I'm posting today to vent a little, but more importantly to notice and record that things keep working out for me. in very interesting ways.
There were two emails in my box from Laura; could NOT have been more pertinent to me and what's going on here. Nor could it come from someone with more experience in care-giving/taking than she.
The Note from the Universe this morning was:
"Here's a trick, Kate, for dealing with someone who's disappointed you:
Imagine how they looked as a very young child -- timid, a little scared, really cute, and truly not knowing any better -- and realize this is who you're dealing with now.
I wanted to say first that I was not disappointed in Joel, but that is only partly true. I knew this week would be tough on her. But I didn't think about getting a call by 8:30 on the first morning. And I thought/think that, in the long run, she will learn how much stronger she has become because of the PT, and she'll notice how quickly the knee gets flexible again with the added movement.
I didn't count on how hard the morning routine would feel to her. It isn't hard for me, but I don't have new knee, either. And Joel feels pain in a different way & intensity than I do. I've known it a long time, but knowing intellectually and 'getting it' are not the same things.
The Universe quote is doubly appropriate because we make jokes about Joel being the oldest 12 yr old I know. When she's in pain, that age drops a bit.
ALL of my care-taker buttons are vibrating, but so are a few of my self-care buttons. (Can't always find those!) So this week will be an interesting lesson in balance - for myself, mostly; since Joel's balance is really in her hands, no matter how badly I'd like to change things for her.
Abraham had this to say this morning:
"Achieve, first, the vibrational essence of your desire—and then, through the crack of least resistance the manifestation will be delivered... work on the essence of the feeling of freedom; work on the essence of the feeling of empowerment— work on the essence of the feeling of Well-Being... And how do you do that? You can imagine it already having happened and pretend what it will feel like when it is that way. Or, you can look for things in your life that are already like that and beat the drum of that until they play a higher percentage of time in the vibrational signal that you are emanating." ---Abraham
Before the call, I got in 15 minutes of meditation. After breakfast, I managed 2 cycles thru the 5 Elements form. I'll get to more later. As for now, I will practice both suggestions in the quote from Abraham: I will imagine that what I want to feel is already true, thereby making those feelings real within me; and I will/am finding the things in my life that are perfect now. Perfect like this opportunity for both Joel and me to come out stronger than we came into this week.
I'm going to head into town shortly, put out a couple of fires, and look again at the set-up at home with an eye to making things as easy as they can be.
Whatever happens, by the end of this week Joel will be stronger. In many ways.
And so will I be.
Man, things can change SO fast! I got another call from Joel after the pain meds had a chance to go to work, and everything's entirely different.
I know this - I just didn't remember what with all those caretaker buttons firing all at once! Wake up, Kate, and smell the coffee!
I'll go down as originally planned about 12:30 or so... and we'll sing a little with K & M. And all will be - is now - absolutely perfect. I just love how things work out for me.
Now, I've played frisbee with Zia for about a half hour; now for some quality time with my ukulele.