I can scarcely believe that this is Day 38.
Meditation is what it is for me, still. Today I started with just breath but switched to the guided meditation about 5 minutes in. That runs for about 15 minutes, then I was able to continue with just breath again. I think about 35 minutes altogether... That seems to be my current wall for duration.
The form so far consisted of 3 cycles thru the 5 Elements Form. I like that form more and more and I especially like it in the morning. It feels like such a great way to greet the day. I will make some time for Yang later in the day, but for now, I can't get to clothes without risking waking folks. And I'm a little possessive of this quiet time. Maxie is with me; she wouldn't have stayed in a bed empty of mamas. Bearly is sleeping with Joel. Cool.
He's staying very close to her since he came home. I don't know if there is any significance to that, but I like to think so.
And Mango just came in asking for his morning treat and massage. ..my mistake: today it was treats only. :)
I'm liking the fact that I'm letting this stuff be as it is. The meditation is shorter than I will be able to do later on, but I'm happy with the time in the chair even when it feels scattered and fruitless, sometimes. I could say the same about the form, too. Some days, it feels that it gets done just so I can report it here. Letting that be ok, too. Old habit energy is beginning to shift.I used to be so quick to judge myself; it is a delight to feel that urge falling away.
I'm happy happy happy with the DISCIPLINE that puts me in the chair and takes me thru one form or the other - sometimes both. Yes, it's partly motivated by my love for my sifu and a desire to make him proud & show him I learn from his teaching. That I learn must be obvious over the years, but the experience is shifting now and becoming deeper and more personal, and is more important to me for MY sake now. Besides, he cares about me like I am, anyway.
And I believe I'm seeing results of the time spent in the way I get thru these days. My patience quotient is way up and that is serving me very well right now, as you might imagine.
I would spend more time writing. Perhaps that will work out better as the schedule jells... A PT person from Home Health will be here sometime today. Hope it times will with Joie's meds.
I'm also doing a much better job of taking care of myself, too, during these care-giving days. I've booked a wife-sitter (the angelic K & M) for today so I can go grocery shopping. And I have them coming out again on Thursday so I can help run the Karaoke Party at Cree Country Club. That should be fun! I haven't decided on my costume. I might wear an old Tai Chi jacket and my coolie hat. Or I might wear this... if I can find some ears...
So, have a great day (unless you have other plans); I already started!