I was about to blow a gasket. Told her I was taking one hour to myself in our bedroom and that she would need her loudest whistle and a dire emergency to interrupt me. I took a couple of minutes to make sure she had water, ice on the leg, etc. then I went to my cloister.
It worked so well.
I dealt with the physical energy by making beds and rearranging furniture, then by some stretching exercises, and lastly a couple of rounds thru the 5 Elements form. Then I sat. Just sat on the side of the bed and breathed. and breathed.. And breathed... :) I didn't attempt any real meditation, just tried to notice where the tension was and relax it...and breathe.
I know there is a crying jag waiting for me, too, but that didn't come up this time.
When I rejoined my family I was happy and calm. It was the end of the day by then, of course, so Joel was pretty well settled and the animals were quiet. We watched a little TV, then went to bed with no drama and no tension. Lovely. And I got the best sleep.
Thursday, Day 48, is so much history already that I don't remember whether I did any of my Practice or not.
Today, with Joel doing so well, I found it easy to just ask for and take some private time this morning after all the 'stuff' was done. I got almost 25 minutes of sitting in before one of my own (forgotten) timers went off. Shortly after I've fixed lunch for Joel, I'll take some time for Tai Chi.
Oh, almost forgot... a lovely present for me! My friend Jessica came over about 1:00 in the afternoon on Thursday and gave me a 30 minute chair massage. What a treat, and SO timely. She gets stars for the gift, I get a few for accepting it so easily.
I have noticed during this time that the tension in my belly has returned. And I think that I can now say that it is rage that lives there. Even in the Tai Chi practice, that is the last thing I'm able to relax now, and it doesn't last long; do it over and over...
Some of the surface reasons are that Joel tends to whimper, moan, and whine. That behavior sets my teeth on edge. But what I felt/noticed Wednesday was way bigger than can be explained by that. I'm not sure what it is, but now I have a direction for some of this work.
So, now it's time for lunch. All is well. The Practice is continuing in its/my way. Old habit energy would like me to make some big deal about how poorly I'm doing it, but evidence of Wednesday and my commitment to this Practice, and very timely support from a couple of Great Friends are helping me change that, too.
I'll close today with two great quotes that came across my computer this week:
"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." -Eden Phillpotts
"Look to the beauty for truth. And to what hurts, for its beauty."
- Tut, Notes from the Universe