Good Morning, World!
I'm glad I stayed for the game.
Today, though the physical sky is cloudy and dripping lovely rain, my eternal/internal sky is glowing and golden. Thank you to all my Buddhas.
Yesterday was a toughie, I will tell you. Weepy and morose and unable to get on top of it. I wanted a lap, not a lap dog, and some big strapping arms to hold me and make it all better.
Yesterday was also my 21st anniversary, and I didn't want to spend it crying all over Joel. (That works a number on her, anyway, and serves no purpose.) She is good at holding and hearing about it once the waterworks are done.
It was hard to get it done yesterday...
But I persist, if nothing else.
Reached out a couple of times. Text - phone - even typed an email for Laura I didn't send.
I just kept on with things: chores, gathering data for Mayo, meals...
Sort of looming in the background was a plan initiated by others, accepted by me (w/o remembering anniversary) -- the Karaoke Night at Cree. Talk about a push-pull.
Gotta keep this short - stuff to do.
Had to talk to Dr.'s office about records to pick up today, same with hospital. Now... I never got thru to the friends whose laps I wanted to sit on. But every human I spoke to yesterday was a little Buddha sent to calm me and help me breathe. I encountered AMAZING customer service, gentle understanding voices, and even got close to the lap. (thanks, Vanessa.) Phone voices were Linda Salcido at White Mtn Medical, Sally at Lincoln Co. Medical. Missed the name of the female at Mayo who, though she couldn't help, spoke gently and with compassion. All very cool.
For the push-pull to Karaoke, I went. Marcia, bless you, stayed here with Joel; Kathryn went with me. We met the new friends, had a good time, and two beers, got to sing 3 times; once in trio with Kathryn and Susan - much fun!! And on my last number - my current best - I just pretended I was 'singing for my life' on The Voice or AI and put it all in the song - sent it soaring.... I NAILED IT. and everybody knew it, too. Got a GREAT response. If it had been the finals, I WON.
And this morning, I got the real prize.
I got to sit in a chair with a dog on my lap and only one curtain pulled open on this rainy day...
and I watched the scene, and noticed. Felt. Sat in my own lap, and feel grateful.
I thought about the people I reached for and missed; for those I wanted to reach for, but didn't; and about the strangers and acquaintances who treated me gently all day. I had imaginary conversations with my favorite Buddhas and realized I'm one, too.
So, I'd like you to know:
Laura, Shaula, Susan F., Joel, Jim, Vanessa, Kathryn, Marcia, Sue John & Marie, Linda, Sally, Ruth, William, Angel, and the crowd at Cree. Thanks for the great night, and this beautiful gratitude that I feel. Love...